Alabama (October 6-15) Featuring racing and diving pigs; the AL Pork Producers' Adult and Montgomery County Farmer's Federation Teen "Cooking with Pork" contest; the giant pumpkin weigh-in; the gator show; a "vegetable critter" contest; "Make It Special With Cheese"; Men's Day (Everyone Admitted for $6); LADIES' Day ($6.00 Admission for Ladies, $9.00 Admission for Men - $6.00 for Males ages 4 - 11); biscuit baking contest; Montgomery Idol contest.

Alaska (August 24-September 4) Featuring a cabbage contest; "fowl weather friends"; horseshoe tournament; the backhoe rodeo; the Great Alaska Chili Challenge; the Diaper Derby; the Toddler Trot; the Husband Holler; the smoked salmon delicacies contest.

Arizona (October 13-November 5, excluding Mondays) Featuring personalized haircolor tips and tricks from the experts; the Beauty Brands Cuts for Kids Cut-A-Thon; Figure 8 racing; Governor's Office of Highway Safety Public Safety Day.

Arkansas (October 13-22) Featuring "Capitol Offense w/ Governor Mike Huckabee" on the Smirnoff Ice stage, followed by Grand Funk Railroad; the Great Cats of the World show; The Caboodlestopper's Family Show; pig races; youth flower arranging contest; SPAM recipe contest; Lazy Day Beef Meals in a Slowcooker; "We Want Wow Now" Pork Recipe Rall; When Beef Meets Rice; the crowning of the Arkansas Rice Queen.

California (August 11-September 4) Featuring Krispy Kreme Chicken Sandwiches; a salmon egg display; BJ The Puppet Truck; the Wild West Turkey Stampede; rug hooking; the "Find a National Wildlife Refuge" game; emergency sand bagging demonstration and competition; Poppy's cookie mania; In the Kitchen with Del Monte and Happy Cows; 4-H oral presentations; make a Salmon Life Cycle bracelet; apple bobbing; Poppy & Friends Hula-hoop Madness.

Colorado (August 25-September 4) Featuring the World Champion Mutton Bustin’ competition; barn trivia; Dance Heads party ("Dance Heads is a new and innovative party entertainment that is taking the U.S. by storm.... Dance Heads superimposes participants’ heads on professional dancers’ bodies while they sing along to some of the greatest pop hits of al time"); the Great American Duck Race; diving mermaids; a lumberjack show; Toddler Driving School; vocal trash; trained bears; NASCAR simulator.

Connecticut (September 22-24) Featuring a llama show; an ox pull; the dairy fitting competition; scrollsawing with Murry Newton; tribute bands (Sinatra, Beatles, Neil Young); Battle of the Barns; The Many Uses of Herbs; The Health Benefits of Tea; livestock costume parade; Biosecurity is for Birds!

Delaware (July 20-29) Featuring the Sport Stacker Demonstration; Larry the Cable Guy; Buffalo Bill's Wild West Show; flower arranging; mule demonstrations; peach dessert competition; pygmy goat breeding; rooster crowing contest; "watermelon contest" (actual watermelon activity unspecified); the Delaware Sheep & Wool Queen Contest; monster truck show; Oldiewed Game Show; dairy goat milking contest; fingerprinting by the Delaware State Police; holiday appetizer competition; Lego building contest; pony and miniature horse show; spuddy buddy contest.

Florida (February 8-19) No details available, except that a regular feature is "Cracker Country."

Georgia (September 25-October 1) Featuring the NuWay Weiners Hotdog Eating Contest; Ingleside Village Pizza Pizza Eating Contest; Dunkin' Donuts Donut Eating Contest; Popeye's Corn-on-the-cob Eating Contest; Popeye's Chicken Wing Eating Contest; 2nd Annual Clogging Competition.

Hawaii (May 25-June 18) No information available.

Idaho (September 2-9) Featuring state arm wrestling tournament; tractor pull; Indian relay races; Lynyrd Skynyrd; the Farm Bureau talent contest

Illinois (August 11-20) Featuring Cutest Little Farmer contest; auctioneer bid calling contest; truck and tractor pulls; Elvis Himselvis; chainsaw artists; kids fishing clinics; amateur driving race; Peace and Applique by Lois Weissburg; Kankakee Day; Salute to Paul Simon with the Paul Simon Museum.

Indiana (August 9-20) Featuring Munchkins on the Midway; Indy International Wine Competition; World’s Largest Male Hog Contest; crop arts; gladiolas and gourds; hot air balloon races; Anthem Health Fair - near 150th Birthday Cake Gift Shop; "Look, Honey! It’s Honey Extraction"; watermelon seed spitting contest; urban line dancing; bricklaying apprentice contest; "Enjoy a cool drink of water & learn about nature’s water recycling secrets"; cheese sculpting; spay/neuter animal surgery; SPAM tasting.

Iowa (August 10-20) Featuring "Iowa Life Changing Day";4-H Automotive Conference and Rabbit Poster Judging; Gary's Tumbling; Gary McCurdy, Tubador; rubber stamp techniques; balloon masters; "Walk and Talk"; paddlefish, lampreys and sturgeon of the Mississippi River; the Old-Fashioned Hymn Sing; horseshoe pitching championships; butter sculpting; Cooking with MicroSoy Flakes; Chuck E. Cheese's Ugliest Cake Contest; tallest corn stalk contest; turkey and duck calling; Ladies' Chicken Calling; line dance lessons; the extrication exposition; vocal trash; Twins, Triplets and More contest.

Kansas (September 8-17) Featuring Girl Scout judging; pig races; chainsaw art; sunflower seed sorting competition; celebrity grape stomping contest; the 4-H aerospace review; Giant Bicycles Stunt Team; Marriage on the Midway; crop identification contest; can can dancers; the Kansas Kountree Kloggers; 4-H/FFA gilt show; Kansas Arm Wrestling Championship; lawn mower races; hip hop dance demo; SPAM contest; Lynyrd Skynyrd; super cow contest; Rockin' Monster Truck Fest; the natural colored sheep contest.


Kentucky (August 17-27) Featuring the dairy goat and senior doe show; The Spoonman; Find the Beans contest; pig racing; rooster crowing contest; the Sing A Song & Chew Gum at the Same Time Contest; lumberjack show; an Elvis and Hank Williams impersonator; pyrography on gourds; Little Miss and Mister pageant; a Linda Rondstadt impersonator.

Louisiana (October 26-November 12) Featuring a youth BB gun contest and livestock quiz. No other information available.

Maine (July 28-August 6) Featured racing pigs; African acrobats; live sharks; motocross; oxen log scooting; baby beefs; Company B 20th Maine Infantry.

Maryland (August 25-September 4) Featuring a birthing center; public cow milking lessons; pork and grain day; racing pigs; animal costume contest; beekeeping; "THE BAC ZONE - DESIGNATE A DRIVER CAMPAIGN"; honey and wax day.

Massachusetts (September 15-October 1) Featuring fancy farm mules; the Avenue of Agriculture; a giant slide; Farm-a-Rama; a wreath-making contest; the Irish exhibit; the Mounds of Moo butter sculpting contest; the Yankee candle shop; Rhode Island Day.

Michigan (August 23-September 4) Featuring the Rowdy Rooster; the walking Treeman; a spaghetti eating contest; a bobbin lace-in demo; the applesauce slurp; Alice Cooper; a cooking with honey contest; pine needle basktetry; the Kreyola Cloggers and the Krey-Z Cloggers; a hedge trimming contest; baton twirling; the horseshoe toss; longest ponytail contest; bubblegum blowing contest; husband and wife calling contests; finger weaving demo; the carrot drop; potato sack races; Twisted Sister; the Dulcimer Evente [sic]; donut eating contest; the crocheting challenge; a vegetarian sandwich contest; cupcake decorating contest.

Minnesota (August 24-September 4) Featuring Monster Trucks; talent contests; blacksmithing; woodturning; home uses for beeswax; moo, baa and oink booths; Building a Perfect Cracker Basket; wind energy Jeopardy; a mold-detecting dog demo; square dancing; SPAM contest; building your own rain garden; milk mustache contest; Party 911; Clancy, the Mercury-Detecting Dog.

Mississippi No information available.

Missouri (August 10-20) Featuring Ag-citement; an alligator show; butter sculpting; chainsaw art; cookie stacking contest; weightlifting contest; firefighting demo; hula hoop contest; Otto the Talking Car; pig races; waltzing contest.

Montana (July 28-August 6) Featured racing pigs; sand sculpting; Old West show; cloggers; Eagles tribute band.

Nebraska (August 25-September 4) Featuring butter sculpting; camel rides; the Dale Jr. experience; Nebraska wines; mechanical bull; the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile; the sponge run; tug of war; monster trucks; rock-paper-scissors contest; pinto bean cookies; SPAM cook-off; Cooking with Natrually Nutrient Beef; baking with sorghum flour; Catholic Mass; hog calling; Greek belly dancing; The Happy Czechs; edible necklaces; Pat Benatar.

Nevada (August 23-27) Featuring the Carnival of Crab; demolition derby; biscuit bake-off; My Favorite Salsa contest; Make it Yourself with Wool; cookie stacking contest; pee wee rabbits; horse quiz bowl; Jimmy Buffet tribute; Special People's Day; fish auction; creative uses of duct tape contest; Wiener Dog Nationals;

New Hampshire (August 31-September 4) Featuring tractor pulls;
rock carving; mounted cowboy shooters; Weinermobile; motorcycle daredevils.

New Jersey (August 4-13) Featured tethered balloon rides; New Jersey cheeses; goat storytime; Field Hockey: Not Just Another Ball Game; Crayola - The Art of Childhood; racing and swimming pigs; "beef obstacle"; watermelon eating contest; scarecrow building contest; lawnmower races; electric baby animal nursery; lumberjack and lumberjill contest.

New Mexico (September 8-23) No information available.

New York (August 24-September 4) Featuring basket making; dulcimer making; broom making; soap making; candle making; lace making; antique stoves of NY state; The Force of the Horse; rooster crowing; live sharks; Billy Ray Cyrus; llama dress-up; 4-H Dairy Goat Bowl Contest; Catholic Mass; miniature horse jumping.

North Carolina (October 13-22) Featuring the Village of Yesteryear; doggies of the Wild West; the Dazzling Mills Family ("What happens when a three-time national juggling champion marries a six-time national trick unicycle champion?"); racing pigs.

North Dakota (July 21-29) No information available.

Oklahoma (September 14-24) Featuring the Great American duck race; racing pigs; the Oklahoma Trotter Drill Team; Plains Indian Dancers; wool spinning; Deaf Awareness festivities; The Okie Stompers; leathercrafting; SPAM contest; on-site spay/neuter clinic.

Oregon (August 25-September 4) Featuring a hair wrap workshop; Wash Board Willy; hula hoop workshop; gnome tales; didge workshop; the Quaint Quilters; Weinermobile; Lego physics; the Gillette Venus Vibrance Mobile Tour; tap water; butter churning contest; poi workshop; the sauce boss; SPAM championship; interlocking paving stone demo; milk mustache contest;

Pennsylvania (May25-June4) No information available.

South Carolina (October 11-22) Featuring SPAM sampling; Farmer for a Day; sandscapes; pig racing; bookmark decoration; greatest grandparent contest; backhoe rodeo; Pronto Pups.

South Dakota (August 31-September 4) Featuring drying summer produce; tigers of India; Vanguard Ethanol Squadron Fly-By; Getting Your Feet Wet with a Water Garden; "Jesus Loves Cowboys" Puppet Show; The Little Yodelin Cowgirls; Dakota chefs' competition; Huron Senior Center Line Dancers; hot dog eating contest; Sew Your Own Style; Not Your Everyday Kitchen Gadgets.

Tennessee (September 8-17) Featuring Tigers of India; live sharks; racing pigs.

Texas (September 29-October 29) Featuring Big Tex; racing pigs; Marilyn Monroe look-alike competition; world's largest house of cards; racing pigs; pee wee stampede; the mundo Latino accordian exhibit; the spirit of the horse.

Utah (September 7-17) Featuring GoldenPalace.net World Colosimo's Sausage Eating Championship; stinky shoe contest; "Be Ready Utah"; giant slide; racing pigs.

Vermont (September 1-10) Featuring the Rock Maple SnoCross races; freedom riders; monster trucks; clam bake; wrestling.

Virginia (September 28-October 8) Featuring step dancing competition; racing pigs; lawnmower racing; small engine troubleshooting; the ferret fiesta; harmonica competition.

Washington (August 24-September 4) Featuring Hollywood-educated parrots; international lumberjack show; bubble gum blowing contest; monster trucks; all-Alaskan pig racing; totem poles; bees.

West Virginia (August 11-20) Featuring free eye screenings; non-denominational church services; pulling contests; Iron Chef competition; Herman's Hermits.

Wisconsin (August 2-12) Featured beef. That's pretty much it. Beef.

Wyoming (August 12-19) Featuring pigs 'n' mud wrestling. No other information available.

Ohio?

I knew some smart ass would point out the two that aren't actually on the list. ("48 state fairs" didn't have the same ring.) Their websites were down.

Georgia: Boy howdy, that's a lot of eating contests. Makes ya wonder if the clogging contest refers to dancing or arteries.

Kentucky: Elvis impersonator? Eh, it's been done. But Hank Williams impersonator? Now you're not just whistling Dixie.

New Jersey: Racing and swimming pigs - all right! The rest of yous can race pigs. Jersey pigs freaking swim, all right? Beauty-ful.

New Hampshire: mounted cowboy shooters - I knew there was a reason I wanted to live here.

Utah: "Be Ready Utah" - What is that exactly? And do the potential answers scare you as much as they do me?

OH, this is all so glorious, thanks, Pup! I am a fair junkie - I actually think if you took me to a fair and hooked me to electrodes and stuff, my nervous system would lead you to believe I was on some Schedule I substance. Fairs electrify me. The people! The animals! The shows! The smells! The food! The lights! The temporariness, the just-because-ness, the weird blend of tradition and novelty, the orgasmic festivity of putting all these strange things in a big open field together! Yay.

Some of my best fair experiences of the last few years:
-Seeing the Royal Hannaford Circus (sadly later finding out their animal care history is not so hot).
-Watching the horse pull contest -- oh my GOD, the strength and power of those horses!
-Seeing a sheepdog herding demo. Those doggies are smart 'n' fast!
-Watching the masterful spiels of the product hawkers -- I love their patter, their techniques for putting the audience on the spot and making it hard not for them to purchase. It's a form of performance and personal manipulation that I'm a little sad to see disappearing.
-Seeing has-been music acts that are still fun to listen to; last year's fave was the Marshall Tucker Band. -Browsing in the motorcycle-leather-dealer booth (smells so good).
-Browsing in the cowboy-hat-dealer booth.
-Checking out rows of jewel-colored jellies and jams in Ball jars.
-Looking at Jerusalem sheep (weird horns!) and letting lamas lip and slaver on my palms while I feed 'em that alfafa stuff.
-Playing midway games like Shoot-out-the-Star and the one where you hit with the mallet and try to ring the bell.-Going to the Big E (which is a centralized enormous fair for all of New England) and walking through the Avenue of States. It's a fake street with scaled-down versions of each New England state capital building. Inside each one is a show hall filled with the state's famous things -- like, Vermont's has apples and cider, cider donuts, Ben & Jerry's, wool crafters, maple syrup people, people making Finnish Pancakes, etc. Massachusetts has chowder and lobster rolls, cranberries, etc. You get the idea. Regional culture in six buildings, neatly arranged. And every day there's a parade!

I have to stop now, or I'll end up writing a book about the fair. Maybe I should!

Sorry, mudpuppie, I wasn't trying to be a smart-arse, it's just that I always look for Ohio first on any state list.

Hey Miko, have you ever been to the Common Ground Fair? That's my fave.

Mudpuppie
I fuckin' love you, yo.


a bobbin lace-in demo; the applesauce slurp; Alice Cooper; a cooking with honey contest;

Billy Ray Cyrus; llama dress-up; 4-H Dairy Goat Bowl Contest; Catholic Mass; miniature horse jumping.


hip hop dance demo; SPAM contest; Lynyrd Skynyrd; super cow contest; Rockin' Monster Truck Fest; the natural colored sheep contest.


Elvis Himselvis; chainsaw artists; kids fishing clinics; amateur driving race; Peace and Applique by Lois Weissburg; Kankakee Day; Salute to Paul Simon with the Paul Simon Museum.


Cooking with Natrually Nutrient Beef; baking with sorghum flour; Catholic Mass; hog calling; Greek belly dancing; The Happy Czechs; edible necklaces; Pat Benatar.

No offense to the Buckeye state or Lonefrontranger, but why, oh why on earth would you pick Ohio first essexjan?

Hawaii (May 25-June 18) No information available.

Hawaii says mind your business.

Washington (August 24-September 4) Featuring Hollywood-educated parrots; international lumberjack show; bubble gum blowing contest; monster trucks; all-Alaskan pig racing; totem poles; bees.


right now Washington is leading in my favorites for a certain dynamic mix of wackiness and in your face excitement, punchy you know? Although Iowa has a more complete the only state fair you will ever need feeling to it that is warming my heart, I am especially impressed by the Lampreys and "extrication exposition":


Iowa (August 10-20) Featuring "Iowa Life Changing Day";4-H Automotive Conference and Rabbit Poster Judging; Gary's Tumbling; Gary McCurdy, Tubador; rubber stamp techniques; balloon masters; "Walk and Talk"; paddlefish, lampreys and sturgeon of the Mississippi River; the Old-Fashioned Hymn Sing; horseshoe pitching championships; butter sculpting; Cooking with MicroSoy Flakes; Chuck E. Cheese's Ugliest Cake Contest; tallest corn stalk contest; turkey and duck calling; Ladies' Chicken Calling; line dance lessons; the extrication exposition; vocal trash; Twins, Triplets and More contest.

I nominate this for the best post ever, anywhere ever.

No offense to the Buckeye state or Lonefrontranger, but why, oh why on earth would you pick Ohio first essexjan?

My boyfriend was from Ohio, and I have many friends there.

I know for sure that my nephew will be at the Maryland one, in the tractor display area, quizzing the John Deere rep for hours about engine problems and their solutions.

He digs the livestock too, but he'll go back again and again to anything with tires or treads.

Don't forget that the NYS Fair every year has a gigantic refridgerated butter sculpture. Oh, and it rotates.

"Toddler Driving School"!!??!

im stayin off the roads once the fair has come to pass.

My town in Vermont is having its 135th World's Fair in less than a month and I can't wait. My in-laws are coming for the festivities too which will be a blast!

What I really liked about doing this is that it's funny (to me) to take a lot of these things out of context. I mean, a lot of these things sound really silly, and you wonder how, in these times of blatant corporate sponsorships, some of the wackier and WTF-ish exhibits would be worth the floor space.

But then you think about the genesis and the history of state and county fairs. At one point, they provided a valuable -- even invaluable -- service to farmers and "homemakers." Before the age of easy access to information, farmers would go to the fair to learn about new techniques and products that might make their lives easier. Their wives learned new ways of preserving food for the winter. Plus, it was a chance for rural people to actually go to the city and, you know, mingle.

So I'm glad the WTF-ish exhibits are still around, and I hope we don't lose that little bit of innocence now that most state fairgrounds are held on pavement and sponsored by Budweiser.

I agree with miko, I am totally floored by the sheepdog trials. It's so cool to see the human and the dog interact and do a job. I should get some film on that and show Silver what he can do.

State Fair brings back memories of ads on teevee for the California State Fair at Cal Expo.

"Come to State Fair,
It's all right there..."

Corny jingles for sure. But, one thing that was cool that they did when I was there was the exhibit where they had animals giving birth. Quite educational.

What pup said about the social utility of fairs. I'm really glad they're still like that, as well. The mix of education, product promotion, skill celebration, community organization, and a just plain good time is wonderful and that's exactly what should be preserved.

alice cooper and twisted sister. god help michigan.