MetaChat - I have a date tonight!

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17 October 2006

I have a date tonight! Well, this afternoon, but still.→[More:]Drinks with a lady are drinks with a lady, whether it's at 4pm or 8pm. And it's actually with someone my own age instead of 10 years younger, for once.

So my question is, should I shave or not? I feel as though, since I'm the sort of person who shaves infrequently at best, it would be fundamentally dishonest to show up clean shaven. Am I just being lazy?

post by: dersins at: 14:29 | 31 comments

Shave, for god's sake!

posted by sveskemus 17 October | 14:32

Oh, and good luck!

posted by sveskemus 17 October | 14:33

Shave.

I like stubble a lot, but on a first date, I would take it to mean the guy really didn't give a damn about me.

posted by occhiblu 17 October | 14:36

If you are a little unshaven, that's okay I would say, but anything more than a little, you gotta shave.

That's what I'd do anyway. I was never that lucky with the ladies by the way.

posted by richat 17 October | 14:37

Putting your best chin forward on a first date is not fundamentally dishonest. Third date maybe.

What was your beard status when the date was arranged?

posted by danostuporstar 17 October | 14:37

Or don't shave, and risk rejection on the offchance of finding the stubble-lover of your dreams.

*has scraggly beard and lovely wife*

posted by cortex 17 October | 14:38

Shave. I like stubble, but for a first date: shave.

posted by Specklet 17 October | 14:39

I feel that shaving your fundament would be essentially dishonest.

Butt if it's your face, go ahead and shave!

posted by taz 17 October | 14:39

What was your beard status when the date was arranged?

About what it is now. 3 or 4 day stubble.

posted by dersins 17 October | 14:39

Also worth noting is that, when clean-shaven, I am frequently taken for being in my mid-20's. Which can be useful when one is meeting women in their mid-20's, but, I think, might run the risk that a woman my own age (mid-30's) would find it more difficult to, y'know, take me seriously.

I'm overthinking this, aren't I?

posted by dersins 17 October | 14:42

You haven't got time to grow a proper beard. So shave.

posted by seanyboy 17 October | 14:43

Shave. You may not kiss her but if you do, you'll be glad.

And have fun. . .what will you be drinking?

posted by danf 17 October | 14:43

If your facial hair has any bearing on whether she takes you seriously or not, she ain't worth it anyway ... so yeah, overthinking.

posted by danostuporstar 17 October | 14:45

what will you be drinking?

3-dollar happy hour martinis at a bar neither of us has ever been to before.

posted by dersins 17 October | 14:50

I think stubble is sexy. So I cast a vote for don't shave. She's already seen you with stubble, and you feel more comfortable with it. Maybe one of the reasons she agreed to go out with you was that she found your unshaven face appealing.

posted by iconomy 17 October | 14:58

What is this date thing of which you speak?

/me weeps

posted by mygothlaundry 17 October | 15:13

What is this date thing of which you speak?

Well, from recent experience, it seems to consist mainly of having a few drinks with someone while you slowly, painfully, awkwardly discover that you have nowhere near as much in common as you had initially thought and / or hoped, followed by an even MORE painfully awkward few minutes of ensuring that you don't quite come close enough to each other so that one of you might (heavens forfend!) think the other might be attempting to initiate physical contact, followed by an eternity of not calling or emailing each other, because it just wasn't working for either of you.

In this final respect, it is not entirely dissimilar to the "drunken hook-up."

posted by dersins 17 October | 15:25

Shave EVERYTHING

posted by thirteenkiller 17 October | 15:30

Well, from recent experience, it seems to consist mainly of having a few drinks with someone while you slowly, painfully, awkwardly discover that you have nowhere near as much in common as you had initially thought and / or hoped, followed by an even MORE painfully awkward few minutes of ensuring that you don't quite come close enough to each other so that one of you might (heavens forfend!) think the other might be attempting to initiate physical contact, followed by an eternity of not calling or emailing each other, because it just wasn't working for either of you.

No you are mistaken. That is marriage. What's dating REALLY like?

posted by danf 17 October | 15:35

I vote for shaving (the face, I mean -- giggles at thirteenkiller). One should spiffy up for dates. And the ballet.

Once I was in a poor production of a Noel Coward play in this crappy community theater, and these two couples came to the show one night in evening wear -- black tie, gowns, the works. When asked about it, they said, "This is what one wears for Noel Coward!" I admired that.

posted by JanetLand 17 October | 15:39

If it's 5'oclock shadow, I say don't shave, especially for a 4pm date. If it's three-day scrag, shave.

posted by muddgirl 17 October | 16:22

I think you should have her over to shave you and forget the martoonis.

posted by Lipstick Thespian 17 October | 16:33

I think you should have her over to shave you and forget the martoonis.

How do I mark a best answer on metachat?

posted by dersins 17 October | 16:37

Well, from recent experience,...
My recent experience warrants a shouting thread.

posted by pieisexactlythree 17 October | 17:17

Shout away....

posted by dersins 17 October | 17:20

Well now I want to know the shaving final decision, and how the date went, if the dater is inclined to share...

posted by occhiblu 18 October | 00:54

I ended up not shaving, but only because I waited too long to make the decision, so the clock made it for me.

The date was very pleasant, despite my stubble, and despite the fact that the bar at which we were supposed to meet was unexpectedly closed.

We regrouped, drank elsewhere, had dinner, and then drank at another elsewhere.

Nothing particular eventful or spectacular to report beyond that (at least in part because I am trying to be less of a slut than I've been since my girlfriend dumped me without explanation a month ago, but also in part because I was pleasantly intimidated to be in the presence of a strong, intelligent, attractive woman my own age, instead of the much younger, impressionable ones I always seem to meet in bars. Oh, wait, that's too much information, isn't it? And probably doesn't reflect well on me, either.)

Tentative discussions were had regarding a followup date. Hopes remain high for such an occurence...

posted by dersins 18 October | 02:47

wootles, dersins!

posted by By the Grace of God 18 October | 06:14

Woo hoo! Glad it was so pleasant, dersins.

posted by occhiblu 18 October | 10:54

Smart, strong women are worth it. Plus sometimes we can be sluts if we feel like it.

posted by matildaben 18 October | 18:03

Did I really sound that bad? I mean, I knew I sounded bad, but...

posted by dersins 18 October | 22:59

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