MetaChat - Somewhere on Earth at this very minute, someone isn't...

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29 June 2006

Somewhere on Earth at this very minute, someone isn't...

post by: Hellbient at: 10:05 | 45 comments

wearing a hat made entirely of dried peanut butter while humming "Tiptoe Through the Tulips".

posted by Hellbient 29 June | 10:07

using cold-fusion to power their toaster oven.

posted by sciurus 29 June | 10:10

Getting enough fibre.

posted by Capn 29 June | 10:12

...doing what they want with their life.

posted by getoffmylawn 29 June | 10:13

using jazz-fusion to power their microwave oven.

posted by jonmc 29 June | 10:13

using fusion cuisine to get more fiber.

posted by Specklet 29 June | 10:14

Using fiberglas to make cuisine.

posted by jonmc 29 June | 10:18

writing a "Dear John" letter with a yam.

posted by Hellbient 29 June | 10:26

kicking Chuck Norris' ass.

posted by Hellbient 29 June | 10:27

Finding pubic hair in sweet plantains. Oh, wait, that's not true. I just did that. Unfortunately, I discovered the hair after the plantain was already in my mouth.

posted by smich 29 June | 10:27

writing a "Dear John" letter to a yam. There are very few yams named 'John.'

posted by jonmc 29 June | 10:29

Picking my nose.

posted by LunaticFringe 29 June | 10:33

*picks lunaticfringe's nose, simultaneously exploding two theories*

posted by jonmc 29 June | 10:35

staring at the pope down the sights of a high powered rifle.

posted by seanyboy 29 June | 10:36

- working on a sage mms import facility, but is instead posting to metachat.

posted by seanyboy 29 June | 10:38

participating in an all out jazz fusion yam-only band festival called Yamfest.

posted by Hellbient 29 June | 10:38

Yam On It! Yam On It! WikiWikiWiki!

posted by jonmc 29 June | 10:39

(hellbient - yams are funny. You are cracking me up)

posted by rainbaby 29 June | 10:43

Driving on the 520 bridge at a speed greater than 15 MPH (I just checked the traffic map and it's solid red and black).

posted by matildaben 29 June | 10:44

kissing Putin's tummy.

posted by dame 29 June | 10:48

kissing Putin's tummy.

An abandoned Russian sequel to Saving Private Ryan.

posted by jonmc 29 June | 10:56

Pissing on Tutankhamun's Mummy

posted by Hellbient 29 June | 11:02

performing foot surgery with a plastic spatula, using patchuly for anastethia.

posted by Hellbient 29 June | 11:10

I read that as "spatchuly." It's patchouli.

posted by Specklet 29 June | 11:11

Actchouli?

posted by Hugh Janus 29 June | 11:14

Gesundheitolini.

posted by jonmc 29 June | 11:15

Thank you kindli.

posted by Hugh Janus 29 June | 11:26

...using spellcheck.

posted by Hellbient 29 June | 11:29

doing satanic rituals in furry theme-park costumes.

But man, it'd be a lot better if they were.

posted by Hellbient 29 June | 11:31

Wearing a crotchless rubber Batman costume while watching an east-European porno flick spoof of Trapped in the Closet which stars mostly farm animals.

posted by weretable and the undead chairs 29 June | 11:32

only hippies know how to spell that word anyway...hippy.

posted by Hellbient 29 June | 11:32

...being fair to those lovable gnome-like purveyors of luck and incense, the hippies.

posted by Hugh Janus 29 June | 11:35

east-European porno flick spoof of Trapped in the Closet

holeee shit is that a disturbing thought
(Turkish Trapped in the Closet, starring Turkish R. Kelly...).

posted by Hellbient 29 June | 11:36

listening to Tony Orlando while jerking off with duct tape, in their aunt's walk-in closet. Trapped even.

*clears cache*

posted by Hellbient 29 June | 11:40

replying to this post

*head asplodes*

posted by moonbird 29 June | 12:05

giving a bumblebee a makeover.

posted by Hellbient 29 June | 12:05

giving credit where it's due to Moonbird for the inspiration for this.

thanks chum.

posted by Hellbient 29 June | 12:17

...wearing any pants. Or anything at all.

*sips coffee demurely*

posted by loquacious 29 June | 12:19

unsurprised the pubic plaintain went without further comment.

posted by danostuporstar 29 June | 12:21

Somewhere on Earth at this very minute, someone isn't...
doing satanic rituals in furry theme-park costumes.

Hmph. Shows how much you know.

posted by deborah 29 June | 12:33

only hippies know how to spell that word anyway...hippy

It's hippie. Unless you were referring to my hips.

posted by Specklet 29 June | 12:46

...making out with me.

posted by SassHat 29 June | 13:20

It's hippie.
Specklet takes the bate!
You threadator.

posted by Hellbient 29 June | 14:57

...trying to shove a five-gallon water bottle through into an automated bottle/can recycling redeemer.

...doing Wendell's laundry.

...getting sexual gratification from inhaling Raid Ant and Roach spray (although some have tried, all illustrious Darwin Award winners)

...eating a Buick (without a bottle of Pepto Bismol by their side)

...coming up with a Unified Theory of Everything that will not be rejected by almost all scientists and Douglas Adams fans

...getting Wendell's hair cut

...hurting someone else without getting any perverse enjoyment out of it

...making a definitive judgment on whether to spell it "hippy" or "hippie"

...reading my brilliant blog post about Web 2.0... (at least not while I'm writing this)

...planning a 4th of July cookout around escargot

...testing a new set of (American) football goalposts by kicking severed heads through them

...spending more time on "someone isn't" one-liners than Wendell

...buying a half-eaten Buick (I made an offer, but the seller rejected it)

posted by wendell 29 June | 17:05

bate!

Yeah yeah, I commented on the hippy thing to indulge you, but you can keep your bate.

posted by Specklet 29 June | 17:19

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