MetaChat - Pimping is not easy.

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09 August 2006

Pimping is not easy. I had to share this with y'all because I'm trying really hard not to pee my pants laughing in my cubicle.→[More:]

So I've been trying (not unsuccessfully) to meet boys online during my down time at work.

Here's an honest-to-god response I got today:

I like you. Maybe you help me take care of my bisness and I pay for you
things.

I help with rent, car or things you like. It's OK, I do that.

Maybe you not look for brains. I dont have brains, I have dolars. Maybe you have brains. That's goood! I like the brains. You talk I listen good. Maybe you
not looking for deep man. You find me good.

Maybee you have dollars but you like to know me and after you like me to go for ride with you. Maybe you like in car. It's ok, I like to, I do that for you, if you want.

Maybe you dont want the car, maybe you like the drink and the dinner and I say nice
things in ear to you and you like. And maybe you like the hug. I do that good too. You try, you like, you see. I think you like. I let you be in shoes. You talk to me I listen.

post by: SassHat at: 14:55 | 29 comments

Metachat: And maybe you like the hug

posted by SassHat 09 August | 14:56

I'm picturing a man who looks like Lurch, sounds like an Eastern European butcher, and dresses like Huggy Bear.

posted by jonmc 09 August | 14:57

If it makes it funnier, this guy's email address is a French name.

posted by SassHat 09 August | 15:02

I just sent a link of this page to my brother, and he wrote back, "That's embarrassing. I never thought she'd post that anywhere."

posted by occhiblu 09 August | 15:09

Is that for real or did he send that as a joke?

jonmc: I also was hearing Eastern European when I was reading that. Therefore, he must be Eastern European.

posted by LunaticFringe 09 August | 15:09

If it makes it funnier, this guy's email address is a French name.

Pepe LePew?

posted by mudpuppie 09 August | 15:09

I let you be in shoes? Ah ha ha ha haaaa!

posted by Specklet 09 August | 15:12

Maybe you have brains. That's goood! I like the brains

All I could think of was a zombie in a beret smoking and eating a croissant.

posted by SassHat 09 August | 15:13

(Yes, my brother was joking.)

posted by occhiblu 09 August | 15:14

Occhi - he doesn't really like the brains, then? :(

posted by SassHat 09 August | 15:16

...and I say nice things in ear to you and you like. And maybe you like the hug. I do that good too. You try, you like, you see. I think you like. I let you be in shoes.

If only love were so simple...

I like to let them be in the shoes too, only if they shoes like.

posted by shane 09 August | 15:20

I may copy and paste that for use wooing girls online. I too like the brains.

[I read it in the voice of Borat]

posted by birdherder 09 August | 15:20

Crap, if it's a zombie, that means it's a zombie that can drive a car! We're dooooooomed!

posted by lekvar 09 August | 15:23

Occhi - he doesn't really like the brains, then? :(

His response, verbatim: me LOVE brains............delicious BRAAAAAIIIINNNNNSSSSSS

(What's with the zombie fetish on MeChannels today?)

posted by occhiblu 09 August | 15:29

You try, you like, you see.

From the Dick and Jane school of dating.

(myohmy, it is rough out there...)

posted by Pips 09 August | 15:29

Why you people make the fun of normal talking? Are mean, are cruel. I will let you be in shoes, shoes of pain and aloneness. I say swears in your ear.

posted by Divine_Wino 09 August | 15:40

Vorga, I kill you filthy!

posted by Hugh Janus 09 August | 15:42

"I let you be in shoes." It causes me to picture those porn actresses who have the spike heels on while fucking.

Pure class.

posted by sarah connor 09 August | 15:44

Are you spankings with shoes of pain. Me like.

posted by Specklet 09 August | 16:12

I can tell that English isn't his first language--if it was, he'd be more deceptive.

posted by box 09 August | 16:30

Shoes of pain and aloneness! Those are hard to find. I think they would look good on the shelf with the cage that keeps the bluebird of happiness and the jar that holds a fruit fly of disregard.

Personally I like shoes of happiness and joy. I found a few at Nordstrom Rack.

posted by halonine 09 August | 16:54

The dress-up shoes my mother made me wear as a kid were definitely shoes of pain and aloneness.

posted by mudpuppie 09 August | 16:57

For the love of all that is good and holy...may I have permission to use this on stage next week?

posted by fluffy battle kitten 09 August | 17:08

He didn't sign it The Manolo?

posted by chewatadistance 09 August | 17:35

I'd respond. He sounds nice! :)

posted by muddgirl 09 August | 19:20

Dmitri's younger brother?

posted by Eideteker 09 August | 21:02

Geez. I thought French people were supposed to be, you know, all suave n' shit.

Comment dit'on "Who's the boss?"

posted by jason's_planet 09 August | 21:51

I think you like the drink and car. I take woman in car and give the drink and she happy. So happy get naked. Get naked and the drink again and again and the naked. Then wake up and no drink and say TERRIBLE HEADACHE. Turn mean. Try give more drink but no and want coffee. I no have coffee. Say I dirty and smell. I smell goodest of all village. American woman is difficult.

posted by weretable and the undead chairs 09 August | 22:05

Ack!! Thank you sasshat and everyone in this thread (especially occhiblu's brother) for making me laugh very much. I find you good.

posted by taz 10 August | 08:45

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