MetaChat - Is it always going to be this way?

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11 April 2007

Is it always going to be this way? I've joked for a long time about the coldness and rudeness of Boston. But I secretly assumed it wouldn't be as bad once I actually lived here. →[More:]

I've gotten lost. Repeatedly. The Boston area doesn't seem to like to spend money on street signs. Particularly the larger, arterial streets. I guess they figure that if you're on it you must know where you are. Wrong. I've chalked this up to the fact that a lot of New Englanders don't seem to like people "from away". They don't like new people in their shops, in their jobs or on their streets. So they aren't going to do anything to make it easier for someone "from away" to be here.

I've gotten my first street sweeping ticket: $50. My town apparently sweeps each side of each street twice a month. Yet the streets are still filthy. Litter and dirt everywhere.

I have no furniture. After eleven days in town and 15 or 16 since I've last slept in my bed and three schedule changes my things are scheduled to be here today. I'm trying not to count on that.

I have no knobs. My apartment wasn't in what I would call "ready to move in" shape when I arrived. There were still groceries (very old) in the refrigerator, there are still coats in the coat closet, a BBQ on the porch and the worst? Mildewed shower curtains. I'm still without knobs to my stove though. Which, isn't so bad because I don't have anything to cook on or with, or eat from. But... still!

I've realized I live in the ghetto part of my town. It's hard to know this for sure, but in a geographic area known for it's predominate whiteness, I'm in a very multicultural area. It feels like a happy accident.

I've been barked at by a shopkeeper and sworn at by a crazy/rude woman in the airport who didn't want me to take her photo. Nevermind that I was facing away from her, shooting out the window. It made me want to chase after her with my camera.

I've paid $8 for a bottle of Amstel Light at a "club". Now, when Bostonians say "club" they don't mean a club like anything I've ever known. They mean a single night of the week in a rented space. This was the basement of a theater. Kind of weird.

Will it always be this way?

post by: FlamingBore at: 12:29 | 37 comments

You are going to feel SO MUCH BETTER once your belongings arrive.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 11 April | 12:41

Boston definitely took some getting used to - then I found myself missing it when I left.

Where are you living?

posted by Lola_G 11 April | 12:47

*hugs FlamingBore*

I felt the same way about San Antonio when I first moved here. My neighborhood sucked, it took forever to drive anywhere, streets are confusing and I always got lost, the bars here are total dives, and the nice bars are full of 30-somethings or airforce kids and airforce groupies. I feel a lot better now.

posted by muddgirl 11 April | 12:52

Give Boston a chance. I lived there for five years.

Okay, granted, I didn't spend that much time in Boston proper (so I won't fawn over it properly). But Brookline and Cambridge and Newton are lovely, they really are.

Go down to Coolidge Corner in Brookline sometime. The Coolidge theater is great; every so often they have live readings with the people from Brookline Booksmith (I saw Andrei Codrescu!). On April 20 they have a BUFFY SING-ALONG and OMG how pissed am I that I'm not there for it? Booksmith and the Book Cellar are grand. Paris Creperie is orgasmic (try the Brie and Apples sometime). Gourmet India has huge servings of really really good Indian food for very little money. JP Licks...I really don't need to say more.

Further down by St. Mary's is Japonaise, a French-Japanese bakery. Their an pan is amazing.

Cambridge has the Brattle Theater. Around Halloween they play all kinds of awesome movies. Cambridge also has Burdick Chocolate, which has such wee cute little chocolate mice and the best hot chocolate on the planet, hands down, game over. There's also the Harvard Coop, which has author readings all the time. And there's Friday night English Country Dance down by Harvard, and afterwards they go out for ice cream and socializing; it's a really cool bunch of people.

Newton has Baker's Best, which has great tuna salad (and everything else too). The Newton Public Library is freaking amazing.

Waltham (even further out) has a farmer's market on Saturdays. And they've also got Cafe on the Common; free wifi, great carrot cake, awesome vibe. I used to go to the market then while away a few hours at the cafe. There's also a great Indian market with all kinds of weird veggies a little further down Main.

There's loads of stuff in Cambridge and Boston that I'm not mentioning. What neighborhood are you in?

(But you're totally right about the street signs. Grrrr.)

posted by Fuzzbean 11 April | 12:59

The signage crap is definitely a Massachusetts thing. There are two techniques MA people use to isolate outsiders. The first is that they only put street signs for major arteries at major intersections (if then), because they assume that if you're on a major street you'd know what that street is. The other is oddball pronunciation of seemingly simple town names (Peabody, Worcester, Leominster, etc).

posted by plinth 11 April | 13:21

Hey, at least the train stops running before last call!

(Of course, who wants to be out that late anyway, when all the bars in Boston are chock full of cap-holes....)

posted by dersins 11 April | 13:27

Thanks all. I don't have a choice but to give it a chance for at least a few months. It's just very frustrating to have to turn to people on the web for a little humanity. It's just weird.

I'm in the Winter Hill area of Somerville. I've hit Davis Square this past weekend. I went to a dyke clubnight called Aria (where the $8 beer came from).

Fuzzbean, I saw something on a local program about Coolidge Corner and it's on my list. I take a look at Upcoming.org to see if there's anything interesting going on, but it's hard to tell if something will be worth the trip from just those listings. I just found Bostonist.com today and am hoping that will be helpful in finding out cool stuff to do and see in town.

oh plinth, don't I know it! I have a friend who lives in Leominster and I couldn't reconcile what she said with what she wrote.

posted by FlamingBore 11 April | 13:27

dersins, is "cap-holes" a term for fratboys?

posted by FlamingBore 11 April | 13:35

1. You'll be so much happier once you're cocooned with your own stuff. To be without your belongings feels so isolating. It will happen, really! Then the odd feeling that all of Boston has shifted its good side away from you will evaporate.

2. When you feel you cannot take it one more week, take a ride up to Portland, Maine, where the municipality has recognized that we thrive on the business brought by out-of-towners. We have street signs, people will stop to give directions, and if you time it right, my fella and I will buy you a beer or a cup of coffee. And smile at you! Really!

(We're planning to take my SO's niece to Boston's science museum some week soon. I've been wanting to go for a couple of years now, but never have. Should be great!)

posted by Elsa 11 April | 13:50

Agreed - Portland, Maine feels like a getaway! You can come up to Portsmouth, NH, too, when you want a smaller and friendlier town.
Newburyport and the beaches of Plum Island are another quick jaunt away.

I'm writing down Fuzzbean's recommendations, too. I don't know Boston as well as I'd like. There's still more exploring to do there. But since she recommended English country dance, I'll put in a plug for the single greatest regular swing dance event on the East coast - the weekly Swing City. I try to go several times a year. It's awesome (and they offer a free beginner lesson at the start of every dance, which is plenty to get you hooked, for the night or for a lifetime).

posted by Miko 11 April | 13:57

Davis Square is fun; the Burren, right in the center, can be great if you're in the right mood.

Heading toward Inman, you'll find a lot of great places. The Druid was one of my favorite bars there. On nice nights, the Thirsty Scholar is also great -- they have big windows overlooking the street that they open.

All three bars (other than Friday and Saturday nights) are the kind of cozy-in, grab a beer and talk all night long pubby places that I miss.

Inman Square proper has more upscale places, too, most of which are worth poking around a bit.

Oh! And the Abbey Lounge! The live music's sometimes a bit iffy, but it's a great dive bar that has (or at least had, when I was there) an actual "local old guys drinking" contigent, not just manufactured uber-hip diviness.

But I do have to agree on the whole "coldness" thing, especially when the weather sucks. The city does go through a personality change when it gets warm, though -- people start wandering around outside with big smiles on their faces.

posted by occhiblu 11 April | 13:59

you think we're nuts, but you'll love it pretty soon, it's a great city

posted by matteo 11 April | 14:03

I'm crossing my fingers for you, but you've described pretty much all the reasons I only lasted there for just under a year.

posted by mudpuppie 11 April | 14:12

Oh, and sometime after the weather gets warm (it HAS to, eventually :P), put a big towel or blanket and your favorite book in your bag, take the T to Boston Commons, buy yourself a fresh-squeezed lemonade with the sugar still crystalline at the bottom and maybe some fried dough, if that's your thing, find a nice friendly tree to sit under, and just hang out. You'll see the charm.

Just DON'T try to drive. Trust me. Rule one of liking Boston is learning which places not to drive, and the Commons is definitely one of them. So's Harvard Square (most of Cambridge, actually).

posted by Fuzzbean 11 April | 14:25

I spent sixteen months without the bulk of my stuff -- books, kitchen gear, clothes, some furniture. Yeah, when the movers arrive, life will begin anew.

I'm interested in this thread somewhat because I have to come a-visiting an intern I know at the French consulate next month. She's living in Dorchester. I have no idea where the hell I'll stay, but hopefully it'll be somewhere close by and I can leave the rental car in situ and use public transportation to do the tourist thing that weekend.

posted by PaxDigita 11 April | 14:52

mudpuppie - ya. I've been coming to the area for at least one week each month for nearly two years. I am starting to loose hope.

But, I just got off the phone with the driver of my moving truck and they are about 30 miles away. I figure will traffic they'll be here by 6pm. Argh.

Now if I could just figure out a decent/non-expensive way to get myself to Logan at an insanely early hour on a Saturday. Any suggestions? I'm thinking from Somerville that my best/cheapest might just be a taxi.

posted by FlamingBore 11 April | 15:06

dersins, is "cap-holes" a term for fratboys?

It is indeed. [baseball]cap-[wearing ass-]holes.

Usually the baseball caps are white.

Often, they're paired with "Coed Naked Lacrosse" t-shirts. Except on Saturday nights, when they're usually paired with shiny, diagonally-striped dress shirts.

Every bar I've ever been to in Boston is chock full of them.

It's a term I've shamelessly stolen from a woman I used to date. I like it instead of "frat boys" because I've actually known a few OK guys who were in fraternities.

A very few, but still...

posted by dersins 11 April | 15:20

Awww, FlamingBore, don't lose heart just yet!

Winter Hill has historically been kind of a tough area ... that's Whitey Bulger's old stomping grounds.

I'm from Maine originally and even with my New England credentials, I was appalled at the manners, driving behavior, etc. of Bostonians. I've lived here for almost 15 years and so I am used to it now, but it did take me a while to adjust.

For airport transportation, I sometimes use Green Cab, right there in Somerville: 617.628.0600. Or you could take the train to the airport, but I guess that would depend on how early "insanely" early is.

posted by initapplette 11 April | 15:30

Thanks dersins, I just called them "boys in hats" in Chicago, but it's the same thing.

initapplette - I thought that Southie was Bulger's stomping ground? I like the area - I was just surprised how diverse the area is.

posted by FlamingBore 11 April | 15:39

Whitey Bulger was head of the Winter Hill Gang (angelfire site, beware popups) from 1978 to 1995 (some sources say 1997, when he was tipped off by his FBI handler to his impending arrest and vanished).

posted by initapplette 11 April | 15:48

I've chalked this up to the fact that a lot of New Englanders don't seem to like people "from away". They don't like new people in their shops, in their jobs or on their streets. So they aren't going to do anything to make it easier for someone "from away" to be here.

I've never heard of the phrase "from away" before. I'm assuming you've heard it there or something? And I wouldn't call all this a "new england" thing. I'd call that a "Massachusetts" thing, because that's definitely not how we do things in RI.

"Rhode Island: We're Nicer Here."

I hope things get better!

::sends good vibes::

posted by CitrusFreak12 11 April | 16:09

My son is spending part of the summer up there at the JFK library on some student research thing-he gets to go thru Ernest Hemingway's papers and such. Yay him.

Is there anything around there that could tempt a confirmed bookwork nerd out into the sunshine?

posted by bunnyfire 11 April | 16:11

We'd have to have sunshine in order to tempt anyone.

posted by FlamingBore 11 April | 16:16

I've never heard of the phrase "from away" before.

That's because you're from away.

posted by Elsa 11 April | 17:11

(Truly, to many people from Northern New England, Rhode Island is Away. Heck, I lived in Maine when I was a tiny kid, but when my family moved back after a few years, suddenly I was From Away. I still am.)

posted by Elsa 11 April | 17:13

Uh Oh.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 11 April | 18:19

I just saw that too, TPS, and came in here to offer my condolences.

I don't recommend this as a way to go, Flaming Bore, but here's an anecdote:

Friends of a friend (who, honestly, were very smart people but very dumb about some things) had an antique wardrobe that they couldn't get into a new apartment. It simply wouldn't fit through any doors or windows, no matter how they tried.

So they cut it in half.

It was worthless from then on, but I guess they really just wanted to keep it in the family instead of selling it off for the big bucks it was worth.

Sorry your move is going so rough at first. It'll get better, and you'll find another couch you like just as well.

If nothing else, people in the Boston area leave GREAT stuff out on the sidewalk on trash day.

posted by mudpuppie 11 April | 18:37

Oh, FlamingBore... *Empathetic sigh*

Really, I'll buy you that beer when you come to town.

posted by Elsa 11 April | 18:56

Oh man. That *really* sucks. Make sure to leave some kind of note on it indicating that it isn't trash or the Boston curb fairies will have their way with it.

posted by Fuzzbean 11 April | 19:06

Thanks all.

This really has been one of the worst experiences. They movers were kind enough to re-wrap it and set it at the side of the building for me.

The further irony is that I took this apartment because I was certain it would fit up through the stairwell. I had been looking at a tiny place in Southie but I realized the stairs might be too tight for it.

Boston is making me miss Albuquerque. I thought that would never happen. Right now I'm going to take a walk and find some beer and food. Lots of beer, a little food.

And if any of you know someone who would like a really sexy/swank sofa be sure to point them in my direction.

posted by FlamingBore 11 April | 19:25

Flamingbore, I just found my favorite Davis Square place: Sacco's Bowl Haven.

Admittedly, it's been 10 years since I lived there, and I didn't live in Somerville, but that was my favorite place in Boston.

Hope things get better for you.

posted by mudpuppie 11 April | 19:46

Thanks again to all. I have found rescue!

posted by FlamingBore 11 April | 21:36

I cannot wait to get out of MA. Cannot.

posted by Eideteker 11 April | 21:42

I LIKE the aloofness. I wasn't 50 pounds overweight there and I've been hassled far more often in NYC. The weird thing is that MA feels like home when I DON'T live there.

posted by brujita 12 April | 01:33

I realize this is the fuzzy bunny website, but you should be aware that not everyone can tolerate Boston. I spent college and one summer there, detested the city for every minute of it, left as soon as I could and never looked back.

College and campus weren't bad - fond memories, don't mind returning to walk about - but Boston and myself are immiscible. I had to go back for the Neurology boards, breaking a promise to myself never to voluntarily travel to Boston as a destination again. It was every bit the soulless, lifeless, freezing, miserable agglomeration of the worst in humanity that I remembered from before and I was delighted to leave.

posted by ikkyu2 12 April | 02:30

ikkyu2 - Thanks for the perspective. I fear that I might feel that way in the end, but I'd like to give it a shot to not.

posted by FlamingBore 12 April | 07:09

FlamingBore (and everyone else local) -- I live in Coolidge Corner. Lemme know if you'd like to meet up when you're around for the theater or the Booksmith basement or whatever -- I've been meaning to go back to the fast-food Indian restaurant for ages.

posted by nonane 12 April | 21:58

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