You don't get it back.

Sad, but true. As much as I miss my first edition of American Gods, I'm never seeing it again. And so it goes. You just hope that the book is being appreciated, wherever it is now.

Bookplates are awesome. I cherish the books my grandpa gave me that have his handwriting and bookplates in them.

You can get the book back. Ask her for the book. If she refuses, go ninja librarian. Get the book back.

Note: Cost may include the loss of SO. But book thieves - like horse thieves or bike thieves - should be hung.

Your SO is happy being friends with a book thief!? And is telling you to let it go?!?!

*head asplodes*

It's worth officially ruining a friendship in order to get a book back. After all, a person not giving the book back is performing a hostile act. E-mail or call, and ask for the book back, now. What do you have to lose?

I have those same bookplates, had them for years, but I've never used them.

He says let it go

Easy for him to say. The book means something to you - go get it back! I hate the way casual book theft is always brushed off as something not worth caring about. These are books we're talking about!

Sad, but true. As much as I miss my first edition of American Gods, I'm never seeing it again.

Mine went to Prague and never came back.

One foolproof way I've found to get 'borrowed' books back is to say "hey, are you finished with my copy of [book]? Someone else wants to borrow it".

Elsewise, could you tell her that that particular copy has great sentimental value to you, and offer to get her a different copy? If that doesn't shame her in to giving it back, nothing will.

Now I know what the heck a bookplate is.

If things are hostile between you and the ex-roommate, but she's one of your SO's best friends, why don't you ask him to play the middleman and get it back for you?

Yeah, she and I don't get along well. Which is why she moved out of the apartment a year ago. My SO won't play middleman because he's non-confrontational and owns maybe 15 books that aren't computer/networking/security related. So he doesn't get the signifigance of her taking my book.

Even though it means going back to her apartment with a big purse, I will get my book back. It's just too bad that they smoke in the house - so no one goes outside for anything... I'll just have to be extra sneaky.

No Pouting Allowed./

Take the direct approach.

"I'm calling to ask if you've mistakenly taken my precioussss book I received from Grandma.
I noticed it missing after you moved out. Can I come by now and pick it up¿
I'd be so grateful."

Nail down a specific time and date to pick it up. Allow no stalling tactics. It has dragged out long enough and causing you some consternation. Which you may mention.


Who cares about your past history with ex roommate or how difficult they are, etc. etc.
Stop making excuses for them.

It's what belongs to you and it's what you want back.

It's all about you, and what you want, not the other party.

Third party intervention with Ninja's after the direct approach doesn't work.

Are we cool with that then¿

Good Luck. You want it back and badly. Good enough reason.Onward Ho./ into the fray.

Bookplates are pretty, but I doubt they'd prevent people from pilfering your books.
You may be able to shame the former roommate into giving you the book back. Besides, who knows, maybe she took it by accident.

Bookplates may not actually stop someone from taking my books - if they want it bad enough, they'll find a way. But at least if I saw it on their bookcase I could pick it up, open it to the plate with my name on it and say, "See, it is mine!"

Bookplates are pretty, but I doubt they'd prevent people from pilfering your books.

It's the old "a locked door only keeps an honest man out" problem. Anyone crass enough to not return a lent book is certainly crass enough to ignore a bookplate. Perhaps GPS beacons in the spine? (of the book, not the ex-roomie)

Honestly, though, I only lend books I am willing to lose. It's a shame, but most people (whether intentionally or not) do not return books.