So I'm getting rid of all my household stuff on CL. I have lots available--whole piles of kitchen stuff, bed, futon, etc. etc. And a guy emails me asking about the bed and offering $25 more than my asking price. So I write back:

Thanks for contacting me! The bed is in like-new condition; no stains, rips, tears, etc. It was bought new a year ago (so I've been the only owner) and has been in a pet-free, non-smoking household (so no stains or smells). It is a FULL bed (not a queen or king). If you can get me a deposit on the bed, it's yours at $250. When would you like to pick it up?

And then he sends me this:

Thanks for the reply am located in canada but just got an appointed with the W.H.O in Usa and i have to leave fRom Canada to usa with my family and i need to get a funiture to furnish my new room in Pa Usa so i want you to send your name, address,state,city,code and your phone # so i can send you check for the purchase of the furniture ...............Ths check will be in excess so you can western the remaning money to my shipper for the pickup at your residence my shipper is in Pa so get to me asap with your contact info so i can send you the cashier check asap.Please get to me asap so i can send you the check............cos i have to move very soon so as to set up my room and resume work.

So immediately I write this off as a scam. I've already sold the mattress and most of the other stuff to someone who's put down a deposit on it (cash) so no worries on my end about getting rid of it. Also, the email was a conditional contract, if anything, so I'm not worried about any legal issues (as if). But should I string this assclown along?

My default is just to ignore it, or maybe a one-line "Yeah, and next you'll be telling me you've got some Nigerian oil money in a bank account that only I can help you retrieve." response. Should I do more? Just drop it? Have fun with this?

Oh, the other thing? He does know my name and has my real email address. (Yeah, bad on me, shoulda set up a spoof gmail for this.) No address or other info, though, and even if he had it it wouldn't matter; I'm moving in 6 days.

Bunnies! Give me evil plans!

Canadians would never have such bad English skills...

This is pretty good, Fuzz: "Yeah, and next you'll be telling me you've got some Nigerian oil money in a bank account that only I can help you retrieve."

I was going to say you should leave it at that, but this asshole could scam some poor stupid/old/whatever person, and that's sooo not cool.

I'm sure we'll come up with something good, but in the meantime, do you remember that laptop scam where the scammer got good and burned? It was all over MetaFilter several months ago. Anyone?

Yeah, I remember the PPPPowerbook fun from the Something Awful goons. Awesome awesome job...

Well what is his scam? You get a cashier's check before he gets the bed (as if). . .I am not understanding but then again I am STILL swapping emails with my Nigerian friend and his aunt in Cameroon. The money will come though, I know it.

I would tell him that you know what's trying to do, and that you are going to put a Santeria curse on him and his family for the suffering he intended to cause you and has probably already caused others.
Then I would actually curse him.

I'd curse him and report him to craigslist.

Well what is his scam?

The scam is that he'll send a fake cheque made out "in excess" and tell Fuzzbean to send the extra cash along to his "shipper" after cashing it. Then, the cheque bounces after Fuzzbean has sent the money along, and Fuzzbean is on the hook for the entire amount. It's a common scam on Craigslist.

If you play with pigs, you end up covered in shit.

Nunh unh!

When I play with pigs, we wallow in the sty for a bit, and then chase each other around the slop trough, then comes Squealing for Joy class, and then the Truffle seminar, and then we all pile in a corner and sleep on each's others bellies and heads.

No, wait, this was my How to Be An Above-Average Admin Weekend at the Sheraton last year.

Nice buffet, though.

Nonononononononono. Don't do anything at all to piss him off if he has your name and real e-mail address (that goes double if your e-mail contains a handle you've used elsewhere on the 'net). I learned the hard way. There was a guy from match.com bugging me to go out with him even though I had said no in the nicest ways possible... finally told him to go fuck himself. Little did I know he's a frequent PTSD psych patient at the VA and has a criminal record of stalking and harassing old girlfriends. Long story short, he's the reason I changed my handle here and other places plus my e-mail address. I implore thee, just leave this idiot alone.

Oh, and Mr. Stalker Guy, if you're reading this, have a splendiferous day. :-)

Well, it's my name (real name), but my handle is unattached (so he can't track down Fuzzbean) and they've never been paired anywhere.

My inclination is just to ignore it, report it, and if necessary send a "sorry, sold the bed to someone local for cash" email.

But...scammer! Joy potentials abound!

(I'm not even that worried about the real name; I haven't shown up in google for years, and I'm about to move across the country so there's no location attached.)

Then by all means, do it for those of us who can't.

Oh, but what should I *do*??

(My brain is totally out of creative right now.)

your first idea was a great idea. Could you go so far as to report him to...someone? Would "someone" care? Let him send you the check, then toss it. He'll be waiting for his "moving expenses" that will never show. "Check? What check?"