MetaChat - In this thread, we make a list of the world's shortest books.

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08 June 2006

In this thread, we make a list of the world's shortest books. →[More:]Or what would be the world's shortest books, if they existed. Stuff like:

A Guide to Proper Etiquette and Manners by Paris Hilton
Advanced Nuclear Physics by Jessica Simpson
The Importance of Anger Management by Bob Knight

post by: sisterhavana at: 11:04 | 40 comments

LiveJournal's Best Poetry, 2005 Anthology

posted by Capn 08 June | 11:10

Being President, by George W. Bush

posted by Lipstick Thespian 08 June | 11:11

Tips on Tact – How to be Kind, by Ann Coulter

posted by betty 08 June | 11:16

Songs I Wrote That Don't Belong in Television Commercials, by Brian Wilson

posted by interrobang 08 June | 11:18

The Scientific Foundation of Intelligent Design

found on the shelf right next to:

The History of Good Deeds As Performed By "Compassionate Conservatives"

posted by mcgraw 08 June | 11:18

Eggplant Dishes I Have Enjoyed by Divine Wino

posted by Divine_Wino 08 June | 11:23

Things That I Would Not Do For Love by Meatloaf

posted by grapefruitmoon 08 June | 11:25

Propriety, by Silvio Berlusconi

posted by flopsy 08 June | 11:25

Farts I Have Emitted That Have Been Entirely Odorless and Silent by Divine Wino's Dog

posted by Divine_Wino 08 June | 11:25

Events to Which I Have Been On Time, by interrobang's girlfriend

posted by interrobang 08 June | 11:26

(Divine_Wino: You need Walter the Farting Dog)

Things I Would Not Do For Love by Meatloaf

posted by grapefruitmoon 08 June | 11:32

My Favorite Pop Bands of the 20th Century, by jonmc.

Capitalism and You!: A Primer for Chinese Citizens, by Mao Tse-tung.

posted by TrishaLynn 08 June | 11:40

My Step-By-Step Plan to Finding the Real Killers by OJ Simpson

A List of Every Town in the World That Does Not Have A Starbucks

Ears I Have Known and Loved by Mike Tyson

Photographs of Myself That Do Not Expose My Vagina by Paris Hilton

posted by iconomy 08 June | 11:43

Gun Safety by Dick Cheney
Screw Nepotism, It's All About Talent by Ashlee Simpson
The Importance of Discretion by Paris Hilton
Why I Love the Green Bay Packers by Sister Havana

posted by sisterhavana 08 June | 11:45

Vaginas I Have Known, by Dan Savage

posted by matildaben 08 June | 11:46

An Orang-Utan Named "My Vagina" by Paris Hilton

≡ Click to see image ≡

posted by Hugh Janus 08 June | 11:49

I'm convinced Nicole Ritchie is a zombie no one shot.

posted by Lipstick Thespian 08 June | 11:53

Statecraft and Humble Wisdom, by George W. Bush
Trailer-tastic! A Guide to Embracing the Trailer Park Lifestyle, by Martha Stewart
Minimalism, Post Modernism and the Seminal Work of Donald Judd, by Thomas Kinkade

posted by mygothlaundry 08 June | 11:54

Photo-Realism by Jackson Pollock
How To Get Sober - Compliation edited by Elvis Presley with features by Jack Kerouac, Kate Moss, Marilyn Monroe, and Pete Doherty.

posted by grapefruitmoon 08 June | 11:56

Aging With Dignity by Madonna

A Visual Guide to the World's Bounciest Couches by Tom Cruise

Colors I Like To Wear Besides Black by Angelina Jolie with a special introduction by Johnny Cash. Photographs by Marilyn Manson.

posted by iconomy 08 June | 12:02

My Favorite Pop Bands of the 20th Century, by jonmc.

That'd be 21st Century that'd be short, Trish. My list from the previous century would be a multi-volume set likely.

posted by jonmc 08 June | 12:05

Damn, that first one really did post. Stupid me not being able to read and then making the same post twice.

All About My Attention Span by grapefruitmoon.

posted by grapefruitmoon 08 June | 12:07

Iconomy Comments That Don't Make Me Laugh, by Lipstick Thespian

posted by Lipstick Thespian 08 June | 12:13

The Amish Guide to Computer Hacking

The List of My Teammates Who Really Looked Forward To and Appreciated My Yearly Christmas Gift of $8.00 Isotoner Gloves by Dan Marino

How to Regift Isotoner Gloves by all of the members of The Miami Dolphins football team (except Dan Marino)

(thanks, LT... ;)

posted by iconomy 08 June | 12:26

A Novel Worth Reading by David Foster Wallace
Steak is the New Chicken by Frank Perdue
Dog's I've Loved and Haven't Killed by Bill Frist
My Favorite Cocktails by Bill

posted by omiewise 08 June | 12:27

The Amish Guide to Computer Hacking

Earl Grey Tea That Didn't Shoot Out My Nose, by Matildaben

posted by matildaben 08 June | 12:28

All the Ways I've Styled My Facial Hair Over the Years by Saddam Hussein, with special introduction by Fidel Castro

posted by iconomy 08 June | 12:32

Current and Clever Joan Severance References for Parlor and Barroom, by Hugh Janus

posted by Hugh Janus 08 June | 12:34

New York Parks Department Guide To Bathroom Sanitation by Oscar Madison

posted by jonmc 08 June | 12:36

My Life As A Man, by Clay Aiken
A Collection of Plays That Don't Contain A Single Fucking Swear Word, by David Mamet*
Things I Love About Blogger, by Tommasz**

*Actually, he has written one and also some children's stuff, but I couldn't help myself.

**It's really pissing me off and I've had enough.

posted by tommasz 08 June | 12:45

The Boy Who Ate Fire And Died.

(story credit - Louis Sachar, who mentioned this idea in one of his books).

posted by SassHat 08 June | 12:58

Emails I Can Send on Gmail Today, by elizard

grrrrrrr

posted by elizard 08 June | 14:51

Admirable Qualities of the Human Race, by Dorothy Parker, with a foreword by Anthony Burgess

posted by elizard 08 June | 15:04

The Intellectual Life of George W. Bush.

posted by croctommy 08 June | 15:12

The Joys of Euthanizing Your Pet Fish, by Specklet.

That one may be kind of a bummer, but these are all really hilarious.

posted by Specklet 08 June | 15:31

Places I Have Not Peed, by Winston, my fucking evil cat.

And the sequel:

Places I Will Not Pee, same author.

After the first two hit the bestseller list, his little friend, my girl cat, will get jealous and release her own. Nepotism, you know.

How to Pass an Open Vessel of Liquid without Drinking out of It, by Cosa.

Then, several years down the road, the two superstar feline authors will coauthor their scholarly piece de resistance:

Anti-Puking Techniques for Felines, by Winston and Cosa.

posted by mudpuppie 08 June | 18:21

Mornings I Have Not Yelled Mudpuppie Awake, by Porkchop and Chickpea.

posted by Specklet 08 June | 18:53

Breasts I have that are not glorious, by Specklet

posted by matildaben 08 June | 18:59

Tara Banks' Guide to Reading "Ulysses"

posted by scody 08 June | 22:05

Men Throughout History Who Have Fooled Us With Their Natural-Looking Toupees

posted by iconomy 09 June | 08:16

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