heh. My neighbors held a practice for their jazz band all day. Which would've been nice except the singer was FLAT on every song!!

I was really to plug in my 400w power amp and let 'em have it!

Nothing like a flat singer to make the afternoon drag on forever!

My concern is that they will impact some of the potentional sales deals for when we sell the house. Because they are invasive, inconsiderate and they always, always, always hang out in their garage with the door open, drinking beer and there's usually five or six of them there, all the time it seems.

If not for owning my house we would have left almost immediately. But we've been here for two and a half years now. That's about two and a half years too long. I'm ready to have no neighbors and I definitely ready to not be sharing a driveway with anyone else ever again.

Ack. I'm sorry for you fenriq,

My only neighbor problem is a silent one, but incredibly irritating: There's only one building suite facing our apartment that faces toward all our back windows (my office, our bedroom, our kitchen).

It was only the back balcony that faced us, and the local office of our ISP used to live there, which was cool, because they never, ever used the little balcony, and hey - my ISP was right next door!

Then they moved, and a somewhat notorious (ultra-conservative, religious asshole) politician took over the space as his headquarters. And they closed in the back balcony and made it into a kitchen area. AAARRRGGGHHHH.

This guy must have, like, 300 employees (we refer to them as "the cult"), and they are all in the kitchen all the time. Four a.m.? Someone's in the kitchen. Christmas day? Someone's in the kitchen. Sunday morning? Someone's in the kitchen. How can an office space have people in it 24 hours a day, 365 days a year? And why are they always in the kitchen?

It sucks. I hate them.

I also hate my neighbors and spend an inordinate amount of time hoping bad things happen to them because they are bad, stupid, loud, inconsiderate jerks. I also reserve a large amount of rancor for the guy that built this house out of fucking balsa wood.

Someone's in the kitchen with dinah
Someone's in the kitchen I know-oh-oh-oh
Someone's in the kitchen with dinahhhhhh
Pluckin' on the ole banjo.

*ahem*

Yeah, bad neighbors suck.

errrr, strumming. strumming on that thar old banjo.

At least you don't get woken up by 22 seconds of grunting, bed squaking and the very rare female moan on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays at 4 AM.

In lived next door to newlyweds for about eight months in Tokyo, in an apartment with walls so thin they weren't even opaque (okay, that's a slight exaggeration). I loved it. Almost every night, for hours, they would have really noisy impassioned sex. The walls were so thin I could hear every ragged breath. Drifting off to sleep was great! I met them a couple of times, not long before they moved into the house they were building in the suburbs, and they were the most ordinary couple one could imagine. Tigers in bed, though. I can't imagine a more pleasant obnoxiously noisy neighbor.

In San Francisco we lived next door to a very sweet corn-fed midwestern heterosexual couple who had lengthy, very female-pleasure-centric sex sessions right next to the window. Much fun.

There seems to be a large communal house of hippies across the street from me.
Which is no shock, as my neighborhood was once the "gay neighborhood" of Buffalo, and is now mostly hippies, punks, goths, and "artists."

But these hippies.... I could kill them. I could kill each and every one of them with my bare hands AND LAUGH ABOUT IT.

You see, these hippies love the drum circle. The lasting until 5 am on a weeknight outside on the balcony drunk on cheap domestic beer not ten yards from my pillow drum circle.

A friend moved out of his last apartment because the neighbors were so loud, including clogs at 5am and extremely noisy sex for hours at a time.

"Think," he said scandalized, "of the chafing!"

Shit, that's nothing. My neighbor is so bad, he doesn't even live next door any more. Naturally, the old son of a bitch sold his houses to my landlord, so on top of his fucking appetizers barking in the goddamned yard all night, I now have a weeks-long remodeling project starting every weekday morning at eight AM about, oh say ten fucking feet from my head.

At least the workers were cool about turning down the radio. Originally, they had it turned up loud enough to hear over their saws. So at eight, I get "Benny and the Fucking Jets" at about three hundred decibels.

Man, I hate that guy. If I get the chance, he's going to be buried with the earplugs I have to sleep in now shoved down his throat.

But enough about me - how are you all doin'?

including clogs at 5am and extremely noisy sex for hours at a time.

Damned Dutchmen.

/me shakes fist

I got agitated letters on my doorstep from the upstairs neighbour asking me to please not watch TV late at night or at least remember to turn it off as "I am awoken by an extremly loud beep in the mornings when the network stops airing."

Thing is, that loud beep was my travel alarm clock. Which didn't even wake me. I was afraid to breathe in there after that. Or type loud. So I moved the hellawayfromthere.

Is it bad that everyone else's bad neighbors made me feel a little better?

My neighbors are just inconsiderate, they block my driveway with their cars all the time, they are loud at all hours, they throw trash into my cans and are, basically, scumbags, especially the kid's friends who come over to visit, they're either wanna-be gangbangers or they are gangbangers. Either way, I hate going into or leaving my house because they are almost always hanging out in their garage and its impossible to not interact with them.

So I'm spending some time today looking at houses and land. I want to move badly again. I just wish a crappy house in a crappy neighborhood here didn't cost $600,000!

In my apartment in the East Village I had two couples on either side of me. The ones on the left had lengthy noisy happy moany sex all the time; the ones on the right had virulent screaming doorslamming crockerybreaking fights all the time. So by standing at the exact center of my apartment I achieved peace and perfect zen balance.

I have neighbors whose daughter used to be friends with my step daughter (teenagers). Some sort of falling out ensued, the end result being my daughter harassed at the bus stop daily. The last straw was the flyer the neighbor girl printed up with a bad pic of my daughter and some lousy phrases, then she and a friend passed them (they printed up two dozen) out at school. I signed a complaint against her. Besides that, the kids smoke pot in their car before school, blast car music late at night, and generally run amok. I hate them.