Know what chaps my ass? When I take a photograph with me to the hair salon, and tell them that I want my hair cut exactly like the cut in the photo, and I ask them if they can do that and they tell me that they can. Then every step of the way, they ask me things like 'how do you want you bangs, all one length, or layered to the side' and I say, I want my bangs to be just like the bangs in the photo- I do not know how to achieve the look of the bangs in the photo, but you do, right? I want my bangs to look just like that, however it is done. That's why I bought the photo - so you could make them look like that. I do not know if the term for what I want is layered or scissored or feathered, but you can make my bangs look like these bangs, right'? And then they ask 'where do you want your part' and I say 'Um...where is the hair parted in the photo? Because, see, I want it just like it is in the photo. Do you get it - I want my hair to look like this, that's why I bought the photo with me'. And they assure me that it will look just like the photo. And then they say 'How how blunt do you want the layers to be'? And I say 'Hey, I have an idea. How about if we make them as blunt as the layers in this here photo that I just happen to have with me? Did you hear me the other ten times I told you that I wanted my hair to look like this? Because I asked you if you had any problem with being shown a photo and you assured me that you didn't and you said that you welcomed it when people knew exactly what they want. See this photo? This is exactly what I want. Can you make my hair look like this'?

'And whatever you do, please don't cut it too short. See how her hair is about 2 inches below her shoulder, in this photo right here, the one that I showed you, the one that you said you saw? I want my hair about 2 inches below my shoulder, just like hers' and they say 'yes, we see that her hair is about 2 inches below her shoulder and we can make your hair look just like this' and then you look up and they've cut your hair above your fucking chin.

That's what chaps my ass.

Grrr. That chaps my ass too! Every damn magazine says, "Take a photo to the salon with you to show your stylist how you would like your hair done!" Most salons even have books of photos right there in the waiting room. Books of photos that have been there since 1986. Books that, presumably, the stylists have had time to look over once or twice. And even if you pick one of the photos from one of those books your hair still comes out looking nothing like the photo!

I love the phrase "chaps my ass." That is all.

Grrr. That chaps my ass too! Every damn magazine says, "Take a photo to the salon with you to show your stylist how you would like your hair done!" Most salons even have books of photos right there in the waiting room. Books of photos that have been there since 1986. Books that, presumably, the stylists have had time to look over once or twice. And even if you pick one of the photos from one of those books your hair still comes out looking nothing like the photo!

I know! I'm really not a very vain person, and usually this stuff doesn't really get to me, but for some reason, today it did. I think it was her attitude.

I was looking down at my feet the whole time, kind of daydreaming. My daughter was also getting her hair cut, a few yards away. She had seen the photo of the haircut I wanted. She had sat down in her chair first, and hadn't seen where I went to sit down, so she had no idea where I was. After the stylist was about halfway done with my hair, I heard my daughter say to the woman cutting her hair, "Er...is that my mom over there?" and I thought she had a weird inflection in her voice. And before I had a chance to turn around or say anything to my daughter, the woman cutting her hair said "Yeah, that's your mom. She's going short, huh?" and I thought...WHAT. W H A T?

And I looked up and my hair was up to my chin. And I said Oh My God. My hair. It's really much much much shorter than the hair in the photo. And instead of even trying to placate me or try to see what I was talking about, my stylist started arguing with me and giving me attitude. She sort of treated me like I was too stupid to see that the hair in the photo and my hair were the same length. So yeah. Grrrrrrr.

Oh that just plain sucks. I'm sorry. I'm not a vain person either and I'm pretty laid back when it comes to my hair but I think it's more about expectations than vanity. You have this image in your head of how cute that hairstyle is going to look on your head and then the stylist just starts cutting away and it's...nothing like what's in your head or in the photo.

A truly exceptional stylist can not only make you look like the photo, he or she can also tell you exactly why you shouldn't get that particular style if he/she knows it just isn't right for you and then tell you what would be right and get you so enthused about the whole thing that you forget the picture entirely and THEN give you such an incredible haircut that the style in the picture starts to look just plain fugly and hey, someone should take a picture of YOU cause you're pretty effin' hot with this brilliant new haircut.

But sadly, truly exceptional stylists can be hard to find. Which is why people have been known to travel vast distances and pay ridiculous amounts of money when they find one.

And that stylist was completely out of line for giving you attitude. It's true that the same haircut can look really, really different on different people but it's part of her job to know that and explain it and then to alter the style so that it looks the way you want it to. And to apologize when she messes up. (I have a sneaking suspicion that there are a few stylists out there who can really only give one haircut consistently and everything they do is just a variation on that one haircut, no matter what the client asks for.)

*ass gets even more chapped*

Someone please bring me a tube of asschapstick.

My ass-chapping days are over.

assless chaps really chap my ass.

I need a haircut.

This is the photo I bought with me. Embarrassingly, it is of Jessica Simpson. But the haircut is just what I wanted. My hair was about 2 inches longer than this before I got it cut.

≡ Click to see image ≡

And this is what I ended up with! WTF!
≡ Click to see image ≡

Sorry to take over your thread with my hair, LeeJay...hehe. I'm working out all my anger and frustration!

They removed part of your neck too?!? OMG, I can see why you're pissed!

Can you please stop being funny and sympathize with me and get angry on my behalf?? This is very important.

Oh, I am outraged, I assure you. When I used to have hair, I'd pay extra to go see "experts" and still almost never got what I wanted. (But having some hot girl wash my hair nearly always made it worth it.)

Thank you so much for your outrage on my behalf. It means a lot.

*Rubs balm on chapped asses*

LeeJay, until I was in my mid-20s, I didn't even know it was possible to finish a game of Monopoly.

Ico, I have stopped giving the stylist instructions entirely. I walk in and say, "Hey, you're the expert. Do what you think looks good. Just don't go too short." So far, it's worked out great. (But my hair grows abnormally fast and I'm not terribly attached to it.)

Someone needs some AssStick for their chapped ass. You know that pain you have when you smile with horribly chapped lips? Well just the other day my ass was chapped and when I... Ah forget it.

Well, I mean, literally, yeah, it's attached. I don't have an emotional attachment is what I meant to say.

I think I want that haircut too, iconomy (the long version.) Do you mind if I copy?

Oh, and let's go toilet paper the stylist's house.

Sympathy, definitely -- I hate hair salons. I can never find anybody who knows what to do with curly hair, so I quit getting salon haircuts years ago.

And Monopoly? I LOVE Monopoly! Hell yes they better take the game seriously!

What really chaps my ass is how the really hot girl who might be washing my hair at the hoity-toity hair salon I might spend too much of my soft-earned dollars at would be washing my hair in a sink designed to excruciatingly pinch all but the most pencil-thin of necks while I sit tensely trying to keep from sliding out of a chair made for a four-foot fireplug. Fuckin' shorties: I love 'em, but they sure take the fun out of life sometimes.

Hugh, in my salon (well the one I used to go to until yesterday) they fold up a towel and lay it in that curved spot on the edge of the sink so you can lay your neck on a soft place. Demand a towel next time!

mgl - go for it! Please have better luck than I. I have to say, I have never in my life gotten so many compliments on my hair, but I don't care, because I HATE IT. Just in case I haven't made that clear.

I've had the towel treatment, and it alleviates some of the neck damage (seriously, it hurts for 48 hours or so), but it still causes a lot of pain and tension to be unable to relax in the chair without sliding out on account of my height.

And the worst thing is that I try to be nice to the woman washing my hair, and it's such a struggle to smile and look relaxed when I really want to grit my teeth in a rictus of pain.

And she says, "Is the water too hot? Am I being too rough?" (of course she could never be too rough with me, such hands and such a smile) which makes me feel bad about the whole enterprise, so I get a cheap haircut at the barber shop across the street where the only styles are clipped short, clipped shorter, and high-and-tight.

When I die, I'm gonna go strainght up and tell god in no uncertain terms that this really chaps my ass and will not stand, even if he does get mad and send me to hell for interrupting his pedicure. Truth to power, you know?

Since my favorite haircut actually has a name (the A-line cut), I request it all the time and never get any problems. It doesn't hurt that it's the favorite cut of goth, alterna- and hipster girls everywhere and just look where I live!

If I ever get a different haircut, someone needs to check and see if I'm a pod person.

Try this or this the next time you go for a haircut.

I took a copy of taz's photoshop chop with me and said "do that." While she was doing that one of the other ladies walked by, peered over my shoulder for a while at the pic, and finally asked, "How did you find a model that looks so much like you?"

I'm still trying to figure what to make of that.

Holy crap, iconomy! If it weren't for your hair I'd say you're a dead-ringer for Jessica Simpson!

I already told a sister story in another thread but my sister often brings up the time in the 70s when she went to get a haircut and told the woman she wanted it like Olivia Newton John's. My sister sat there, shy as can be, while the woman cut all her hair off and when she saw my sister crying she asked what the matter was and my sister said, "That doesn't look like Olivia Newton John" and the stylist said, "I thought you said Elton John."

How did you find a model that looks so much like you?

LOL. Yeah, you went and found a model and got his hair cut exactly like you want it so that you could take a picture and bring it to a different stylist and request they do the same for you.

Oh, and I have a female friend who insists it's normal to go to the salon, go in a little room, take off your top, and then put on the bib thingy, and then go get your hair cut. wtf?

Anyone know places like this? She says it's in every salon and I've certainly never heard of it.

Yeah, the same place that hurt my neck had me change into a silky black kimono top.

Iconomy, I hate that!

The last time I went to one particular salon (where the guy doing my hair was a friend of my boyfriend's MOTHER, so you'd think he'd listen to me) I brought in a little picture of what I wanted, a bunch of different views of it. He cuts my hair, finishes and blow dries, I look and get a weird look on my face. This is not the haircut in the picture.

"It's BETTER than the picture!"

Damn you, asshole! If I wanted a different haircut I would have brought in a different picture! GIVE ME THE HAIRCUT IN THE PICTURE!

(And no, it was not better. I had gotten the haircut in the picture from another stylist before, and it totally kicked the non-picture-haircut's ass.)

What chaps me about getting my haircut is the stylist won't shut up. I want to sit down, get some approximation of what I came in with only shorter, pay and leave. Ever since the Vietnamese guy I went to retired I've been on a vain quest for a non social hair cutter. Please take the hint that if I'm responding to your personal inquiries with non-committal single word answers I don't feel like sharing.

I've often thought about working up a story about being something ridiculous like a world renowned (in the right circles) snow leopard artificial inseminator. See if I can draw it out for the whole cut and leave them wondering if I was pulling their chain or not.

Tip: If you walk up to the stylist's station and there are dozens of photos of their pets and their kids and their spouses and every vacation they've ever been on tucked in randomly all over the mirror, WALK AWAY. If there are any photos that are actually in frames, do not walk. RUN.