What's the power differential between the businesses, if there is one -- does your company buy stuff from his? Does his buy stuff from yours? Something else entirely?

It's... complicated. We're working together to offer a system (they supply data, we supply hardware), so I suppose we're more or less on an even keel. However, he definitely has more experience than me (we're both engineers).

Never ever offer to split. Way too cheesy for business. Since it was his invite I would expect he is paying. If there is a pause at check time pay it yourself as you know you will be reimbersed.

I think: Etiquette wise, it's really up to him to pay, since he issued the invitation.

But! People don't always follow that rule.

So! I would assume he's likely to pick up the entire check,

But! If he doesn't immediately reach for it, I would take it and pay the entire thing, probably saying something like, "It's on the company."

Assuming! That your company actually will reimburse you.

But! If he makes a large objection -- not just a token "oh, here, let me...." [trailing off] -- then you should let him pay, or split it, or do whatever he then suggests, because, as I said, officially he is the host.

Or, what arse said. :)

But yes, don't offer to split it; that's weird. You can accept his offer to split it, even though his offer to split would be weird and unsophisticated, because it's still proper etiquette to be gracious to people who do weird/rude things in order to make them feel at ease.

You know, this is why I don't go out with people. Sheesh!

Awww, I did my best to make it a flowchart for you. :)

It's complicated because the old rules are breaking down, or people are choosing not to follow them, so you have to kind of both know the old rules, and how to graciously deal with someone who's not following the rules. It's a lot of if/thens.

My company, a medium sized and fairly flexible software company, won't reimburse us for taking colleagues from other companies out to dinner (they'll pay for our dinner, but not theirs) at conferences or otherwise. Yours might be different, but you should either check with your corporate finance department or play it safe and get separate bills.

This isn't an issue about etiquette, it's an issue of you both following your company's guidelines for getting your money back since you're both on work trips and no one likes to pay out of pocket for conference related expenses.

It's a lot of if/thens.

No it isn't, it's a simple matter of calling the person who is in charge of approving expenses and asking if they'll approve it.

Well, it's if/thens in terms of dealing with the other person, and his expectations. Even if both companies are reimbursing, or not reimbursing, there are ways of dealing with that fact that are team-building, and ways of dealing with that fact that are off-putting.

personally, i try to avoid business lunches/dinners like the plague. im a slow, messy eater. and it's difficult trying to discuss serious business shit when im stuffing my maw and spilling shit all over myself. same sort of thing with golf, usually. i tee off and im all like "shit fuck cock tits fucking assfuck!" and that's not cool.

so, ill usually do just coffee or drinks and generally not sweat the tab. but i make it a rule to never pay for the sex; it's either free, or you pay me.