My parents live in a townhouse, so I had to run around the entire block to get to the front door; luckily, I had a key in my pocket. But by the time I reached my parents' house, Akebono and his entourage were gone. I asked my mother what happened, and she said he was very nice, she even hugged him. I had a mental image of my mom stretching her arms around his belly, and thought she was sweet. "But why did he leave?" I asked.

"Well, when we got back inside, I offered everybody a soda, and when I opened the refrigerator, Akebono seemed embarrassed. I got all this extra food because I know he has a healthy appetite, but he seemed to think we didn't have enough food to feed him and ourselves, and he was very embarrassed, but polite, and he made his apologies and left very quickly."

I felt pretty disappointed that I didn't get a chance to see Akebono, and a little jealous that my parents did, and I was standing there in the snow in my socks when my next-door neighbor, Tom Petty, drove up, with a couple of his music-industry cronies. We greeted each other, and Tom had a peculiar handshake, left handed and limp, with his palm horizontal to the ground. One of the industry dudes shook just like Tom, but the third, who might have been Dave Navarro, shook normally, with his right hand, and said, "Now there's a man's handshake."

I turned to Tom and, like a fourteen year-old kid, started rattling off about Akebono's visit, and how he just missed him, and how actually I just missed him, too. He looked me straight in the eye and said, "Kid, I got a problem, too." He gestured to the guys he was with and started singing, "My friends think that I've gone crazy. She can't figure out that she ain't my baby."

I woke up with "What Are You Doin' In My Life" from Damn the Torpedoes running through my head.

Ack! Akebono coming to my house would scare the crap outta me. I'd much rather meet Chiyonofuji, although from what I've read he's quite a formidable chap as well.