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18 December 2006
My mother in law got me parenting books for my birthday. Like six of them. Specifically on parenting "difficult" children. →[More:] I think she's starting to slip up on the "passive" part of passive-aggressive.
Guilt and shame on "disturbing the baby" isn't enough? Is she made of self obsessed stone?
If she's breached half a century, she should be weepy enough--
when are you due, if it's not prying...
March 9 is the scheduled extraction. Third trimester hormones are rough. In fact, I think they can be used as a criminal defense. Or at least as a reason to scream "I hate you and mudpuppie does too!" at Christmas dinner.
No reason to feel dumb, 'pode. It's a fairly obscure reference and I actually screwed it up. It should be 2R. (I still think "There's a whore in 4R!" sounds better.)
This is baby #2, matildaben. Number one is the "difficult" one. It's actually kind of awesome how she managed to slag on me and my kid with one act of "generosity." Her child is "the golden boy" who married down, bunnyfire. There's no way it's directed at him.
And Janice Rossi was Henry Hill's mistress in Goodfellas. There's a great scene where his wife goes to her apt. building, hits all the intercom buzzers and announces that there is a "whore" living in apt.4R. Hence, jrossi4r.(Only it's really 2R, so my name is wrong.)
jrossi, for some reason I often get you and mgl confused (I think probably because you both sound like kick-ass moms), and I've somehow decided that each of you have four children. I guess I added up all the offspring, including the wannabe-offspring? Or maybe it's the 4 in your username? I dunno.
So when I read this post I was thinking, "Well, she's got four kids, so what if *one* of them is a little difficult? Give the poor woman a break." Heh.
It is an honor to be mistaken for MGL! (And I officially turn 35 on Thursday. So thank you for the advance b-day wishes.)
Thanks to all of you. To be honest, I'm genuinely deeply hurt by this, have no idea how to address it and haven't been able to stop crying long enough to give it any rational thought. But you've cheered me up and a warm bath helped calm me down and I think I might actually get some sleep. I'll worry about it tomorrow.
For reals, jrossi? She's nasty, mean and spiteful, and she cares more for dissing you than she cares about her son or grandchild (or grandchild-to-be) - and that's a miserable, miserable person.
Your only mistake is holding out some hope that things will ever change, and trying to accommodate that possibility. It's been - what? - 13 years? That's long enough. It's never going to happen. My advice is to keep your exposure to her to an absolute minimum - once, maybe twice a year, max. (For me, it would be less, but - you know, whatever.) Use whatever reason or excuse you need to use, even if it's outlandish. It doesn't matter. If your husband doesn't get it, just explain that this is one thing that just has to be, and you aren't budging.
It's just not for the best to leave yourself exposed to someone who repeatedly, obsessively attacks you. Just because they are only psychic stabbings doesn't mean they aren't damaging; Give up the hope and be happy.
Aw, jrossi, I didn't get your username either, for the record.
But DAMN, what an awful thing for the MIL to do. My mom tries similar crap on me sometimes, and I was an only child who stayed out of her antisocial way when I was little. I have a pair of kids with half-siblings in another state and she tries to tell me to be more strict with my two gifted/talented, well-behaved ("angelic", even, I'm told by teachers, friends, family, future in-laws, strangers, etc), that I should be harder on them.
Believe me, I'm not an easy-going mom. Loving discipline is my way to go. My kids know they're loved. They also know not to give me any crap, especially in public.
Anyhow, I've told my mom in polite terms to F-off before. We didn't speak for about a month and then she apologized.
Holiday times are a challenge, regardless. Hange in there. And best wishes for when you get that "demon" out of you in March. :-) I didn't enjoy being pregnant either and my boy was born March 31 after a near Herculean effort for him to not be an April Fools kid.
Also, a half glass of wine won't hurt either of you, I swear on me and my former midwives' graves.
(Sorry for the rant, y'all. Several nerves got pinged there.)
jrossi, I totally don't care that I missed the joke about your username.
I want to kick your MIL's ass, because you're one of the best moms I know. I love the way you talk about your kid, how smart she is, how much she surprises you.
Please stop crying. Your MIL is just a sad old soul. She's not worth your reaction to the pain she's tried to cause you.
JRossi...love your name & your sensitive pregnant self. the best revenge is to smile sweetly and say "thank you for the books." better for her to think you are stupid & didn't get her slam then her think her hatefulness got to you. i might be crazy (no...i AM crazy...but oh well) but with my former mother-in-law, i would smile & nod & bask in the glow of her disappointment over not getting my goat...mwhahahahaha...
i too have a "difficult" first child...but, the older she gets the more i love her more for doing it her own way. she might not be the easiest child, but i love that she takes the path of Most resistance :P
Taz is the BEST. Listen to her & then send your MIL an anonymous box of poisoned chocolate. Fucking bitch from hell. Psychotic demon spawn. Fuck her, the horse she rode in on, her goddamn nerve, her bookstore account and everything else. May her shoes all shrink in the night. May her souffles fall and her hairline rise. I hope she gains 400 pounds, grows hairy warts on her chin and gets mocked in the street. YOU are AWESOME. SHE is SHIT. Keep this equation in mind, for it is true.
I had a psychotic MIL once myself hon. Taz is right; the only answer is to severely limit contact, remember that she's a useless POS and try to maintain your cool. My ex-MIL, fwiw, was a klepto, and she took my daughter out to steal stuff. Entertaining times!
*laughs at occhiblu* If I had 4 kids, I'd be even more freaking insane than I am. 2 kids and 2 dogs: it is enough, although I am honored to be confused with jrossi4r (whose username completely escaped me.)
You know, it's often a relief when I do remember that mgl and jrossi are different people, because I seriously am not sure the world is ready for the awesomeness that would be myjrossilaundry.
Thanks again you guys. I'm feeling much better today. My best friend broke into hysterical laughter when I told her (it IS so awful you have to laugh) and my sister thinks I may be eligible for some kind of government relocation program.
My kid's not even difficult! She's odd, for sure--smart, geeky and tomboyish. And she despises being talked down to. But I like those things about her.
Anyway...I'm going my usual non-reactive route, as karim suggests. It's really my only option. She looooves to play the martyr and will burst into tears at the slightest suggestion of disapproval. I'm not giving her the satisfaction. As Jimmy tells Henry after his first pinch, "Never rat on your friends and always keep your mouth shut." Sound advice.
I feel all safe and happy knowing that the MeCha outrage and hilarity team will spring into action as soon as people's relatives pull this kind of thing.
Congratulations, everyone, and merry Christmas, jrossi.
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