You may have a hot girlfriend if... →[More:] The two of us went to the local Asian market to do some grocery shopping. Me: scruffy from going unshaved for the better part of a week, bags under my eyes from going on Day 2 without sleep, and wearing a shapeless gray sweatshirt. Her: bright red jacket, cute white scarf. reddish-blonde hair. The cashier who rang us up takes one look at the two of us standing together and stops. She asks me if I speak Chinese, then tells me in Chinese: "Is she your girlfriend? She's so pretty!" Then she turns to tell her in English: "Boo-tiful!" The cashier next aisle over hears this, and also turn around to examine said girlfriend. I mentioned that I haven't taken her to meet my parents yet, and they exclaimed "oh, they'll have so much fun meeting her!"

Note to self: buy her a burqa for Christmas to avoid future public embarassment on my part from looking so bad standing next to her.