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This is why the drink of choice at Wino Laboratories after a particularly grisly day on the chicken killing line has always been 2 parts Tab to 4 Parts Xtra Stength Cisco and half an Alka-Seltzer. It's "Too Much to Drink, Without Drinking Too Much!"
My standard is the rum and diet coke. And if I drink three of them before the food is served, I'm too drunk to work my fork, saving me further calories.
Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.