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28 November 2006

According to an article in The Times today... →[More:]I am officially a Grumpy Old Woman. They had a quiz to determine Grump Old Womanity.

- Have you ever made a complaint to the council?

- Do you read the Lakeland catalogue before you go to sleep and tick the things you want, such as the banana guard, the gravy separator or the sock drawer tidier?

- Are your pants the largest on the washing line?

- Is your bra size right up in the telephone numbers?

- Have you recently heard a Barry Manilow track that you quite like?

- Your idea of a multiple orgasm is getting a full refund and an apology from the manager?

- Do have an idea that women’s lavatories are getting smaller?

- You’ve bought yourself a bird table.

- Are you inexplicably attracted by craft shops?

So far I have resisted the allure of craft shops (no artistic talent or the patience for it anyway) but sadly tick all the other boxes. In fact, I was reading the Betterware catalogue in bed last night.

post by: essexjan at: 03:17 | 12 comments

Barry freakin Manilow???????

NOW?

I love you sweet thing but damn!!!!!!!!

That's bad.

posted by arse_hat 28 November | 03:22

Barry is a God.

posted by essexjan 28 November | 03:29

!!!Medical Emergency!!! Code Blue. We have a Medical Emergency.

posted by seanyboy 28 November | 03:49

The biggest disappointment in Vegas was that Barry was not performing his show at the Hilton that week (he was recovering from hip replacement surgery. That's hip bones, not hip-ness, of which he has an abundance).

Diane tricked me into going to the Hilton on the premise that we were going to see Barry when it was her intention all along to make me go to the Star Trek Experience with her.

posted by essexjan 28 November | 03:53

Homer: [singing]
Oh Mindy, you came and you gave without flaking,
But I sent you Ben Gay.
Oh Andy, you kissed me and stopped me from something,
And I -- [sees Lisa watching] Uh oh.
Lisa: Dad, why are you singing?
Homer: [thinking] Tell a lie, tell a lie.
[spoken] Um, because I have a small role in a broadway musical.
It's not much, but it's a start.
[thinking] Bravo. [sarcastic clapping]
Lisa: Are you hiding something from me?
Homer: Like what?
Lisa: Judging from your song, you're infatuated with a woman named
Mindy. [despondent] Or a man named Andy.
Homer: [making things up] Lisa, look out behind you!
Lisa: [jovial] Dad, I'm not gonna fall for that.
Homer: No, Lisa, I swear to you: I'm 100% completely serious! You've
got to turn around right now before it's too late!
Lisa: [turns] Huh?
Homer: [running away] Sucker!

posted by TheDonF 28 November | 04:48

I love Barry Manilow. You are not alone, EJ!

posted by fluffy battle kitten 28 November | 05:34

I just can't hate a dude who makes the whole world sing.

posted by Joe Famous 28 November | 09:54

I used to play Mandy on my clarinet. Oi.

(I believe Barry Manilow was one of the look-a-like options at one of the wedding chapels; if we'd only known, ej. : )

posted by Pips 28 November | 11:23

I have, on occasion, not immediately turned off a Barry Manilow song.

This must be part of that testosterone thing that makes me vote Democrat.

Actually, as a kid, "Copacabana" was a pop song I looked forward to hearing. Before I discovered rock'n'roll, you know.

posted by stilicho 28 November | 11:40

The biggest disappointment in Vegas was that Barry was not performing his show at the Hilton that week (he was recovering from hip replacement surgery

You should come visit Portland in January!

posted by cmonkey 28 November | 12:36

What's a bird table?

posted by deborah 28 November | 13:36

Bird table. I love mine. It's even had a pheasant on it.

≡ Click to see image ≡

posted by essexjan 28 November | 14:54

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