I'm back home, sad, miserable, disgusted with myself and all the crap "baggage" that I thought I'd dealt with.

I faltered at the altar. I got physically (and extremely) ill when it came down to being his wife. I'll need to do a lot of work to return to be with him NOT as a wife. On a postive note, my dansk is much improved, and I feel like I can get where I want to be... eventually.

....... stayed in DK for quite a while afterwards; he didn't stop loving me. I still want to be with him. He's a wonderful guy, and I hope to deserve him someday soon.

Long story, but the upshot is: I'm back and hope to catch up with the MeCha vibe.

The "anti-honeymoon" was awesome.

:)

oh man, that sucks. Sorry reflecked! Still there's always a reason for things. I believe firmly that people always do the best they can given their particular circumstances. So- don't beat up on yourself. And welcome back!

I love the idea of an anti-honeymoon!

Sorry things went so badly. It sounds like both of you are more or less ok with each other, though? So that's good.

reflecked, I'm sorry to hear that. Like s_r said, it sounds like you're doing the best you can given your circumstances, and you're committed to working on whatever issues you face.

Boo, but also hooray, for deciding to work through what needs to be worked through.

That sounds like a gut reaction you couldn't ignore. I hope you haven't had too difficult a time.

reflecked, that sounds like one rough ride overall. Don't blame yourself though, you decided you needed more time to think it through and that's good for you. Only you can decide what is good for you and what you want. Deserve yourself firstly.
] I know I'm stating the obvious, but will mention it anyways [
I wish you support for the road ahead.

Thanks MeCha friends. I do have stuff to work through.. work harder through, I mean. I knew there were monsters in my head about marriage, and actually did 6 months of counselling before leaving. He'll have me, wife or no, and that fills my heart with joy.

There's a big difference in how a person goes to live in another country when it's not with family/spouse. I'm working on my danish, learning to read well enough to understand the science texts. I can't practice as an RN in Denmark unless I'm functionally literate in the language.

We're back to long-distance love. My opinions about cybersex may get revised. :)

My heart isn't broken: my self-esteem is seriously bent, though. I also believe that.. as small_ruminant said: that people do the best they can, in the circumstances they find themselves in. The trick is to find a place in my mind where I can give myself the slack I assume others deserve.

It feels oddly embarrassingly like failure, though I know that's not really true. I need to get over myself. :)

In the meantime... anything exciting happen here in the last 7 months? hehe

I know this must be an extremely difficult and tangled situation, but it sounds like both of you care about each other very much and have the love and determination to work through it. Don't be too hard on yourself; you had to acknowledge your feelings, and in my opinion, that's always a good thing.

On preview: it sounds like you're doing really well! Blessings on ya.

He'll have me, wife or no, and that fills my heart with joy.

You saying this fills my heart with joy. Good luck and welcome back!

I'm sure you did the right thing for the right reasons at the right time. You'll get it worked out one way or t'other.

Welcome back!

Hey. You went to Denmark and came back with a great story.

You know, later. When you're able to laugh about it.

Very happy to see you, reflecked!

Marriage is a very big thing, moving to a foreign country is a very big thing... Losing your professional standing, feeling like you're talking like a caveman when you attempt to speak the language, the sense that everything is off-kilter (which lasts longer than one expects it to) - Wow. There are not a lot of people who can handle that effortlessly. I certainly haven't. Please don't be so hard on yourself, and remember that sometimes it's much, much better to take the long way around - you don't get there as quickly, but you see and learn a lot more along the way. Take your time, bunny.

You're really brave to tell the story here, and I'm glad to see you back on MeCha!

Thanks again, you bunch.

Taz is wise, as usual.. no changes there. :)

NOT brave, here. Not all the time. More in touch with my imperfect nature than I'd like, though.