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27 November 2006

Pneumatic model and vacuous ex-pop star release duets album Eminently sarcastic reviews commence on Amazon.[More:]

UK Mechazens will be more aware than others of the "delights" of topless (and occasionally more) model Jordan (real name Katie Price) and her one-hit-wonder talent-vacuum husband, Peter Andre. They've just put out a duets album and there's some nicely acerbic reviews on Amazon. There's loads of good ones, but this is my current fave:

This is the greatest album of all time. If a better album is ever released again, EVER, I will eat this album. And then I'll buy another copy to replace the one I ate and put it with the other fifty copies I keep in what used to be my record collection until I dumped the lot because this album was the only album I'd ever need again ever
I heard a sample of Jordan's singing awhile back. Not even pitch-modulation and other vocal effects could mask her complete lack of musical talent. Incredible.
posted by me3dia 27 November | 11:56
I thought Jordan was blonde with big boobs. The woman in that pic...well, I suppose that high pulled-back hairlines are supposed to be a visual cue for maturity, but nobody except an alien is supposed to have a hairline that high.
posted by jonmc 27 November | 11:57
This is the greatest album of all time...

i wish the whole quote could be said really quickly with one breath as the "It was better than Cats" line is deader than dusting.
i am glad i have no idea who these people are.
posted by ethylene 27 November | 12:04
Is this an appropriate place to use the term "chav"?
posted by sciurus 27 November | 12:08
I think there was a sample of their untreated voices on Have I Got New For You a couple of weeks ago. It was really bad - along the lines of the Linda McCartney thing that came out a few years ago.

jonmc: massive ones! I'm sure no more than 30 seconds on a un-filtered Google image search will confirm that.
posted by TheDonF 27 November | 12:08
Is this an appropriate place to use the term "chav"?

Only if one is British.

I dunno if there's an American equivalent to chavs. Maybe Guidos or Southie Boy types, but that's less of an overarching culture I guess.
posted by jonmc 27 November | 12:12
Um, I had a dream a couple of nights ago that I went down on Jordan and I liked it. That is all.
posted by essexjan 27 November | 12:17
mook?
posted by sciurus 27 November | 12:30
Whoa, Jan!
posted by Specklet 27 November | 12:31
mook is close, but it's just as often applied to fratboy types as urban working class types. I get the sense that 'chav' is an underclass only thing in the UK.
posted by jonmc 27 November | 12:32
Oh, I'm going down to on the river of the model named Jordan...
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 27 November | 12:33
I have no idea who these people are either, but reading those reviews has thoroughly brightened up my Monday - there are times I do love the intarwebs.
posted by mygothlaundry 27 November | 12:39
Googling "Katie Price" had better results than Jordan.

Not that I would know anything about that.
posted by deborah 27 November | 12:43
I feel compelled to point out:

A Whole New World - This is a Disney favourite from Beauty and the Beast.

Is is NOT. It's from Aladdin. It was written by Alan Menken and won the Academy Award for best song AND the Grammy for best song of the year.

That is all.
posted by Specklet 27 November | 12:54
Only 4 left in stock--order soon (more on the way).

This is off the amazon link. So people are really buying this album despite the fact that its supposed to suck?
posted by LunaticFringe 27 November | 13:10
There is a video.
posted by grabbingsand 27 November | 13:14
LF: At one point today, the sales rank was 60. The only thing I can think is that people are buying it as comedy/ironic Christmas presents.
posted by TheDonF 27 November | 13:20
I think this photograph pretty much sums it up, don't you? (vaguely NSFW)
posted by felix betachat 27 November | 13:55
I had a dream last night. . . || What? Me Worry?

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