Is it bigger than a breadbox?

Animal, vegetable or mineral?

Yesterday I found a copy of QuarkXPress (publishing software) in my apartment. It's an official copy complete with plastic case. It was sitting on top of a 3.5' bookcase that fits underneath the ledge of the breakfast bar/window between my kitchen and living room.

I do work in publishing and do know Quark, though I haven't used it in years and have no need to, either professionally or for my own writing projects. I swear I have never seen this copy before, and have no idea how it got on top of my bookcase.

There's a few inches of space between the book shelf and the ledge, so the plastic case wasn't easy to see. However, I do dust the top of the bookcase every two weeks, and even allowing for me being incredibly lackadaisical about my dusting it just can't have been there that long — a few months at the absolute most. I'm very tidy and well-organized and acutely aware of exactly what I have in my apartment and where it is.

I live alone, and there haven't been too many visitors in my apartment in the past month or so.

I've had four friends to lunch or dinner in the past month, and no one the month before that. They all say it doesn't belong to them.

No one in my family except my mother has set foot in my apartment since Easter, and none of them would know what Quark is anyway.

Other than the family and friends mentioned, I've been visited by my realtor, exterminators, and the people who rent my condo parking lot spots from me. None of them seem likely.

My apartment was burgled last March, which is probably why this is preoccupying me. I don't like the thought of someone having been in my place without my knowledge or consent, though anyone who had would hardly be likely to plant a copy of Quark and leave.

I'm mostly posting this story for entertainment value, but I've got a faint yet burning hope that someone can think of an explanation.

It IS an animal in a breadbox! You are brilliant!

Maybe I'm just going senile and somehow acquired a copy of Quark (why?! from whom?!) without any memory of it. It's just my luck to go crackers. Next thing I know I'll be convinced I'm Queen of the Prom and trying to seduce every teenage boy who walks my way [sobs from sense of impending doom].

Orange Swan, you have the most interesting stories. I have no idea how the copy of Quark got on top of that bookcase (it sounds like a place that someone would have to go out of their way to place something on), but my guess is on the realtor. Although you would have noticed if he/she had walked in carrying a copy of Quark, right? Did any of these people have reason to open a briefcase or something like a briefcase while they were at your place?

It was the Quark Fairy!

Dimitri wants you to publish your love?

Quark isn't something a realtor would have or use. And my realtor only dropped briefly to get me to sign some papers. She didn't even go into the living room — we just sat down at the dining room table to go over things.

Me not understand.

My friend J. was over to lunch just yesterday and brought his new laptop, which he had out so he could show me. He also does work in publishing (though he would never use Quark in his capacity). So he was the first person I asked. But he says it isn't his.

Do you go into mindless tidying frenzies where you just do it without thinking?
This is how I'm trying to account for it being on top of the bookshelf.
Could it have come in something?

It might come to you if you relax.

If I had any recollection of actually acquiring the CD I wouldn't be too disturbed that it had somehow wound up on the bookcase. The thing is, I never saw it before.

Is it possible the exterminators found it in some out of the way place, moving a bookshelf or appliance or something, and stuck it up there?

Or, it was the software fairy. Have you left any on-spec work-orders under your pillow recently?

Relax.

Enjoy a blackened fish taco and a perfect margarita.

Problem solved.

The exterminators never moved anything. They basically just threw "Roach die-it" tubes in every available nook and cranny, injected dust beneath the appliances, and put a special paste into some of the kitchen cabinets.

And after my meal, I could also design a new newsletter, "The Orange Swan Review", I Love Tacos;-)

I'm not exactly upset about this, though I am a little worried that someone may have access to my apartment, or someone may need the CD and not have it. And mysteries just gnaw away at me.

Maybe Ted Stevens internetted it to you, using his tubes?

OS, is this code? Are you hinting at something my decoder ring can't decipher?

Which version is it?

Can I have it? I need a copy of Quark. The quark fairy was probably supposed to give it to me and somehow got lost (extremely, extremely lost) and you got it by mistake.

I am totally serious about wanting it. I'll happily pay postage at least. If you want it gone, email me!

No code, but if you can figure out the mystery I'll give you a Scooby snack, dobbs.

I can't recall the version - it's at home at present, and I am at work.

I'd mail it to you on me, MGL, but I'm afraid it belongs to someone else.

Do all the apartments in your building have the same make of lock? Is it possible you and someone else in the building happen to have the exact same one, and they absentmindedly used their key in your door, walked into your apartment, put down their new copy of Quark, then looked up and went HOLY SHIT, THIS IS NOT MY BEAUTIFUL HOUSE?

Very unlikely I know, but I once had someone unlock my car with their key before realising that it wasn't their vehicle.

that is really weird--you're absolutely sure you didn't have the box, and put it there while cleaning or anything (or while sleepwalking or something?)

does your super have a key?--could it be he carried it up to check the radiators or something and left it by mistake?

It's QuarkXPress 6.1, and it's an updater CD, not an installer (probably wouldn't do you any good then, MGL, unless you already have an old version of Quark). That's even weirder than I thought, because I don't think it's even compatible with Windows ME, which is what I have on my home computer.

Building manangement does have access to my apartment, but why would one of the supers or the building manager even have a copy of Quark, let alone bring it to my apartment? This isn't some word processing program that everyone would use. It's a desktop publishing program, something you would use to produce a newsletter.

you never know--and i think 6.1 is old now, so maybe it was being thrown out and he thought he knew someone who might want it or something.