MetaChat - Hey, let's buy an island

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17 July 2006

Hey, let's buy an island

post by: cmonkey at: 11:07 | 35 comments

I bet plenty of those species are the 3 eyed and 2.5 legged variety.

posted by chewatadistance 17 July | 11:18

I would like to be in charge of making and giving out a fresh, fragrant flower lei to everyone each day. If that job is already taken, I would like to make the daily fruit salad.

posted by getoffmylawn 17 July | 11:21

Let's chip in together and make this virtual community real. I'm in. Will my student loan $$ for this fall cover me?

posted by shane 17 July | 11:21

I'll be the guy who runs around the jungle in tribal gear yelling "ooga-booga" and making hallucinogenic potions.

posted by jonmc 17 July | 11:22

I'll be the ace pilot who makes a peaceful living flying passengers and goods between Johnson and the mainland, until a mysterious visitor forces her to confront her shady past.

Unless that post is already taken. Then I'll be the wacky bartender with a heart of gold.

posted by muddgirl 17 July | 11:28

Ahh jonmc, our own resident witch doctor... Will you be having a bone pierced through your nose for the full visual effect?

posted by getoffmylawn 17 July | 11:32

I'll be naked.

posted by loquacious 17 July | 11:33

*dubs jonmc Lord of the Bunnies*

posted by Pips 17 July | 11:33

Wait. Will there be polar bears and mysterious smoke monsters on this island? I'll pass.

posted by mike9322 17 July | 11:33

Also, I question jonmc's qualifications. He can go ooga booga all he wants, but I don't trust a medicine man who doesn't partake in his own wares. Though I'd trust him to run a still. But we won't need one, we can just wring out his liver.

posted by loquacious 17 July | 11:34

*puts loquacious's head on a stick* : )

posted by Pips 17 July | 11:38

*puts loquacious's head on a stick* : )

SUCKS TO YOUR ASSMAR! :)

Has anyone been able to find it on Google maps?

Also, in that most recent pic it looks like it was recently washed over pretty good in a typhoon.

posted by loquacious 17 July | 11:42

Uh, did y'all notice the before and after photos? And the fact that there's no water supply?
/party-pooper

posted by deborah 17 July | 11:44

deborah, Dharma provides the water.

Duh.

posted by mike9322 17 July | 11:45

I'll ride a stationary bike in order to generate electricity for the island.

posted by mullacc 17 July | 11:50

but I don't trust a medicine man who doesn't partake in his own wares.

I've partaken of the hallucinogens a time or two.

Will you be having a bone pierced through your nose for the full visual effect?

Would you settle for the teeth on my enemies in my ears?

posted by jonmc 17 July | 11:50

It's right here. And we could get a desalination plant up and running in no time. Besides, there's a golf course!!!1

I will be the drunken lout who doesn't pull his own weight but redeems himself in the middle of a storm by rescuing the attractive woman who went out in a boat to watch the whales.

posted by cmonkey 17 July | 11:50

I'll be naked.

I think it goes without saying that we'll all be naked.

posted by jonmc 17 July | 11:52

I think it goes without saying that we'll all be naked.

Fine, I'll be nakeder.

posted by loquacious 17 July | 11:53

Will you be having a bone pierced through your nose for the full visual effect?

Would you settle for the teeth on my enemies in my ears?

I don't think so, but let's ask the other island bunnies: It is a witch doctor prerequisite to have your nose pierced with a bone?

posted by getoffmylawn 17 July | 12:00

SUCKS TO YOUR ASSMAR!

Bwaa ha haaa!

posted by Specklet 17 July | 12:03

I'll be the virile and handsome progenitor of the island's next generation of inhabitants.

posted by sciurus 17 July | 12:04

Can somebody build me a cabana? We already have a Cabana Boy.

posted by essexjan 17 July | 12:08

*breaks specklet's spectacles*

(I think the chemical munitions are affecting me...)

posted by Pips 17 July | 12:17

I'd like to conduct rituals: rites of passage, celebratory feasts, marriages, funerals, vision quests, personal growth milestones, celestial events, you name it.

In between rituals, I'd like to lie in a vine-twined hammock with my ocean-eyed island love, feeding one another thin slices of wild ginger.

I'll also look into starting up a nice cargo cult.

posted by Miko 17 July | 12:21

I'll be The Professor!

posted by Cabana Boy 17 July | 12:22

I'll be The Professor!
posted by Cabana Boy 17 July | 12:22

Hahahahaha! I love it when the help get uppity.

posted by essexjan 17 July | 12:29

Oh, and when I'm not progenitoring, I'll make pinatas.

posted by sciurus 17 July | 12:35

I'd like to be Jeff Probst-ish and show up to explain elaborate games residents must play in exchange for Mountain Dew and stuff? No voting off. Just torture and reward.

posted by rainbaby 17 July | 12:36

Anyone else notice that the high points of the island are 44 and 14 (!) FEET? That island's going to be a couple of small bumps in the ocean when Greenland finishes melting.

I'll be the one selling pfd's, scuba gear and inflatable rafts.

posted by bonehead 17 July | 12:41

I'll be the eccentric postmistress who dispenses ambiguous but brilliant gratuitous personal advice along with your subscription to ISLAND NYMPH.

Unless that post is already taken. Then I'll be the seashell mosaic artist who lives in a shack on the beach with her trusty, cute-as-the-dickens dog, zippy, and invites everyone in for tea and mangoes.

posted by taz 17 July | 12:51

The person driving around in the Publishers Clearing House van? That'll be me! Do we have a Homeowner's Association yet? I'll serve there too.

posted by Feisty 17 July | 13:54

In that case, Feisty, I'd like to complain about jonmc. His medicine hut's thatch roof clearly does not match the thatch roof on his living hut. Also, he's been hanging the skins of his victims from the trees in front, in full view. It's an eye sore.

posted by mike9322 17 July | 14:07

You're just jealous that my beauty outshines thine own, youngster.

posted by jonmc 17 July | 14:28

Feisty, I'm filing a formal complaint against "The Professor" aka "Cabana Boy"; not only is he running paid tutoring sessions at his house, in clear violation of zoning laws, but also those "tutoring sessions" are more like "Lessons in Luuuuv"...

...and I'm never invited! *stomps foot, leaves in a huff*

posted by muddgirl 17 July | 16:47

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