MetaChat - The world's many mysteries puzzle AOL users.

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09 August 2006

The world's many mysteries puzzle AOL users. Why does my cast iron skillet smell like metal? Why doesn't lake water seep into the ground? Why does toilet bowl bubble when flushed? Why doesn't god answer prayers? Why does crack cocaine gives you the shits?

post by: eatitlive at: 16:26 | 16 comments

Why does a boy stare at you? Why does a male house dog constantly urinate in the house when a male human is close to the male dog's female human owner? Why doesn't a straight man ask his straight friends if he wants to go to the restroom with him? Why does ejaculating feel good? Why does my butt hurt?

posted by eatitlive 09 August | 16:35

Why does it always have to come down to you leaving before i say i love you and why do i always use the words that cut the deepest when i know how much it hurts you oh baby why do i do that to you? Why does Freddy Kruger kill?

posted by eatitlive 09 August | 16:37

Why don't any of those AOL questions end in a question mark?

posted by mudpuppie 09 August | 16:40

Why does my husband like to get me from behind? Why does hair grow around the anus? Why does my eye twitch? Why does my face feel inflamed on one side? Why doesn't oprah answer emails?

posted by eatitlive 09 August | 16:41

I particularly like the string near the end:

why does the stomach growl
why does my flesh crawl
why does my dog stink
why doesn't a thermometer be used as a stiring rod for scintific experiments

It's almost poetic, really.

posted by mudpuppie 09 August | 16:43

Why do I yearn to answer these people's questions?

posted by Specklet 09 August | 16:44

We'd start off at the top of the list answering each question with energy, scouring the web for measured responses, adding multiple cross references, pointing out books with informed opinion. By the end the best we could offer would be, "Eh, you know, it's how the world works." And they'd be happy with just that, most likely.

posted by eatitlive 09 August | 16:53

Altough, I'm not sure a book's been written on the subject of crack shits.

posted by eatitlive 09 August | 16:54

"why does my 2000 chevy silverado lean to the left"

Because it is pro choice?

posted by eekacat 09 August | 17:00

why does windows go to safe mode

To protect itself from AOL users.

Why does my husband like to get me from behind? Why does hair grow around the anus? Why does my eye twitch? Why does my face feel inflamed on one side? Why doesn't oprah answer emails?

These can all be cured by solving any one of them.

Why does ejaculating feel good? Why does my butt hurt?

See above.

Hey, I do what I can.

posted by dg 09 August | 17:07

Holy shit!

The rest of the story....

posted by mudpuppie 09 August | 17:33

Why does my cast iron skillet smell like metal?
You mean, why does your iron skillet smell like iron? I have no idea.

posted by court siem 09 August | 18:17

24841236 stop my ass is on fire 405241 how can you change the color of your labia 673923 how do butt beads work 7897282 reasons why people are not phicially affectionate and verbasl affectionate 7897282 why should i live my life on somebody's elses schedule 7897282 why do women looks good smells good and taste good 7897282 why are women a large number of them....most in many cases attracted to thugs criminals deadbeats abusers etc 7897282 why people spend more their time on the internet 1729806 why did god put me in this chair 1729806 why did god give me this wheelchair
...
17726900 all i ever wanted out of life was happiness but instead all i recieved was emptyness i feel as my life has ended for the last time'god why am i so hurt i just want to die.i hate the way things go for me i want them to be right i want to feel free i want to breathe the air i want to see the light but thanks to you i just want to die.why did you take my youth why did i bare your child why is life so cruel that why i want to die i never wanted to be hurt i never wanted you to make me cry i only wan

oh internet :-(

posted by cmonkey 09 August | 18:25

Want to read an epic saga? Go here and search for user 711391. Incredible.

posted by blag 09 August | 19:17

I actually lol'd for nearly a minute! In fact, I'm still LOLing!!!

posted by pieisexactlythree 09 August | 23:09

Oh, man, blag. Urrrgggghhh. And cmonkey. :(

People are so lost.

posted by taz 10 August | 02:58

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