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26 June 2006
New Business Idea My new business will be called 11th Hour.
It will be like a temp agency, only without advance planning and busy work. I'll hire people I enjoy, and we'll just sit around the shop shooting the shit until the phone rings. On the other end will be a desperate, sobbing person who is merely hours from their project deadline.
We don't care what it is: building a stage set for tomorrow's opening, writing a training manual by Monday morning, harvesting nearly-ripe strawberries, renovating a house in time for that 50th anniversary party Saturday night, decorating a chapel for that shotgun wedding, cleaning up all that awful code, hanging the art for your gallery opening, editing your manuscript, hell, writing your manuscript...like superhero angels, we'll do whatever it takes to get your project completed, then disappear just as the sun rises, leaving you looking like a star -- and a master project manager.
Our motto: "That's what the last minute is there for!"
Our fees will be arranged on a sliding scale in relation to your degree of desperation, ensuring the greatest flow of lucre into the 11th Hour coffers. This also ensures that if you don't really need us, you won't hire us.
I'm only half joking. My new exhibit opens Saturday and I'm sitting here with paint in my hair and wood chips in my shoes. If this company existed, I'd be calling them now. I also thrive on the manic energy of an impending deadline, so I'd probably even enjoy it, strange as that may seem.
I can build architectural models, design stuff, decorate and rennovate stuff. I'm good with clothes and hair and makeup, and I can cook. Will you hire me too?
I want to apply for this job, but as everyone knows, I *only* get things done on the 11:55hour. I thrive under stress. Don't mind the dead bodies around me.
I am not sure what I can bring to the table, cos my job confuses me. But, people seem to like me enough, so I wanna come along. I can drive pretty fast usually, so I could drive the ladder truck?
Richat - you're tall and you have good hair. If I were hiring, that would be good enough for me. You can reach things for Specklet off of high shelves.
Everything will run smoothly until, in a moment of greed and inspiration, I quit and start my own company across the street: 10:59th Hour.
(or is it 11:01th Hour?)
You'd have to call it Midnight Hour! See, you already have a jingle, too.
What a battle that would be. We'd have standoffs in the street, you'd get a big neon sign and then I'd get a bigger one and then you'd get a bigger one and so on, I'd try to buy you out and you'd refuse like Harry Bailey, and we'd have a real corporate war...until the day you took on a job that was just a mite too big and almost didn't get it done. And then, who you gonna call?
That's right, baby.
11th hour bails you out. Then we can talk merger!
Anyway, richat, you can come along and be the DJ. Somebody has to spin music while we work, and I like yours. Coders are all welcome, and makeovers are a great way to pass the time while we wait for the phone to ring. Pup can certainly drive...the car might be a souped-up woodie or a Suburban. It'll have to be big enough to haul all our gear.
The way I envision it is that, I will be sitting around all day, feet on desk, cap lowered to cover closed eyes, light music in the background, occasionally yawning and scratching my butt when suddenly ... around 11:55, the phone rings, and it is you Milady, asking for help. Because you did not finish the project during your 11th hour (I mean, what's the rush?) asking (no, begging!) for my contribution. And then, I will briefly consider it, what the hell, I like her, just 5 minutes work and I am done... OK.
heh...and then some kid outta film school would come and make a documentary about the whole thing, and we'd all get rich from selling the companies and we'd laugh and drink lemonade on the porch...until you decided to start selling your lemonade...
the car might be a souped-up woodie or a Suburban.
No, you need a BIG YELLOW TRUCK.
Possibly with the number 11 stenciled in black on the side and hood.
Imagine the relief customers will feel when they see that scream up outside, stop, make that airbreak "fweep" and a team of professional procrastinators hustles out.
Count me in! I get everything done at the last minute too, so have plenty of practice.
I can build stuff out of most materials (boats, houses, furniture, you name it, I can probably figure out how to build it), fix most things that have moving parts and write boring but politically correct reports and letters in short order. I specialise in cutting through the crap and just doing the job that needs to be done without worrying about the long-term disasters that result (thereby creating more work for the future when these disasters befall the client).
You'll need a fire pole and big pot of spaghetti on the stove upstairs. Also a dog to run alongside the the BIG YELLOW TRUCK when you go out on calls (but not a dalmataion---they're too mean).
photo by splunge
photo by TheophileEscargot
photo by Kronos_to_Earth
photo by ethylene
