Yeah, they're pretty awesome, aren't they.

My sister's been visiting for the last couple of days and she just went home.

Why is it that family can irritate the shit out of you doing things that you wouldn't bat an eyelid about when done by a stranger? She has an irritating vocal tic that has just about driven me batshit crazy, the way she says the word 'yes' as 'yeh-eh-eh-eh?' (always with the question mark inflection at the end).

We're chalk and cheese. She's never read a book since she left school, watches all the soaps but never the news, knows everything about every Z-list celebrity, pop star, soap star you could ever (not) want to know, collects ... things - pig ornaments, fish ornaments, frog ornaments, dog ornaments, cat ornaments, budgerigar ornaments, stuffed animals, gnomes, anything that has a dachshund or spaniel on it (she has three real dogs). So we spent a lot of time looking round places that sell that kind of thing.

She has no interest in anything other than the material world, spirituality plays no part in her life. Every problem can be fixed by buying something. The only words she has to describe things are 'nice' or 'very nice'. She never eats anything fresh, only highly processed food. If something costs a lot, it must be 'worth' a lot. If there is something of mine she likes, she'll say "this is nice, how much did it cost?". And then once she knows the price, she decides if it is still 'nice' or not.

Two days is my saturation point. Any longer than that and my tolerance snaps. I know she thinks I'm weird and she seems to be reasonably content with her life (except for always wanting newer, better, bigger 'things') but it amazes me how shallow she is and how impossible it is to have any kind of intelligent conversation with her.

But she doesn't know she's shallow, which I suppose is why she's happy with things the way they are in her life.

Yeah, I know, I am a bitch. But if we weren't sisters there's no way on earth we'd be friends, or even acquaintances, our paths would never cross.

Sorry to jump in on your thread up there, but I gotta say, I think you hit the nail right on the head as to why I think families are awesome:

if we weren't sisters there's no way on earth we'd be friends

Funny how two people with the same nature and nurture can end up so entirely different.

I'm lucky. My sisters and I are different in a lot of ways, but each of them has a terrific, biting sense of humor. That makes everything bearable.

essexjan, I'm with ya. My sister is the anti-me--prim, uptight, overachieving, 'nice', passive-aggressive, etc etc--and much as I try to get along with her, I eventually end up having to walk away lest bad things happen. But as with your sister, these are traits that would be irritating no matter what, it's just that because they're family we have to deal with them. I am lucky enough to have a fantastic brother that I'm really close to and a cool other sister, though.

My younger sisters are coming to visit on Monday for a week. I love them so much. Nobody can make me laugh as much as they can. And nobody thinks I'm as funny as they do.

My siblings are so much older than me that we couldn't feasibly be friends.

Funny how two people with the same nature and nurture can end up so entirely different.

Very different nurture - she was 'The Princess', and, until I arrived, was the baby of the family. She got everything she wanted, could do no wrong in my dad's eyes, she was the golden girl, the pretty one. Consequently she's found it very difficult in real life to deal with people who don't happen to think everything she says or does is wonderful. She's on husband number six, and has had probably 25 jobs in the last 30 years.

My parents had two children older than my sister, a son and daughter, but they both died. My father was desperate for a son and was bitterly disappointed when I was born. I grew up hearing him say, on a daily basis, that I was nothing but a burden and he wished I'd never been born. My sister remembers him saying that to me.

He used to introduce us to people thus: "This is Lesley - isn't she beautiful, she's my princess. And [sigh] this is Jan. We named her right, she's plain, simple and short."

I think The Adventures of Chalk and Cheese should be a nice children's show on BBC television.

feh, Lesley's obviously a boy's name.

essexjan, that's awful.

Unlike Hugh, I'm not really enamoured of the forced-meeting-of-differences that families bring, though I can see how learning to deal with them while young is useful.

((essexjan))

I can see how learning to deal with them while young is useful.

I dealt with it by drinking. And leaving home at 16. Both parents died over 25 years ago, and, frankly, I was relieved when my father died that he would no longer be a presence in my life (although I hadn't seen him for about 5 years when he died).

Philip Larkin got it right.

Husband 6?! *gulp*

Like jrossi, my 3 sisters and I are really different in a lot of ways, but we are all peace loving and non-antagonistic so it helps smooth most things out. 3 of us can be insanely silly, the 4th probably has potential to be as well if she could relax.

It astounds me how parents can be so totally insensitive and selfish about what they say to their kids. That shit lasts forever, better to think twice. But I'm not a parent by choice so it's easy for me to say. but still. I'm just sayin'.

Your father was wrong, jan. He was wrong.

I know, jrossi4r, but he still fucked me up.

One good thing about my sister's visit - I found this fantastic pub in a tiny Essex village where we had lunch yesterday. The food was sublime, but that wasn't the best part. The pub has a huge garden with a big enclosure that has bunnies in it. Apparently they have ten bunnies, but have to put them on public view in two shifts, because the two sets of bunnies hate each other and fight. I thought that might be entertaining and a source of extra revenue for the pub if they had betting on the bunnies, but maybe not ...

Wow, jan. That's brutal; I'm so sorry that you've had to bear that awful legacy. Sadly for your sister, though, being the beloved has evidently been ultimately more profoundly damaging.

On preview: smiling about the bunnies

I'm sorry for your upbringing, essexjan. I guess on the whole we learn to deal with whatever families we were given. I have a large, extended family (of aunts, uncles, and cousins). Some of whom have essentially cut themselves off from the rest of us. My own father and I don't have a relationship. We've tried, off and on over the past (gulp) 30 years (he walked out the summer I turned 10-30 years ago this month, I think). But besides being physically abusive to my mother and I (not my younger brother, the BOY), he was never supportive in anything we did. It was always "How come you didn't do this? Why didn't you go in this field?" But that which does not kill us makes us stronger, and I think I've turned out okay. And besides, having a kooky family gives us all great stories!