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03 December 2006

A tongue, a metal pole, a hard lesson [More:]

That was the top story in yesterday's edition of my town's newspaper. It's the dumbest, and most intentionally hilarious title I think I've ever seen.

A tongue, a metal pole, a hard lesson: an inside look at the metal sex toy industry

A tongue, a metal pole, a hard lesson: the life and death of Sally Drummage, Robot Lover
here. SFW, I think.
posted by Five Fresh Fish 03 December | 21:38
A Tongue, A Metal Pole, A Hard Lesson: The Spread of STDs in the Striptease Industry.
posted by Five Fresh Fish 03 December | 21:40
A Tongue, A Mental Pole, A Hard Lesson: Franciszek Ksawery's Strange Vow of Silence.
posted by Five Fresh Fish 03 December | 21:43
A Toque, A Metal Pole, A Hard Lesson: The Invention of the Hockey Helmet.
posted by Five Fresh Fish 03 December | 21:44
I totally meant to put "most UNintentionally hilarious title"...

Fish's are intentionally hilarious though.
posted by bjork24 03 December | 21:53
I always thought that was a joke, or an old wives' tale. I'm am simultaneously amazed and disappointed that this actually happens.
posted by Eideteker 03 December | 22:00
Oh, it's for real alright. But if you're going to try it out, don't do it on the chairlift, mkay?
posted by Triode 03 December | 22:03
That kid whose tongue got stuck to a pole in A Christmas Story apparently had it stuck to other things in his later films.
(Old MetaFilter thread.)
posted by kirkaracha 03 December | 22:24
A tongue, a brass pole and a hard lesson: encounters with strip bar bouncers.
posted by clevershark 03 December | 22:27
I always thought that was a joke, or an old wives' tale. I'm am simultaneously amazed and disappointed that this actually happens.

Am I the ONLY ONE who's actually done this?

I thought everyone had done it. I instantly knew what the title referred to. I did it in 7th grade, on the school flagpole, and it wasn't even a double dog dare...just curiosity. My tongue instantly bonded to the metal and I was able to react quickly enough to pull it off...thank God.
posted by Miko 03 December | 22:36
It's just you, Miko.
posted by dg 03 December | 22:40
I was gonna say, hasn't that kid watched A Christmas Story?
posted by sisterhavana 03 December | 23:37
It's not just Miko. I did it once...when I was about 6...on a metal bar in our freezer...

Am I the only one to think of just breathing on the point at which your tongue is stuck? I was able to set myself free.
posted by youngergirl44 03 December | 23:40
FFF, thanks for the spew of nostril wine now splayed across my screen. Well done.
posted by moonbird 04 December | 00:20
A well-picked nostril wine is indeed a pleasure. I hear it should be drunk green, rather than aged.

I licked the propane tank at school. I do not know why. The heat capacity of 2000lb tank of propane is rather larger than the heat capacity of a grade three child's tongue.

Margaret, sweet Margaret, several years older than I, was an angel of mercy and stayed with me as the recess playground emptied at in-bell as I worked up the courage to pull off the tank, then took me into the washroom to dab at my tongue with tissues.
posted by Five Fresh Fish 04 December | 00:33
mmmm, nostril wine.

Remember, if you want red instead of white, you have to punch the sommelier in the nose. Have your glass ready.
posted by trondant 04 December | 10:15
So when and where do I confess I've never even heard of A Christmas Story except on the internet (and that only a very few years ago)?
posted by Eideteker 04 December | 10:48
I did it too, my older wiser and tad sadistic brother said that the freezer bars tasted nice. Arse.
posted by dabitch 04 December | 11:19
"My wife and I were shoveling our driveway, and as I walked back into the house my wife, Kay, yelled, 'I think there's a kid stuck to a pole,'" said Paul K. Logsdon. "She said, 'A neighbor's going to get water — you go get the camera.'"

Priceless.
posted by mudpuppie 04 December | 14:16
Daddy's back home. || I had a mixed weekend ...

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