MetaChat - I thought it was supposed to be a family vacation?!

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17 May 2006

I thought it was supposed to be a family vacation?! Am I being unreasonable?→[More:]We have a family vacation (three kids (15/14/9)) event scheduled for the end of July. My spouse has decided that he wants to do a major project at this event. This project will take him offsite for at least half of a day (maybe more), and will occupy his time for at least another day onsite. He announced his intention to the mailing list for the event before even mentioning it to me. Am I over-reacting by being annoyed by this? (even more info....it's a camping vacation; I will be less than a year out of major back surgery at that time; the environment is not one in which I can let the younger kid just wander on his own (the girls are experienced enough to stay out of trouble).)

post by: jlkr at: 10:17 | 7 comments

Yes, he should have told you about it. Ask him to arrange childcare help for those days.

posted by By the Grace of God 17 May | 10:24

It does seem a little unthinking of him to do this, I would think. That's all I got, but I don't think you are offbase to be frustrated!

posted by richat 17 May | 10:25

Yes, you have a right to be mad/annoyed. But please, don't start yelling! That never helps. But he better find a way to start understanding your position. Good luck.

posted by scruffyschmoo 17 May | 10:32

How fabulous is this thing he's planning? Is it an elaborate practical joke, or fireworks display?

posted by StickyCarpet 17 May | 10:36

I don't think you're being unreasonable; that sounds pretty thoughtless.

But it might help to clarify why, exactly, you're annoyed before talking to him -- because he didn't ask first? Because you wanted to spend time with him? Because you wanted him to spend time with the kids? Because you take care of the kids all the time and now it feels like you're going to have to work on your vacation? Something else entirely? You may be able to find a compromise if you can better identify what exactly's bugging you about what he wants to do.

posted by occhiblu 17 May | 11:41

OP here...not a practical joke, but not fireworks either (somebody else is doing homemade fireworks, although we may be buying some at the reservation on the way up). It's a kind of cool thing, but time consuming.

It's a combination of factors, really. I'm mostly annoyed by the fact that he didn't mention it to me at all before going on the mailing list and saying "I'm going to be doing this". It's not much of a vacation for me anyway (tent camping for a week with three kids + dog(dog will be kenneled elsewhere while we're on site)), but now I find out that I'm going to have his responsibilities as well as mine just so he can go off and play.

posted by jlkr 17 May | 15:45

Well, I'm certainly annoyed on your behalf :-)

I hope you can work something out. Even if it's just making him responsible for the kids, gear, and dog for a day while you get to go off and do your own thing.

posted by occhiblu 17 May | 23:44

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