MetaChat - Menstrual Marketing Madness

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01 December 2006

Menstrual Marketing Madness Warning: squick factor.→[More:]

Say you are a menstruating office worker who's feminine protection product of choice for the day is pads. You do a manoever that you hope nobody sees involving slipping the new pad from your purse into your pants so you don't have everyone staring at you carrying your purse into the bathroom.

You go into the bathroom, sit down and pee. If there is anyone else in the bathroom, they hear you rip the used product out of your ratty underwear.

So you are - this is important to understand - sitting down gooshing blood into a toilet bowl.

You open the new product (more sounds), place it on your undies, and then, you remove the protective paper from the stickumy wing thingies.

Now, in a genious marketing move, this protective paper is printed with a message:

Have a great period.
Bonne et heureuse semaine.

To wich I say. . .W. . .T. . .F?!?!?!?

No YOU have a great period, Proctor & Gamble or Smith/Kline/Whatever, you fucktards!

And what's with the French? The French are sterotypically classy but also unhygenic and that's a pretty lengthy phrase. . .the HELL?!?!?

post by: rainbaby at: 20:05 | 20 comments

I hate pads. I can't believe people still use them, except in cases where they are physically incapable of using tampons/menstrual cups (yeast infection, just gave birth, etc).

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 01 December | 20:22

I agree that the cheerful wish is offensive. They might as well just say "Enjoy the next week of discomfort and unpleasantness and cramps and a big fucking mess! Come back and see us next month!"

posted by mudpuppie 01 December | 20:24

The French are sterotypically classy but also unhygenic

They don't use pads? What do they use ...croissants?

I would never try to hide a pad and scurry to the bathroom. It's much more fun to brandish your feminine gear proudly and watch people squirm and avert their eyes.

Wouldn't it be funny if the protective paper said "EAT AT JOE'S" on it? Or if it was a redeemable coupon for money off at a posh store. Imagine handing them the coupon...hee.

posted by iconomy 01 December | 20:31

Jeepers, TPS. I've already overshared in the name of bringing attention to this crazy marketing ploy, so I'm not going to explain or defend my choices, but for the record, there's nothing physically WRONG with me!

posted by rainbaby 01 December | 20:35

Oh, iconomy, don't give advertisers any ideas!!! ;^)

posted by redvixen 01 December | 20:35

Oh, I didn't figure there was, rainbaby- I know plenty of people who use pads. And I find it baffling.

Although they are a lot better than they used to be. ::old lady voice:: When I was young... they were like phone books. Bleech.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 01 December | 20:46

::old lady voice:: When I was young... they were like phone books. Bleech.

Yeah, TPS, it used to be like wearing Pampers. Christ, they were nasty. And with this horrid, horrid elasticated belt that hooked through the loops too. No adhesive pads in those days.

Ugh!

posted by essexjan 01 December | 21:03

There was this woman who used to be part of Esther's Follies in Austin -- a comedy skit troupe. She's dead now. But anyway, she did this bit about Aunt Edith's Craft Hour, or something like that. Basically, she made all sorts of crafts out of feminine hygeine products. One she did was a flak jacket made out of maxi pads.

It was freaking' hilarious. I wish I could remember more of it. The funniest bit was when she told the men not to laugh, because they had no idea what it was like to walk around in the summer with [maxi-pads -- I can't for the life of me remember the comparison she made] in their underwear.

posted by mudpuppie 01 December | 21:07

You didn't tell us your brand, rainbaby (and I'm not asking!), but at least one large feminine products company (Fempro) is based in Quebec, where both French and English labels are mandatory.

Have a great period? That's so bizarre, like saying, "Have a great root canal!"

posted by initapplette 01 December | 21:20

posted by Wedge 01 December | 22:21

Please enjoy getting kicked in the balls!

posted by matildaben 02 December | 00:17

I use the same brand. The messages leave me feeling nice and murderous.

posted by casarkos 02 December | 01:04

Haven't y'all seen the commercials that say "Have a happy period!" all perky and shit. Argh. I think it's Kotex.

TPS, I use mostly use pads supplementing with tampons for sleeping and showering. On a heavy day I can easily go through a tampon in a half an hour. On light days I could probably be okay with just a tampon but I'm sure I'd end up with more stained panties than I care to.

Believe me, I'm envious of women who can get away with just a tampon. Me, I sometimes wonder how well those adult diapers would work for a period.

And now y'all know way more about my periods than anyone needs/wants to know.

posted by deborah 02 December | 02:01

The toilet paper in our office bears the message "Love Your Bum" on the packet.

posted by essexjan 02 December | 04:05

yeah the happy period is kotex. DIE KOTEX, DIE!

Pads are so much better these days, we had dismal choices of phonebook-style rubbish when it started for me. God bless o.b. without the insert-widget, has made my life simple and discreet.

posted by dabitch 02 December | 07:28

You know, it was almost worth having to deal with those phonebooks just for the pleasure of now hearing them described that way. Phonebooks! I can't stop giggling.

posted by tangerine 02 December | 14:43

I actually like having a menstrual cycle.

posted by Specklet 02 December | 14:55

"Sometimes I get the menstrual cramps, real hard..."

posted by jonmc 02 December | 15:28

possibly the correct printing on the protective paper peely-off thing should say:

"imagine the alternative"

posted by karim satasha 04 December | 08:49

possibly the correct printing on the protective paper peely-off thing should say:

"imagine the alternative"

posted by karim satasha 04 December | 08:52

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