why does it have to be a woman?

I almost want to respond just to fuck with his head.

You too can pay $300 / month to sleep in a bed with a beardy, bubble-blowing guy!

From: Olena Swyripa [heathermillsfan@gmail.com]
To: hous-295777791
Subj: It is about the CraigsList house!

Hi you!! My name is Olena and I am your ad from the Craigs List!! (It is pronounced like "Olena". This is a parentheses.)

:) I can pay you the $300 money. Yes!! :) :)

I am very happy that you write me today!!! I am in Portland Oregonian for 18 months now from Ukraine. It is very pretty much in Portland and I love it!!! LOL!!! I am sorry however that in last November I am in an accident with a large Truck. It is hurt my leg! They took it off the leg and now I am only one leg! But it is OK. LOL!!!

Now I am like Heather Mills! Do you know for Heather Mills? She is my favorite and she is marry a BEATLE! I believe she is very pretty much! Were you see her on Dancing for the Stars?? It was beautiful!

But anyway! On here is my story. LOL.

I am in Portland Oregonian for 18 months now. After the Truck (U-HAUL) I loose my job. I am do Massage. But after the Truck I am not able to stand at the Massage Table and do the Massage on people. So I loose my job until when I have another leg. When I loose my job I can no more live in my flat. It make me very sad. But it is OK! LOL! :) :)

Now I am need another house to live in until I have another leg. (It is the Left Leg.) I am still do Massage for a few customers in there houses, so I can now pay you the $300 money. I will not steal you things and I can cook the food from Ukraine and it is GOOD!!!

But there is one more thing!!!

I am OK for the sleep next to you. BUT! I have a husband in Ukraine so there can not be the Sex!!! OK?? Also, he can not know it. My husband! So when he call me on the telephone you can not tell him!! You can not speak because then he will know it. OK??? When he call me you must be very quite, or you must make a noise like a dog. He is okay if it is a dog, but NOT A MAN!!! You can not make a noise like a cat because I am allergy to the cats and he will know. You must be a dog or you must be quite. OK??? I thank you for it!! It is just that he get very angry sometimes. But he is good man. He is in the Army and he has two legs still.

I can also give you the Massage if it is on the floor. But I can not stand at the table!

I am put a picture in here because you ask me for it. I am also put in a picture of Heather Mills. Is she pretty??? Yes!

What is your name!! For how many months am I live with you??

This was Olena!! LOL :) !!!

Now you answer and I wait!

He got his start in the sex industry almost by accident when a girlfriend asked him to give her a ride to a "date". Having not known his friend was escorting, she came out with 300 bucks and told him he could do the same thing. Well he took her up on it and was one of the most popular male escorts in San Francisco from 1994-2001. After getting burned out on the scene he decided to do some traveling and came to Portland,Oregon in the summer of 2002. He put together Oregon Tweakin And Freakin Swingers and watched it grow into the biggest and most popular yahoo group for swingers in the Pacific NorthWest.

I have played in bands for the last 25 years and recorded 14 albums. My short and sweet acting career started in 1983 as an extra for the Krokus MTV video "Screaming In The Night". From 1992-1996 I was a Dj in radio for College of San Mateo in San Mateo, California and Foothill College in Los Altos Hills, California. I then went on to intern for the Howard Stern show in New York City, helping on the set of his movie "Private Parts". Later In 1998 I came back to the the Bay Area and became a successful escort with my then fiance Erica Hyde making a couple adult films and dabbling in the adult film entertainment industry. In 1999-2001 I was an extra many times in "Nash Bridges" with Don Johnson and Cheech Marin always playing the gangster or the thug. After a 10 year hiatus I have returned to my roots and started my solo band. I have since gone insane from all the drugs and alcohol over the years and now live happily ever after in the Portland, Oregon Metro Area.

I'm looking for a woman who just needs a place to stay for a couple months to get on their feet or find a place of their own. I have a huge 800 square foot, one bedroom apartment with a large balcony, phone, internet, full cable tv with a home theater system with DVD/VCR and a ton of movies. Now here's the catch. And you must have an open mind on this one. Its only a 1 bedroom so you will have to share it with me. I'm not a weirdo so if you don't mind sleeping next to me then everything will be fine. I'd say you could crash on the couch but I have a guest who is already doing that for a few weeks then will be leaving. There's also a gym, sauna, and pool table in the recreation room. I'm at a great location on the corner of NE Minnehaha St and Hwy 99. You must be a clean person who I can trust alone in my home, as I have a lot of posessions. Be honest and employed. No deposit or fees. Just If I like you, then your in, get a key, and move in that day! You should also not bring much things other than the basics because my place is already full. Remember this is only for a couple months unless things go great. Please send a pic with your response so I know who I'm talking to. Please serious replies only. Call Billy at 360-750-3862 or email back and I will respond quickly.