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07 November 2006

Just then, the baby bird saw a big thing. "Are you my mother?" she asked. [More:]How does a girl go about finding a mother-figure at the ripe old age of 31? My mother went away when I was very young and has since died. My stepmother is quintessentially evil, and my mother-in-law is just not my cup of tea. I have plenty of girlfriends, but sometimes I really need the perspective of an older woman. Should I place an ad on craigslist? Is there such a thing as Rent-a-Mom? Suggestions?
How about volunteering at a retirement home? Buy the first round of iced tea and you could probably have a whole table of wisdom.
posted by mischief 07 November | 01:51
Many long term care, retirement, nursing homes welcome volunteer help. Even for an hour a week. That maybe a bit older a perspective than you are looking for but it can be a great place to find a view from women older than you.

Many areas have women's networking, business, mentoring type groups. The slant may be career or job oriented but it could be a place to meet women a bit older with a different perspective that could help you outside of just work.

Also, if you like golf or bowling or any other such group pursuits you may be able to find local teams or leagues and try to join groups that are mostly older than you and maybe meet someone there?
posted by arse_hat 07 November | 01:58
Umm, lesbian bar? ;-P
posted by mischief 07 November | 02:02
Hmmm...perhaps I should make it more like a personal ad so people know what I'm looking for. MWF, 31. Looking for mom-type, age 50-65, to teach me how to make pie crust, thread the bobbin on my sewing machine, have babies, and get my husband to mow the lawn more often. I already have a crazy cat lady gramma, thanks. Only actual moms need apply (lesbians ok as long as you have kids.)
posted by pickles 07 November | 02:19
I've been told that if you want a mother figure you have to be a daughter. Are you looking most for nurturing? being mentored? hearing firsthand about personal life experience? Arse_hat's suggestions are good; also if you're content with your faith, the local place of worship.

I've learned that I need to create my own family.
posted by brujita 07 November | 02:20
"have babies, and get my husband to mow the lawn more often"

These are mutually exclusive. heheh
posted by mischief 07 November | 02:45
MWF, 31. Looking for mom-type

I'm confused. You're a female or a male?

Not that it matters, I guess, though the 'having babies' part of the ad would be a lot less creepy if you're a chick.
posted by item 07 November | 05:06
Not that it's creepy, either. Ah. I don't know. It's early/late/sideways.
posted by item 07 November | 05:07
If you sew at all - take up quilting. Not only do you learn how to thread your bobbin - you'll find a nice group of all ages and there are ALWAYS wise mother/grandmother types in quilting stores/groups/classes. Quilting groups are EVERYWHERE. Check your local library/community schedule. Check your local quilting/fabric stores.
posted by fluffy battle kitten 07 November | 05:32

Sorry, couldn't resist. You could ask Big Brothers/Big Sisters if they know of any similar programs.
posted by Smart Dalek 07 November | 07:00
Sorry, item. Married White Female, 31.
posted by pickles 07 November | 08:50
Scrounge yourself up a member of the Red Hat Society*.

*not linux related
posted by sciurus 07 November | 08:51
Hang out in an older peoples bar. Old drunks love playing dad or mom. And they'll refer to you as 'kid.' I know what I'm talking about.
posted by jonmc 07 November | 08:57
Start playing bridge. I know what I'm talking about.
posted by gaspode 07 November | 10:24
Take up shuffle board and visit a retirement village. Naked. I don't know what I'm talking about.
posted by jonmc 07 November | 10:26
Or you can take a cooking class and talk to a midwife.

I saw Children of Men in Cork; Judi Dench plays one and she is made up like an elderly hipster--dreadlocks and nose ring.
posted by brujita 07 November | 10:48
Or you can take a cooking class and talk to a midwife.

*cocks eyebrow*

posted by jonmc 07 November | 10:52
Do you want someone to teach you things, or someone to nurture you and worry over you and do all that other mom stuff? Because there are a lot of men who know how to make pie crusts and thread bobbins and things, so maybe they could help you, but women are usually better at nurturing. I'm a mom, so take that with a grain of salt.

This is only my opinion; please do not kill me.

Oh and where do you live? Approximately.
posted by iconomy 07 November | 11:42
You should meet my landlady. She's not quite a mother figure; she's part Eleanor Roosevelt, part Delphic Oracle, part Annie Oakley, part Leon Trotsky, all good humor and careless balance, and she's my muse.

I'd suggest finding a muse, not a mother figure. Muses come in all shapes and sizes and sexes, and the only requirement is that they inspire you.
posted by Hugh Janus 07 November | 11:59
Not at the same time, jonmc. ;-p
posted by brujita 07 November | 12:36
posted by essexjan 07 November | 13:06
I know how you feel and want to send you a big hug, pickles. Everyone's suggestions are so good. My mom and original stepmom are both dead and it sucks.
posted by auntbunny 07 November | 17:11
Thanks for all the great ideas, folks. And, iconomy, I'm like the blind man describing the elephant when it comes to stuff a mom would do--the teaching stuff comes to mind first, but ultimately it's the nurturing/worrying over that I'm after. I'm in Arizona, so there are lots of older folks out here.
posted by pickles 07 November | 20:38
I swear this shit will strip paint ... || The Photography of Bruiach