MetaChat - Straw poll on Sarah Jessica Parker

I think she's one of those people who, while not a natural knockout, always looks very good because she's incredibly well-groomed and styled (gorgeous!). This category also includes Jennifer Aniston and a quite a few other generic looking celebrities, IMHO.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 22 March | 09:27

She's ugly-beautiful...I like how she looks in her perfume ads, all soft and pretty...other times....not so much.

posted by phoenixc 22 March | 09:28

This category also includes Jennifer Aniston and a quite a few other generic looking celebrities

This is a work discussion (it's a hard day at the office, obviously) and Jennifer Aniston has come up in that as well. There's an insane argument that, if you shaved Jennifer's hair off, people wouldn't find her attractive. This argument, for some reason, only applies to Jennifer...

posted by TheDonF 22 March | 09:32

The camera sure can catch her strange, but she's ultra petite, funny, and well put-together (as TPS says), so I bet she's a real life stunner. Not a pin-up girl, no.

I have a suspicion that her marriage is a sham, mostly because Mr. Broderick seems so terribly effeminate to me. So that's interesting.

posted by rainbaby 22 March | 09:35

There's an insane argument that, if you shaved Jennifer's hair off, people wouldn't find her attractive. This argument, for some reason, only applies to Jennifer...

No, they wouldn't, and no, it doesn't only apply to her. It's all about grooming and styling, even for the most beautiful celebrities. Remember when Britney Spears was beautiful? Then she gained some weight (after having 2 babies!) and let her hair go, and all of a sudden she's ugly and a joke. There's no such thing as natural beauty in the celeb realm- it's all manufactured.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 22 March | 09:38

She's got that extra helping of charisma to be able to pull off the less flattering angles of her face. There's some beach-scene in Honeymoon in Vegas where she is smoking hot with her hair all wet and pulled back in a very simple white bathing suit.

Plus - she was Annie! Who doesn't love that?
≡ Click to see image ≡

posted by dabitch 22 March | 09:38

Gap Ad - Pretty Khaki - Featuring: Sarah Jessica Parker - Music: I Enjoy Being A Girl

posted by dabitch 22 March | 09:43

I think she looks like Gheorghe Muresan. I think Will Smith looks like Gheorghe Muresan, too.

Now that I think of it, all celebrities look like Gheorghe Muresan to me.

Everyone I meet looks like Ghorghe Muresan. They're all 7'7" and looming over me with pushed-in noses and clowny smiles. When do I go home, mommy?

posted by Hugh Janus 22 March | 09:43

Yeah, you see, in that Annie pic, she looks like a guy in a dress and a bad wig. Maybe it was a casting for Dannie?

posted by TheDonF 22 March | 09:43

The funny thing about Ms. Parker is that she's somehow simultaneously photogenic and unphotogenic - I can't think of another famous lady who veers so wildly between utter munter and hot stuff depending on the picture/film.

Aniston just looks like a man in a wig. Spectacular bosoms, mind you.

posted by jack_mo 22 March | 09:44

Aniston just looks like a man in a wig.

What?! One of us needs a trip to the opticians!

posted by TheDonF 22 March | 09:47

I saw an on-set picture of Eva Longoria recently, and she looked less like a sex goddess and more like a gremlin.

In other words, there are very few celebrities that are naturally attractive. Reading gossip columns that regularly feature ugly pictures of celebrities has pretty much ruined TV and movies for me.

posted by muddgirl 22 March | 09:48

≡ Click to see image ≡
Yeah you're right TheDonF, she looks like a boy in a wig in her Annie days.

posted by dabitch 22 March | 09:56

I think she was cute pre-SitC. She used to go on Letterman and be so chirpy and fun and stuff, that I would fall in love with her everytime.

But something seems to have happened, and I don't think she's as attractive now. It's not as simple as aging, either, as there are many beautiful women her age, you know?

I think Jennifer Anniston is very attractive, but I don't know how much of that is because the sense of humour I think she has. She's funny, at various times has had a killer body, and is pretty good looking, I'd say anyway. So, yeah, she's totally on my list.

posted by richat 22 March | 10:05

nosebag

posted by dodgygeezer 22 March | 10:06

She can look amazingly hot and scarily not, but generic she has never looked.

posted by justgary 22 March | 10:07

I was going to come in and say horse-faced even before I read the more inside.

posted by chrismear 22 March | 10:09

But something seems to have happened, and I don't think she's as attractive now. It's not as simple as aging, either, as there are many beautiful women her age, you know?

Well, she has clearly had some work done- in season 1 of Sex and the City, the woman has wrinkles. Now- nothing, her face barely movies. Little too much Botox or something, I think.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 22 March | 10:10

SJP: charismatic uggo.
JA: obnoxious pretty girl.

posted by cortex 22 March | 10:11

Part of it might be the fact that, like Madonna, she's spent far too much time in the gym. They're both far too thin and muscley.

posted by TheDonF 22 March | 10:13

there are very few celebrities that are naturally attractive.

And what's truly weird is that some of Hollywood's perennial sexbombs like Marilyn Monroe, Mae West, Bette Davis, Ann Margaret, Lauren Bacall etc. would have trouble breaking into today's Hollywood. (and I'd say this applies to men, too. Just substitute 'handsome' for 'pretty' below)

As I said yesterday, there's a difference between 'pretty' and 'sexy.' 'Pretty' is some cryptic set of standards and signifiers created by the fashion industry. 'Sexy' is a subjective, animal response. And bing sexy is 99% attitude (the other one percent being basic hygeine). Also, there seem to be only two notes in today's sex symbol symphony: a squicky Lolita shtick and a vaguely frightening predatory femme fatale routine. The popularity of neo-burlesque and the vintage pinup photography style gives me some hope, since it's one of the few places to go to see some quirkiness and playfulness, not to mention a vision of beauty that differs from the People magazine '50 Most Beautiful' crowd.

posted by jonmc 22 March | 10:23

There was a review I once read of... Ocean's Eleven, maybe? that had a great analysis of Julia Roberts, and why her beauty was fading. She had suddenly gotten "old" in Hollywood terms, and now looked like she had to fight to stay beautiful and keep the roles coming in, rather than just effortlessly gliding through her screen time.

I could see something similar being said about SJP. The jackals and vultures and circling (do jackals circle?), and she's having to harden up in order to keep her career.

posted by occhiblu 22 March | 10:26

She's not pretty, but all her life people have been telling her she was, so she acts like it. Lotsa people like her; there are lotsa people like her. That's what star quality is these days. I kinda resent that self-esteem-boosting treatment, but only because I never got it, really. Any sense of self-worth is my own; that makes me feel superior to people who got a lot of support growing up, but I also understand that this aspect of my self-centeredness is one of the biggest things that make me an asshole. As a kid I got unconditional love but no flattery. I flatter myself: I'm fulla shit. I think she's a dog, but I don't think that matters. I don't like the choices she makes as an actress, including the personality she projects. That's the worst of it: she's a one-note hack with a string of manufactured stage luck going back to her childhood, where, horror-of-horrors, she was actually encouraged.

What a bitter dick I am. I've decided never to hold an opinion on Sarah Jessica Parker again. zzzzzzzZAP! Done!

posted by Hugh Janus 22 March | 10:26

Heh. "Julia Roberts tight smile" turned up the article:

This is a face now that has spent too many late nights reading scripts, trust fund reports and the Wall Street Journal. The eyes have narrowed. She wears her hair tight in this film, and that's a disaster, for you notice that her head is small. And whereas in the age of "Pretty Woman" she was naturally slender and yet fleshy at the same time (that awesome spring in a young woman's life), I'd guess that she is having to work much harder now at keeping the weight off. That shows not just in the severity of her cheeks, but in the bad temper behind her eyes. There are those of us who do not enjoy dieting, endless workouts and the joylessness of self-discipline. So we cannot keep the feel of hatred out of our expression. It's there now in Julia, and you feel she's learned too much about self-sacrifice to give us that complete, gushing, rapturous smile again.

She has her Oscar. She's very rich. She has reputation and respectability. But all of those are now things she might lose. And you feel that dread tightening its grip on the extraordinary sexy generosity without which she would be an unknown still....

I know, Julia Roberts is only 34, and to be as rich, famous and beautiful as she is at 34 is an American dream. But somehow I get the feeling that her blithe, happy days are over. She can't really play kids anymore -- and coltishness was so much her thing. One day soon, not too far ahead, someone's going to say what about Julia as the villain.

posted by occhiblu 22 March | 10:30

And what's truly weird is that some of Hollywood's perennial sexbombs like Marilyn Monroe

Marilyn Monroe wasn't born looking like Marilyn Monroe- she had a ton of work done. Pictures of her as a teen look like a completely different person. Knowing that, I'm not sure she would have trouble breaking in these days- she would just have to change herself to fit a different standard.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 22 March | 10:31

She had suddenly gotten "old" in Hollywood terms,

I think Hollywood has become so neurotic about about profit that they've tried to reduce beauty and charisma to a mathematical formula rather than just trusting instincts. I was never much of a Julia Roberts fan, but look at Lauren Bacall, she's old enough to be my grandma and she still radiates sexiness. Why not let Roberts do the same, it'd please both her and her audience regardless of what the number crunchers think.

on preview: Marilyn's sexiness was about waaay more than just her looks. and by todays Hollywood standards she'd be considered 'too curvy' and wind up cast as the funny best friend, which is patently ridiculous.

posted by jonmc 22 March | 10:34

Marilyn's sexiness was about waaay more than just her looks.

Maybe so (I'm doubtful on that point), but looks were the main, huge part of it. She would never have become Marilyn Monroe, Beautiful Legend, without looking the way she did. Of course, dying while still young and beautiful probably helped a lot, too.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 22 March | 10:43

Attractive or horse-faced?

Both.

posted by iconomy 22 March | 10:46

Maybe so (I'm doubtful on that point)

Actually, by strict standards of symettry and what not, Rita Hayworth and Audrey Hepburn were more beautiful, but Marilyn exuded charisma and sensuality, which is a huge factor in becoming a sex symbol as opposed to just another pretty face.

posted by jonmc 22 March | 10:46

(and as I said this goes for men, too. George Clooney is a handsome guy, sure, but the world's full of those. It's the charm and roguishnes (and the acting talent) that set him apart from the generic pretty boys)

posted by jonmc 22 March | 10:49

she'd be considered 'too curvy' and wind up cast as the funny best friend, which is patently ridiculous.

Isn't that exactly what her first roles were? A funny and dumb best friend, a ditzy receptionist? That sort of thing? :)

But I second the Lauren Bacall is teh hawt comment. She's got it. Whatever it is.

posted by dabitch 22 March | 10:57

If Audrey Hepburn was a young starlet today, she would be hounded by the paps, who would constantly try to take photos of her eating, and Perez Hilton would publish photos of her and add little white cum spots dripping out of the corner of her mouth, and little crabs running out of her crotch, and he'd cast aspersions on her character and make fun of her weight, and the comments section would be filled with illuminating and well-thought out comments like

Bitch, eat a sandwich!!!

Yup, she's anorexic. Like, duh. She looks like an underweight pixie.

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

I love her. Eat shit and die, Perez!

Perez, you hypocritcal fat fuck! Who the hell are you to make comments about anyone's weight, you fucking queer!

Um.....Perez, why don't you draw crabs on the photos of Paris anymore? You have your nose so far up her diseased meat curtains and goiter ass, you fucking brown-nosing kiss ass!

WOW if you guys don't like Perez then why do you keep coming here? Every time you visit here he makes money from the ads, so who is the stupid one now HUH??? MORONS!!! I LOVE YOU PEREZ!!!

And so on.

posted by iconomy 22 March | 11:04

If Audrey Hepburn was a young starlet today, she would be hounded by the paps, who would constantly try to take photos of her eating

which just lends credence to the idea that no matter who you are or what you do, somebody's going to find a reason to hate you, so it's best to just ignore the peanut gallery and do your own thing.

posted by jonmc 22 March | 11:07

iconomy, that was so good... I'm convinced now that Perez has hired you and you do all the comments on his site.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 22 March | 11:13

SJP, Julia Roberts, Jennifer Aniston and a small bevy (yes, I said it) of Hollywood actors their age range can throw on a tiny bit of makeup a pair of jeans and a top, run out to the store and look just like everyone else. Then there are the Eva Longoria's who look frightful in the same. It's a matter of scale.

But to the people saying that no one in Hollywood is naturally beautiful I give you Holly Hunter, Halle Berry and Scarlett Johanssen (though I want to see what she looks like in fifteen years).

posted by FlamingBore 22 March | 11:22

Rita Hayworth and Audrey Hepburn

Rita Hayworth >>>>>>> Marilyn Monore any day of the week and twice on sundays.

posted by stynxno 22 March | 11:25

But to the people saying that no one in Hollywood is naturally beautiful I give you Holly Hunter, Halle Berry and Scarlett Johanssen

I've seen "ScarJo" in person on a "normal" day, and she's not OMG DROP DEAD STUNNING! the way pictures of her might suggest. She's just another pretty girl. I would imagine Holly Hunter and Halle Berry are the same- yes, they are beautiful, but not necessarily that much more beautiful than a "normal" person would be if all things were equal (makeup people, hair people, cooks, trainers, regular beauty treatments, plastic surgeons, airbrushers, etc).

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 22 March | 11:27

Well, shoot, pinky, with enough of all that you could turn Uncle Fester into Raquel Welch. But attractiveness is ultimately very subjective. And true, unaffected wide-range sex-appeal is a rare thing indeed. (I've only known three or four people personally who've had it, one male, the other two female. One of the males, I've seen literally not bathe for days and still enter a room and have every female eye following him raptly. I loved the guy, but I'm kinda glad he dosen't live so close anymore, made me feel like Ralph Malph.)

posted by jonmc 22 March | 11:36

Well, shoot, pinky, with enough of all that you could turn Uncle Fester into Raquel Welch.

And thread comes back full circle to Sarah Jessica Parker. My work here is done.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 22 March | 11:43

I'm convinced now that Perez has hired you and you do all the comments on his site.

Wouldn't that be the best job ever?? I would LOVE to do that! I could be quite the troll if I had to... >;)

posted by iconomy 22 March | 11:47

TPS, I'm guessing that Halle Berry is stunning in real life. Berry is definitely more beautiful than the "normal" person in my opinion.

I think SJP is appealing. She has a fabulous figure. As you said TPS, her grooming in impeccable. Although, I remember hubby saying that she needed to "brush her hair" when we watched Sex in the City. She has a gorgeous, fit, tiny frame that would stand out in real life.

Julia Roberts walks like a lumberjack, but what a smile. I kid. Occhiblu, that article is brutal.

Isn't it funny how everyone at the Oscars and the public couldn't quit raving about how gorgeous Helen Mirren was? She is gorgeous, but it's almost like an obligation to comment on how pretty she is because of her age. I find it offensive really. It's almost akin to saying Obama is so articulate. Mirren is "old" and beautiful and we're going to comment on that because you don't see "old and attractive" in Hollywood.

Rosanna Arquette made a movie on the subject of aging women in the entertainment industry, Searching for Debra Winger.

posted by LoriFLA 22 March | 12:15

Sarah Jessica Parker is not horse-faced. She does, however, look like a foot.

For those who say nobody is naturally beautiful: Isabella Rossellini. Sofia Loren, who is older than Yoda and still stop-your-heart hot.

posted by ROU Xenophobe 22 March | 12:18

LoriFLA, the article is brutal, but I like the way it ties our "Eh, not attractive anymore" reactions into the effects they have on people's actual lives. Julia Roberts (and others) do have to diet, work out, worry, scheme, etc. because otherwise we call them fat, over the hill, old... I like the way the article gets into the whole warped interaction and shows how it leaves nobody happy.

posted by occhiblu 22 March | 12:40

I could never understand why guys went mad for Uma Thurman, I always thought she was very plain (yeah, right, who am I to talk). But she's doing some ads on UK TV for Virgin Media at the moment and she looks beautiful. She seems to have grown into her looks.

posted by essexjan 22 March | 12:51

Mr. LoriFLA loves Uma.

Yes Occhiblu, I knew why you posted the article. It illustrates your point very well.

I love Mira Sorvino for everything; her acting, her intelligence, her looks. She's swell.

posted by LoriFLA 22 March | 13:08

iconomy answered it best: both. SJP, Aniston, Thurman and Roberts are all on my "attractive but not especially pretty" list.

I saw Sophia Loren in a magazine recently (Hello, I think), and man, hubba hubba! Truly gorgeous.

I swear Perez didn't used to be so nasty. Fame has certainly changed him. I had to quit reading his blog quite a while ago.

posted by deborah 22 March | 13:10

There's no such thing as natural beauty in the celeb realm- it's all manufactured.

That is what I keep telling my wife. She often gets very down on herself while watching the oscars and such things. I keep telling her that these women, and their handlers, spend TENS of THOUSANDS of dollars, even excluding clothing, to look like they do at such events.

And if you plopped them in 'real life' for a few weeks, without all the trainers, cooks, makeup people, stylists, dressers, etc. etc., they would look at lot like anyone else on the street.

posted by danf 22 March | 13:36

Exactly, danf! It is so true, and yet it's so hard to remember sometimes.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 22 March | 13:50

SJP is a perfect example of what I call "carriage", how one presents oneself to the world. For example, I know one rather overweight woman of average face who is absolutely stunning because she dresses tastefully, she uses makeup to her advantage, and she always seems happy and displays such an upbeat, positive attitude.

So many times I have met people, both men and women, who would be quite attractive if they would have just spent a little time in front of a mirror and at a laundromat. That militant "accept me for who I am" attitude does not change the stains on a too-often worn shirt and the fact that "greasy hair in a bun" still looks like "greasy hair".

posted by mischief 22 March | 13:51

SJP is hideous in every way.

Especially her hands.

posted by eamondaly 22 March | 14:06

attitude does not change the stains on a too-often worn shirt

dude, those stains have sentimental value.

posted by jonmc 22 March | 14:11

Yeah but jon, you're exceptional. heheh

posted by mischief 22 March | 15:59

SJP, Aniston, Thurman and Roberts are all on my "attractive but not especially pretty" list.

I would add Gwyneth Paltrow if it were my personal list (which it pretty nuch is, actually).

posted by initapplette 22 March | 16:25

I'm with chrismear: first thing that comes to mind is horse-faced. Though really, she's not as elegantly proportioned as a horse. Just your everyday homely lady, and when gals say she's beautiful it makes me wonder why they can't realize that they're (generally) way hotter than she is.

posted by kyleg 22 March | 16:31

Agreed on Paltrow.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 22 March | 16:32

Everyone has said how I feel about her - I've seen her look very attractive (not quite beautiful) and I've seen her look awful. (That hand picture, eamondaly, is truly scary) I do wonder about her marriage. The rare times I've seen her and Matthew together, he seems like a bumbling fool, while she is seamless with the papparozzi.

posted by redvixen 22 March | 20:12

I don't find SJP beautiful, but I'll take an interesting looking woman over a generic blandly pretty one any day.

Actors who I find stunning? (and this is my perception of their personalities coming out too Halle Berry definitely. Helen Mirren, Kate Winslet and Nicole Kidman pre-all the Botox.

posted by gaspode 22 March | 21:16

As much as I love 'em both, I gotta throw Reese Witherspoon and Renee Zellweger into this pot as well. Legally Blond and Nurse Betty are two of my favorite comedies.

posted by mischief 22 March | 21:19

With or without makeup, I think Halle Berry is lovely.

posted by FlamingBore 22 March | 22:42

Sarah Jessica Parker was totally cute as SanDeE* in L.A. Story.

I could never understand why guys went mad for Uma Thurman

Va-va-vooma Thurman! She had a hell of an entrance. ≡ Click to see image ≡

posted by kirkaracha 23 March | 14:16

She had a hell of an entrance
She's been topless in a few films, but I don't think she's ever shown her entrance.

posted by TheDonF 23 March | 14:23

22 March 2007