*you post this on MetaChat
*you are me

*you read the list all the way through, expecting something at the end to justify the existence of the list
*you're me
*you think it's a good idea to shoot up cars with bb/pellet gun

At the bottom of the application where it says "Sign Here" you put
"Sagittarius."

Especially since I was born in February!

*you think there are no solar flashlights.
*you're me

*you forget everything
*you don't know what day it is
*you ask people if they were speaking to you. "I'm sorry. I'm out to lunch, were you speaking to me?"
*you forget to buy shin guards for soccer until the last minute. Act panicked and surprised when there are none left. Half of the county is on the soccer field.
*you rear-end an anthesiologist in his brand new truck while reading a cookbook behind the wheel. (I was still young and foolish. I forgive myself, mostly.)
*you get mysteriously turned-off during sex, and then feel dumb and stupid and guilty and try to make up for it. But it's too late and idiotic.
*you share too much information

* you take 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

In that case, I'm a fucking moron.