MetaChat - My new supervisor has his own slogans.

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21 November 2006

My new supervisor has his own slogans. Does yours? Read the→[More:]

"Cargo pants No advance"

Waitaminnit. We have no exposure to our customers and we work totally off e-mail and the phone. Worker comfort/small perks = better attitude and + productivity. That's what the new business school ethos says. I took five damn biz courses and got straight As before I quit out of sheer boredom.

"Early = On Time;
On Time = Late;
Late = Left."

Waitaminnit again. The cutting edge of biz says FLEX TIME! Small perks. Even work-from-home when possible.

Quantity of worker INPUT does NOT = quality or quantity of worker OUTPUT, & OUTPUT is what matters.

Overstressed workers, when relaxed, achieve more.

So what's all this concentration on the things that SHOW, not the things that COUNT?

*Pflaaagh*

I.T. is probably reading this and I probably just committed job suicide. Again.

post by: shane at: 12:06 | 23 comments

I used to know a girl back in my bookstore days, who when told she was late, said "no, I'm just more on time." Of course, she also once asked me who wrote Ripley's Believe It Or Not!, so take it for what it's worth.

But around here the term 'savage focus,' is popular lately, which just strikes me as ridiculous, since most of us can barely bring ourselves to give a lumpy shit.

posted by jonmc 21 November | 12:14

On time is late here, as well. And the department manager has a firm no-jeans policy. Corporate cultures and managerial druthers vary. C'est la vie.

Of course, now that I'm bottom-rung management, I have, well, not slogans precisely, but I do this thing where I snap both finger and then point at someone as I back out of their cube, and that works pretty well.

posted by cortex 21 November | 12:21

On time is late here, as well. And the department manager has a firm no-jeans policy.

We can pretty much dress how we want here, so much of the staff looks like they wandered in from a rap video or downtown bar. It's nice that I can wear long hair, earrings and jeans to work, but it dosen't make up for the other shit, really.

posted by jonmc 21 November | 12:25

I read the title of the post as, "My new supervisor has his own organs."

And the no jeans policy is archaic.

posted by chewatadistance 21 November | 12:32

Heh. Whereas I miss my jeans (and don 'em every weekend and sometimes when I get home from work just for spite), but there's so little actual corporate bs here that it's not too bad. And no one has made me cut my ponytail off, so, hey.

posted by cortex 21 November | 12:33

If I'm just treading water, I'll close the door and sleep under the desk. If I care about a project, I'm the first-in, last-man-standing type.

posted by StickyCarpet 21 November | 12:34

This is the main reason I like academia. I can turn up at 11am and nobody gives a shit as long as I do my work, write my papers and all that.

And I can wear jeans every day.

posted by gaspode 21 November | 12:38

I wish I had a tape recorder. About five of us were just swearing at the phone or at nothing in particular all at once. The stress is turning us all into freaks.

I feel the need to watch Office Space and Glengarry Glen Ross again. I wave my mug in the air and say, "Coffee is for CLOSERS," and no one knows what I mean.

Every time we PMs ("Project Mgrs") actually close a job I think we should do that horrible kitschy telemarketing bullshit routine where someone in the office rings a bell and everyone stands up and cheers.

posted by shane 21 November | 12:48

We're not allowed to wear jeans either, which is fine with me, except on Mondays, when the museum is closed & we're supposed to dress down. This has ridiculously turned into You Must Wear Jeans on Mondays and frankly, I'd rather not. I'm way more comfortable in leggings and a big comfy loose dress (also, and I grant you I'm weird, but it helps me focus to be dressed in "work" clothes) but if I wear a dress, everyone says, "Ooooh, you're dressed up!" and I feel weird. So, jeans it is.

posted by mygothlaundry 21 November | 13:06

Mine don't have slogans, per se, just weird phrases they're addicted to. All the standard corporate-speak cliches, plus things like "inside baseball." They've been using that one for months and I still have no idea what it means.

posted by occhiblu 21 November | 13:22

I hate getting to work on time. I used to be very punctual, but I spent three years in a job where I was expected to work late into the night if needed and no one cared if I came in a little late. I got so used to rolling into the office at 10am or so that I can't go back. Now that I'm at a normal job working 8am - 5pm, I can't manage to get in before 8:45 or 9. So far no one has said anything, but I feel that a day of reckoning is coming sooner rather than later.

I'd kill to have Warren Buffett's normal work day. He works in a small office suite with only a few support people around. Eighty percent of his time is spent reading and the other 20% on the phone. And best of all, he schedules almost no meetings. He's like an investment monk.

posted by mullacc 21 November | 13:29

..."inside baseball." They've been using that one for months and I still have no idea what it means.

I guess you're being facetious, but at risk of looking like a fool: inside baseball is a similar to an inside joke, with or without the humor.

posted by mullacc 21 November | 13:33

I can wear jeans to work if I expect to get dirty (I've actually come in wearing black pants and a work shirt, and had someone comment about being too dressed up for field work).

My boss says things like, "they really have our asses over a barrel."

posted by muddgirl 21 November | 13:46

Heh, mullacc, no I wasn't being facetious. I had just never heard the phrase before, and when the director of my department was hired, it started getting used by everyone in the company. I got so sick of hearing it that I never felt compelled to look it up.

posted by occhiblu 21 November | 13:59

So, in a sense, inside baseball itself is inside baseball from your perspective? How meta.

posted by mullacc 21 November | 14:11

"It went sideways on us" is a term mine use. Meaning that whatever "it" is, it did not go well.

One old boss, when referring to materials (such as various fasteners, coatings, etc) used to say "hahder than my dickie on a pay-day night," in a black irish accent. It was quite charming. . .you had to be there, I guess.

posted by danf 21 November | 14:17

"It went sideways on us" is a term mine use.

LOL! Euphemism. They just don't want to say, "It went south" or "It went to hell."

posted by shane 21 November | 14:25

mullacc, you just blew my mind.

posted by occhiblu 21 November | 14:25

my manager is a "positive motivator" type...she is fond of saying "I have faith in you." as if that alone will fill your soul with joy at being trusted & make her proud.

sometimes it works.
hehe

posted by karim satasha 21 November | 14:46

"It went sideways on us" is a term mine use.

LOL! Euphemism. They just don't want to say, "It went south" or "It went to hell.

Well it probably refers to driving on ice. Going sideways. . .not a good thing. . .

posted by danf 21 November | 14:54

I kind of like to dress up for work, myself. Unless it's the weekend -- then I like to dress way down to emphasize that fact that I'm there on what should be MY time.

I had a wonderful supervisor once who, when things got really hectic, would sigh and say, "Well, we're not here for love . . . ."

posted by JanetLand 21 November | 15:22

The latest company "motto" was "Life is Terrific". The company actually sent management (at $1500.00 a head) to some guy's empowerment seminars. The idea was that if you told yourself that life is terrific, you'd believe it too. So now the nimrod in charge of the meat and seafood departments adds it under his name when sending badly misspelled e-mails: Iam A. Nimrod
Life is Terrific..That's my Choice.

posted by redvixen 22 November | 20:13

The last ridiculous training session I attended featured a lot of talk about how we should 'Satisfy and Delight' ~~patrons~~ ~~users~~ customers.

It makes for a nice inside joke, anyway.

posted by box 22 November | 21:09

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