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26 June 2006

Get on the pole! What songs, regardless of subject matter, make you wanna strip it all off and/or dance all hoochie-like?
post by: jrossi4r at: 11:06 | 60 comments
This Year's Girl by Elvis Costello seems to demand struttin'.

Turn You Inside Out by REM has a beat that calls for pelvic thrusts.

Baby I Love You by Aretha Franklin makes all hips do a serpentine.

What gets to you?
posted by jrossi4r 26 June | 11:09
My Humps by Black Eyed Peas
My Love is Like....Wo by Mya
Ignition (Remix) by R. Kelly
Rompe by Daddy Yankee
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 26 June | 11:14
What a fine question! My get on the pole song is Glory Box, by Portishead. Granted, an obscure choice. Maybe I'll open an exclusive trip-hop strip club.
posted by rainbaby 26 June | 11:15
"Closer" Nine Inch Nails
"You Sexy Thing" Hot Chocolate
"It's Your Thing" Isley Brothers
"She Loves My Cock" Jackyl
posted by jonmc 26 June | 11:16
*begins work on bunnystock mix cd*
posted by danostuporstar 26 June | 11:17
You Can Leave Your Hat On - Joe Cocker
Lady Marmalade - Patti LaBelle
It's Raining Men - The Weathergirls
posted by deborah 26 June | 11:17
this thread might help

ah rainbaby - strip-hop
posted by Hellbient 26 June | 11:19
"Got To Give It Up" Marvin Gaye
"Caroline" Status Quo (headbanging, more than shaking my hoochie coochie)
"Honky Tonk Women" Rolling Stones (which also has the best ever opening line of any song, ever)
and (clichéd, I know) "Bump & Grind", R Kelly.
posted by essexjan 26 June | 11:23
rainbaby, I am so there with you. That song just demands much gyration.
posted by occhiblu 26 June | 11:29
Lady Marmalade, the new version with Pink, Christina, etc.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 26 June | 11:32
Maybe I'll open an exclusive trip-hop strip club.

*parks self at end of stage with beer and pile of singles*

pink: blasphemy. that abomination can't touch the original.
posted by jonmc 26 June | 11:33
Head with wings - Morphine
posted by getoffmylawn 26 June | 11:46
pink: blasphemy. that abomination can't touch the original.

However it does 'cause tanning booth suburban idiots to do the whole hand waving Xtina hand waving Laaaaaaaaaady Maaaaahmaalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaidde, thing in a pretty funny way on my TV.

My own humble suggestion is Takin' Retards to the Zoo by the Dead Milkmen.
posted by Divine_Wino 26 June | 11:50
occiblu - duet!
posted by rainbaby 26 June | 11:51
However, if you wanted me to be a little more realistic I would say "Hot Sex on a Platter" by A Tribe Called Quest is a sexy song.

Yuck, I can't believe I just used the word sexy. Yuck.
posted by Divine_Wino 26 June | 11:52
You'd prefer what? lusty? libidinous? hormonal?
posted by jonmc 26 June | 11:56
Oh yes, getoffmylawn! Morphine in general makes me want to slither. (And I was going to call you "getoff" for short, but that seemed a bit on-the-nose for this thread.)

Don't fight the sexy, Wino. Embrace the sexy.
posted by jrossi4r 26 June | 12:01
Sexy Wino would be a great band name. Just saying.
posted by jonmc 26 June | 12:03
Also, slow(ish) Led Zeppelin like "Dazed & Confused" or "Babe I'm Gonna Leave You."

"I'm Gonna Crawl" definitely makes me, well, want to crawl.

Oooh, and Janis's version of "Summertime."
posted by occhiblu 26 June | 12:06
Sexy Wino, si!

I also like Sex Wino for that sorta German eighties beer and speed addled nonsense punk vibe.

I generally find talking publically about sex or sexiness to be anti-erotic, that's just my little kink.

Oh, also "Why does it hurt when I pee?" by Zappa.
posted by Divine_Wino 26 June | 12:07
I generally find talking publically about sex or sexiness to be anti-erotic, that's just my little kink.

Dude, that's the weirdest kink I ever heard of! Fucking pervert.
posted by jonmc 26 June | 12:08
Also "War Pigs," by Black Sabbath brings out my inner Chippendale. I'm weird.
posted by jonmc 26 June | 12:09
Yes! "Summertime!" occiblu we are pole sisters.
posted by rainbaby 26 June | 12:10
I'm a Sex Wino, whinin' love in your directioooon....

No. That does not work. Sexy Wino is better.
posted by jrossi4r 26 June | 12:12
Hey sister soul sister pole sister: "Lady Marmalade?"
posted by rainbaby 26 June | 12:12
Sexy Wino, you're fine-o
we'll go to White Castle
and then we'll dine-o
then watch-a Bride Of Frankenstien-o

(Needs work.)
posted by jonmc 26 June | 12:14
Sex Wino!
Take off Pants
Sex Wino!
Pooping While Dance
Sex Wino!
Drink also Fuck
Sex Wino!
Squawk Like Duck
-Guitar Solo-
Sex Wino!
Make baby in Dumpster
Sex Wino!
Scnhapps fueled humpster

Sex Wino!
Sex Wino!
Sex Wino!
posted by Divine_Wino 26 June | 12:17
Are you sure Sex Wino isn't already a member of Gwar? Because rhyming "humpster" and "dumpster" is very Gwar.
posted by jrossi4r 26 June | 12:20
Yay, I have a pole sister!

I'm studiously ignoring the Sex(y) Wino song lyrics, by the way. In case anyone cares. Which they shouldn't. But I just had much very strong coffee and can't seem to stop typing.
posted by occhiblu 26 June | 12:23
SEX WINO GAVE GWAR BUNGHOLE MAN BABIES AND DOES NOT EVER CALL ON CHRISTMAS, SUCH IS THE INTENSITY OF SEX WINO'S COLLECTIVE POWERBONERS.


wino the idiot prince of derails is at it again, sorry. Perhaps we will retire sex wino for now and creat a new thread in the future to designate where you want SEX WINO to put your retarded babies in.
posted by Divine_Wino 26 June | 12:25
Divine_Wino, I didn't mean you had to stop! I was just... uh... overly squicked out by the brilliance of your last lyric effort, and decided it was best to stop thinking about it lest my brain retain some of those images forever.
posted by occhiblu 26 June | 12:29
But I just had much very strong coffee

Saying this in an Eastern European accent make much funny.
posted by jonmc 26 June | 12:31
I wrote that before you wrote yours, this is a thread about songs that make you want to put on lucite heels not about the mighty mighty groin blasts of SEX WINO!
posted by Divine_Wino 26 June | 12:34
this is my favorite thread ever.
posted by gaspode 26 June | 12:40
jonmc, that's how I said it my head, too.

And Divine_Wino: Really, what isn't about the mighty mighty groin blasts of Sex Wino?
posted by occhiblu 26 June | 12:41
also, second portishead. I've done me some good strippin' to that. Oh yeah, I am queen of TMI.
posted by gaspode 26 June | 12:41
Mine too, except for the fact that no actual pole dancing has taken place.

I've done me some good strippin' to that. Oh yeah, I am queen of TMI.

No, dear, that's JTRAOI.*

*Just The Right Amount Of Information
posted by jonmc 26 June | 12:43
I remember at some point reading in a women's magazine that you could tell what kind of guy you were dating by what music he put on to make out to. I don't remember what they claimed the "standard" choice was, but they said that anyone choosing Portishead eschewed cliches, thought for himself, and wasn't afraid to seek out unusual things.

And I just thought, Wait, in what world is Portishead not the standard makeout music?
posted by occhiblu 26 June | 12:45
My world. I prefer either silky soul like Teddy Pendergrass or the aforementioned Black Sabbath number. What this says about me, I have no clue.
posted by jonmc 26 June | 12:47
No, there are certainly other very valid -- and really, better -- choices than Portishead. But choosing Portishead cannot in any way be thought of as "original" or "creative." It'll get the job done, certainly, but it's so the default choice.

It was just one of those moments where I realized how very very WASPish and preppy the writers of women's magazines are.
posted by occhiblu 26 June | 12:51
A year or so I made a mix CD that were songs that made me want to take my clothes off. It starts out pretty silly, but by the end is all grindy and hot. PJ Harvey gives me a wettie.

If anyone wants one, email me and I'll make ya a copy.

And yeah, Portishead is on there.
posted by Specklet 26 June | 12:55
I'd say if a lady puts on portishead it's all good, if a dude (straight) puts it on it smacks of -to paraphrase vice- masturbating in the bathtub with an ice cube in the mouth and waxed assholes and scented candles and I bet he throws his legs way up in the air when he's getting head. Just all flowly linen pants and shaved head pony tails and suede vests with no shirt on and fucking yuck.

Cat Power is pretty good for smootching.

(I seem to changed my policy).
posted by Divine_Wino 26 June | 12:56
Groin blasts and powerboners? You should get a job writing pharmaceutical spam, Sex Wino.

Sex Wino needs an archnemesis. Temperance Blueball, maybe?
posted by jrossi4r 26 June | 12:59
So is Billie Holiday or Nina Simone.
posted by Divine_Wino 26 June | 12:59
Who do you think came up with "Watch retarded sluts get hypnotized, facialized and analyzed"?

SEX WINO GOTS TO GET PAID!
posted by Divine_Wino 26 June | 13:00
Waxed assholes? That's gotta be the absoulute lowest rung on the aesthetician corporate ladder.

Temperance Blueball, maybe?

Temperance Blueball? Sounds like a denizen of this crowd.
posted by jonmc 26 June | 13:01
Billie Holiday is good for smooching? You kiss dead chicks? Man, you are one sick mother.
posted by jonmc 26 June | 13:03
SEX WINO MAKES THE MARQUIS DE SADE LOOK LIKE A LONG DEAD HALFASS PERVERT! SEX WINO GAVE A BABY TO YOUR SICK MOTHER WHEN ALL SHE WANTED WAS SOME CLUB SODA AND SALTINES...


SEX WINO IS BACK!
posted by Divine_Wino 26 June | 13:07
AND FRONT!
posted by jonmc 26 June | 13:07
SEX WINO IS SO NASTY HE DOES IN MISSONARY STYLE IN A MONAGAMOUS LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP WITH THE LIGHTS OUT!

Ok I'll stop.
posted by Divine_Wino 26 June | 13:09
Everything about this thread is giving me a chubby.

(Yeah...technically I don't have the equipment for it. I just like to say "chubby." )
posted by jrossi4r 26 June | 13:10
LAST NIGHT SEX WINO FORGOT TO TURN LIGHTS OUT! NEIGHBORS STILL RECOVERING!

Everything about this thread is giving me a chubby.

Have another:
≡ Click to see image ≡
posted by jonmc 26 June | 13:11
masturbating in the bathtub with an ice cube in the mouth and waxed assholes and scented candles

This somehow makes it sound like the dude has carefully arranged assholes and candles in interesting configurations around the tub.
posted by occhiblu 26 June | 13:14
I am at work, working on a document called, I swear to god: "Are You Having Your Wood Utility Poles Inspected?"
posted by rainbaby 26 June | 13:31
I wrote that before you wrote yours, this is a thread about songs that make you want to put on lucite heels not about the mighty mighty groin blasts of SEX WINO!


Nobody snuggles with Sex Wino! You strap yourself in and feel the Gs!

/Simpsons

"S.O.S." by Rhianna
"Precious" by Depeche Mode
New Order
posted by halonine 26 June | 14:53
"That Ol' Rugged Cross"

"Swing Low, Sweet Chariot"

"Tom Dooley"
posted by SassHat 26 June | 14:57
"Devil Inside" by INXS
"Sweet Child O' Mine" by Guns N Roses
"Light As a Breeze" by Billy Joel (and I once actually stripped to that-privately)
"American Woman" by Lenny Kravitz
"Lady Marmalade", as stated before, the newer one with Christina, Pink, etc.

posted by redvixen 26 June | 15:36
"Pussy" - Lords of Acid
"Closer" - Nine Inch Nails
"Hot in Herre" - Nelly
Any dance-ish remix of "Sweet Home Alabama"
"American Woman" - Lenny Kravitz

Apparently I only associate lyrically explicit music with strippers.
posted by I Love Tacos 26 June | 15:42
"It's Not Easy Bein' Green"

(Oh... I thought you said tadpole dancing.)
posted by Pips 26 June | 15:48
Oooh oooh oooh!

Are You Gonna Go My Way - Lenny Kravitz
Wicked Game - Chris Isaac

And yeah, Lady Marmalade must be sung by LaBelle. I like Pink but there's no comparison.
posted by deborah 26 June | 16:57
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