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06 November 2006
Never, ever let anyone know that you're skilled at fixing toilets.→[More:]Because if you do, you will be expected to handle any crapper-related horror that occurs. Even if you're knocked up and have a sensitive gag reflex.
I am, by all accounts, a very good cook. You'd think this would not be a skill best kept secret, but more than once I've been invited over for dinner, accepted, and then found out that I'm the one who'll be making it. (I am also too fucking nice for my own good, apparently, and need to get the 'sucker' tattoo removed from my forehead.)
auntbunny, me too! I'm a great sewer and yet all of my curtains are held together with straight pins and safety pins....hehe. My nosy and somewhat snobby sister-in-law comes over and if she sees that I've made new ones she turns them over to look at the insides to see if they're lined (because unlined curtains are so undignified), and I just laugh to see her horrified expression when she sees how I've juryrigged them with pins ;P
I too am good with clogged toilets. Not bad for someone who never lived with a toilet plunger until I moved to the USA. Seriously, what is it about USA plumbing? Can't handle more than a couple of bits of tp, what?
I'm also very good at unknotting jewelry and shoelaces.
Also, never admit to being able to change the toner in the copier machine or laser printer, or to being able to fix paper jams. It is also a good idea never to admit to your in-laws that you know anything at all about computers. Or home entertainment technology of any kind.
Seriously, what is it about USA plumbing? Can't handle more than a couple of bits of tp, what?
Interesting that you say that, because once I was using the can in a bookstore and in the trashbucket next to the commode was a huge wad of visibly used toilet paper. I was baffled by this until somebody told me that whoever did it probably comes from someplace where the plumbing can't handle paper and customarily did that. Although why plumbing that can handle poop cand handle wet paper baffles me.
That's pretty much ubiquitous in Central America, jon. Don't know if this is true everywhere, but a local on Caye Caulker told me that there it wasn't that the plumbing couldn't handle it, but that the paper fills up the septic tanks too quickly, and having them emptied was quite expensive.
It's not just computers, though. If you admit to being skilled at tech support and obviously a master (heh) of the complexities and rocket science of computing, it will be assumed that you can easily fix any of the following:
High voltage electrical equipment.
Nuclear powered personal submarines.
Any automobile, even if you hate cars.
Appropriated alien technology.
And yes, even toilets.
I was always astounded by the problems people would come to me with. I was astounded when people were surprised that, no, I didn't actually have much experience with mops or institutional janitorial technology, and that, no, I don't really enjoy mopping up a student's purged 6 enchilada lunch, nor do I appreciate climbing into suspended ceilings and poking at obviously malfunctioning dripping-wet HVAC systems that could probably kill me.
Granted, I'm my own worst enemy 'cause I like taking shit apart and fixing it, but, damn. I like working with computers 'cause it involves a desk, low voltage circuitry and a distinct lack of serious workplace hazards and injuries. The unrelenting, screaming hordes of scantily clad supervillan babes is just a nice perk.
I'm also very good at unknotting jewelry and shoelaces.
Me too! I actually enjoy untangling things. I find it relaxing.
And like essexjan, I can read upside and backwards. In fact, I do it so well that I often don't even notice that something is upside down or backward.
Those of you with hopper problems are on your own. I'm bad at remote support. I have to see it to fix it.
I can know when 1pm is automatically on my lunch hour without looking at a clock because I get a funny feeling I should be somewhere else (this is from going to lunch from Noon to 1pm most of my working life).
I guess I'm mechanically inclined because fixing/hooking up electronics/gadgets/furniture/plumbing is easy.
To open jars: just pound around the circumference of the lid with a heavy knife or other utensil. It, as other solutions suggested above, breaks the seal and makes it easier to open.
I can also drive to get all green lights and find parking spaces close to the door you want to go through. However, I don't think this is just me. I think, for some odd reason, the car gods like me. Maybe it's to make up for all the accidents I've been in (none of them my doing).
specklet, if it's what I think it is, you don't wanna know. /not jrossi
muddgirl, I have the foolproof, no-pounding-or-piercing tool for opening jars: an elastic band. The thick ones that come around bunches of broccoli or asparagus work best, but any respectable one will do in a pinch. Just put it around the jar and unscrew. It's like magic. Or, of course, you could always get hellbient to open it for you.
Unfortunatly, they found out at work that I can nearly always fix the machines. So they will now call me from wherever I am to unjam something, or make something else stop beeping, etc. Sigh. It's nice to be needed, anyway.
Oh, and yeah, I can read upside down also. And I'm good with assembly. I have cheap rates.