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because you spend too much time on the Internet and not enough at your local independent bookstore where the nice people working there would have advised you to check out Hempel's outstanding work?
having said that, Palahniuk is not that bad, not his older stuff at least. and, unlike other hacks, he takes writing seriously, good for him.
Burroughs is a Hempel fan, too. Don't know what that has to do with the Chuck factor, but I find it possibly related. I do say read everything, because she is not a prolific writer - the collected stories out this year is a slim volume. And yes, "underwritten" would be the way to describle her stuff.
I will put Lorrie Moore on my list, never heard of her.