I smooshed my finger!
Ow, ow, ow! →
[More:]I was scooting my chair under the table at the local Thai joint down the street, when the seat cushion separated from the chair and smooshed my finger in between. There was broken fingernail, blood, under-nail bruise, and the lovely employees brought me bandaids and a bag of ice - and then didn't charge me for my dinner and a bottle of Singha. [Sorry, you're not getting pictures.]