MetaChat - I am both

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16 March 2007

I am both an idiot and a pathetic addict.→[More:]This morning I went out and bought a six-pack of Bud tallboys, a big bottle of Smirnoff Ice and two packs of Camel Lights. About an hour ago, Pips was napping, and it's garbage night so I got the trash together and took it down. A few minutes later, I went to have a cigarette and realized that when I cleaned all the empty cigarette packs off the desk, I must've thrown the full one in, too. Auuugh. What could I do? I got dressed and at quarter to midnight I trudged out in the sleet and cold to the corner store and bought a fresh pack. Aside from the inconvenience, it breaks my heart to see a pack of smokes got to waste like that. They died so young.

post by: jonmc at: 22:50 | 21 comments

If it makes you feel better, you're not alone. I've had an empty and full pack in my pockets until I could get to a trash can... find a can, get home, and find myself with just an empty pack. Ouch. (the worst was when it was my "last five dollars until I cash my check tomorrow at lunchtime" smokes.)

posted by kellydamnit 16 March | 22:56

and that's when you hope you left a few long butts in the ashtray.

(I've also purchased a packof smokes at a Mobil Station by the highway and once I got home realized that I left them on the counter of the store.

posted by jonmc 16 March | 22:59

posted by CitrusFreak12 16 March | 23:01

Some alkie looking to drain the last few drops from beer cans will probably find them, and you will have made his entire weekend.

posted by mischief 16 March | 23:02

At least you didn't forget your keys when you went to dump the garbage....

posted by Zack_Replica 16 March | 23:26

I have smoked 5 month old Virgina slims rather than walk the block to the bodega. I'm with you brother.

posted by Divine_Wino 17 March | 00:12

Break free, brother Jon, break free of those nicotine bands that bind you.

I won't horrify you with tales of what a younger and far brasher fenriq used to do to friends who left their cigarettes out within my reach.

posted by fenriq 17 March | 00:20

Somebody has to keep the tobacco farmers afloat, dude.

posted by jonmc 17 March | 00:26

Are you off the wagon, Wino?

posted by ethylene 17 March | 00:30

That sounds like an Irish folk song, eth

posted by jonmc 17 March | 00:32

I've been on and off the wagon so many times this year that I feel like a pioneer with the trots.

posted by Divine_Wino 17 March | 00:38

For a quick fix, soak the butts in bourbon, strain, and drink. Better than the patch.

posted by Pips 17 March | 00:43

i had a couple earlier for the first time in forever. i think they helped me kickstart into a workable groove but i'll abstain now if you need one. Then at least the balance with remain the same.
Now i'll try and flesh out the Irish Wino song.
i wonder if i have my fife and lucky charms, because i don't have a decent guitar or the means to use it right now.

posted by ethylene 17 March | 00:46

I don't smoke but I am enough of an idiot.

I realized yesterday I left my $300 sunglasses on the shelf behind the toilet at Narita airport the other day. Why I had my sunglasses on my shirt during a 20 hour flight is beyond me. Oh that's right. I'm an idiot.

I've also cleaned the house and thrown out the cable box remote. Twice.

I'm that guy that drives off with the coffee of soda on the roof of my car.

I've put my car keys in the freezer many times. Now its the first place I look when I can't find my keys.

I've put bananas in the freezer and left the popsicles out on the counter.

I really shouldn't leave the house.

posted by birdherder 17 March | 01:06

One day when you're rooting through someone's trash for a can or a bottle that has maybe a half a mouthful of booze in it you'll come across a full pack of Camels that someone threw out by mistake and the balance of karma will be restored.

posted by essexjan 17 March | 02:47

jon, I completely sympathize. You're not too pathetic, however, at least you had the class to buy a new pack. I would have dug through the trash for the smokes.

posted by hojoki 17 March | 04:21

I second hojoki. Nice plot twist, jon. You caught me by surprise.

To support my addiction, I regularly stash spare packs in various coats, amid the litter of my scholarly activities and other such locations. elizard and zack-replica can testify to sheer volume of chaotic space I have available for such clandestine storage activities. Needless to say, when I run out I can never find them.

A friend says he has never bought a carton of smokes - he didn't think he'd smoke them all. This has been going on for decades.

posted by warbaby 17 March | 09:15

I've lost smokes before too, I hate that.

*empathy*

posted by getoffmylawn 17 March | 10:14

Thank you for reminding me of how glad I am I quit smoking 5 years ago today.

posted by terrapin 17 March | 11:45

Ugh, don't even get me started on walking to the bodega. Someone was STABBED in front of mine, right in the doorway, on Wednesday. I've been going to the more expensive place by work just to avoid it ever since then.
Scary.

posted by kellydamnit 17 March | 12:03

My own personal hypothesis is that tobacco addiction is a leading cause of drunk driving. Think about it, when you have tied on a pretty good buzz and you run out of cigarettes..., well, you know your own inner demons.

posted by mischief 17 March | 16:15

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