MetaChat - I was at the supermarket today,

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31 August 2006

I was at the supermarket today, and they had this promotional stand for "professional chewing gum." What is that even supposed to mean? Is there much money to be made in chewing gum these days?

post by: Quentin at: 05:22 | 14 comments

Violet Beauregarde was a professional gum chewer, I think.

posted by Daniel Charms 31 August | 05:38

So I've been chewing the amateur gum at work all this time? Kind of embarrassing...

posted by iconomy 31 August | 05:42

You don't want to lose your amateur status, iconomy, or you won't be allowed to compete in The Games of the 2008 Chewing Gum Olympiad.

posted by mike9322 31 August | 06:52

...and you might also have to upgrade to pro teeth and pro jawbones to be able to chew it.

posted by Daniel Charms 31 August | 07:09

Maybe they meant the gum is professional flavored. MMM-mm, Donald Trumpalicious.

posted by Fuzzy Monster 31 August | 08:56

Maybe they meant the gum is professional flavored.

Yes, in the variety-pak you get one piece each of doctor, lawyer, accountant, truck driver and hairdresser. The hairdresser tastes best, all that styling gel makes it very chewy.

posted by jonmc 31 August | 09:06

Maybe they meant the gum is professional flavored.

Or maybe they're just, you know, searching for new markets? They call it the 'professional' chewing gum to distinguish it from the 'proletarian'* kind usually chewn by punk kids. 'Professional' gum is for people who chew gum consciously, and with a purpose, not just out of a habit. Unlike the proletarian chewing gum sticks, which are huddled together in the smallest possible amount of space, the professional ones are more individualistic and have to be packed separately.

* This reminds me of a Finnish slang word for cheap ground coffee, prolepuru ('proledust').

posted by Daniel Charms 31 August | 09:32

* This reminds me of a Finnish slang word for cheap ground coffee, prolepuru ('proledust').

No, that's the beverage made from ground proletarians that the aristocracy drinks. Some even snort it. Those Finns are a ruthless bunch. Must be that Viking blood.

posted by jonmc 31 August | 09:37

This reminds me of a Finnish slang word for cheap ground coffee, prolepuru ('proledust').

Yay - "dishwater" and "love in a canoe" you're fired. Proledust is the damingest name for coffee ever.

posted by Miko 31 August | 10:24

"love in a canoe"?

Is that the old joke (as I know it):
This lager is like making love in a punt. They're both fucking close to water.

posted by dodgygeezer 31 August | 10:29

Hey, I didn't slave away for four years getting my gum doctorate to chew the same gum as you amateurs. That’s DOCTOR gum chewer to you.

posted by Slack-a-gogo 31 August | 10:53

That program is nothing but a diploma mill, and your gum doctorate isn't worth the Bazooka wrapper it's printed on.

posted by box 31 August | 10:58

that gum may have been professional and everything, but did it have hi-technical excellent taste & flavor?

i didn't think so.

posted by syntax 31 August | 11:26

≡ Click to see image ≡

posted by pieisexactlythree 31 August | 14:23

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