Does it come with a catheter?

Never mind how much, I want to know how many TVs I get for $625 a month.

Now when they say "everything" they'd better mean it. I'd hate to rush to become a select member, pay all that money, and find out I can't watch a live feed of South American goats in drag.

My cable bill is something like $130/month and I get all the cable channels, all the pay movie channels (HBO, Showtime, Cinemax, etc) and all the HD channels. I think the only thing I'm missing are a few international channel and news tiers. But those would only be another $20 total. AND I get broadband internet included in this.

So, in order to justify $625/month, I'd have to consume about $475 worth of PPV a month. Unless I watch more than one or two boxing/wrestling events (which can be $50+ a pop) a month, there is no way I could watch enough PPV movies or porn to make this worthwhile.

Now, if by "every sporting event" they mean the various league packages, it might be worth it. But you'd have to be a huge sports (and movie and porn) nut.

The 24/7 concierge service entails what? Getting me tickets to sold out shows? Giving packages to messengers? Finding me a rare orchid on short notice?

It seems excessive, but this is probably the sort of thing I would have spent money on back when I thought I could afford doing so (and, subsequently, only briefly could). It's not so much that one would want to watch $600+ of content a month, it's that one would pay that much to have the widest possible selection of content.

Every channel, but nothing is ever on (actually, that's not true - by the time you flip through all 75,000 channels, the next programming block is already on)

That's almost as much as I ever paid in rent.

A friend of mine had used to use hacked "test cards" that let him get this for free, including all local channels from around the country, which you probably don't get with this package.

The porn-to-dollar ratio is unacceptable to me.

Programming, pricing, terms and conditions subject to change. Sporting events subject to game availability rules

All that and I still couldn't watch blacked out local hockey games.

That makes me want to throw up.

How much TV does $625/month buy?

Too much.