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19 May 2006
Today is hereby proclaimed Hellbient Day. Happy birthday, maestro!
In honor of National Hellbient Day, I've erected gigantic megawatt speakers all over downtown Seattle: in the malls, in the courtyards of beige office plazas, behind the curtains at the Da Vinci Code opening. At my command, all of Seattle will begin to throb with Jega music until we all hit critical mass, begin to wear bunny costumes and dance in the streets.
I have also set up special kiosks in largely-populated areas for people who will inevitably stumble out of their cube rows and conference rooms, wondering about the "new air".