MetaChat - I have a month until I can move out

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16 May 2006

I have a month until I can move out and my roommate is taking things from my room, leaving passive aggressive notes on my door, and running into her room when she hears my door open. She's a shut-in, rarely straying further than the garden, and her entire world circles around her best friend and her boyfriend (both of whom live with us). Should I even bother cornering her to talk about it?

post by: cmonkey at: 12:40 | 16 comments

No.

Except tell her to quit taking things out of your room, and lock it if she doesn't.

posted by small_ruminant 16 May | 12:49

ditto.

i used to constantly confront my two worstest roomates ever and even though it helped certain behaviours to stop, it forced me to be kind of actively aggressive all the damn time.

of course i was living with 2 prostitutes and a trasgendered hostess at the time, so that apartment was nothing if not absolutely batshit.

get her to stop taking your stuff tho.

posted by Mrs.Pants 16 May | 12:53

I also vote no (coming from someone whose roommate sounds like yours). Why bother? Life is too short. You're moving out, and soon it will all be over.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 16 May | 12:55

Another vote for no.

What's she taking from your room?

posted by seanyboy 16 May | 13:08

I'd keep doing what you're doing, suck it up, stay away from there as much as possible, and wait it out. But then, I'm a major conflict avoider, so that's my solution to pretty much any untenable but temporary situation.

posted by matildaben 16 May | 13:20

Lock your door, spend as little time as possible in her presence (tho' it seems she's already avoiding you) and tough it out.

posted by deborah 16 May | 13:26

start leaving little haikus about your missing stuff on her door.

Put a scary gargoyle in her garden.

This is absolutely bad advice, but for the life of me, ever since your haiku check-in post,
i've had the phrase "little haikus" running around in my haid like a Ritalin monkey at daycare.

So, little haikus. Little, roommate-solving haikus.

And don't forget the gargoyle.

posted by Lipstick Thespian 16 May | 13:27

What do you gain by confronting her? If you think it will really make your quality of life better for the next month, then do it. My guess is, though, it will only add conflict to an already tense situation, and if she's truly passive-aggressive, you won't get anywhere.

She does need to stop taking your stuff, though. Maybe respond to one of her notes with "Have you seen my _____?" or simply with "Please don't remove items from my room without asking me first." If you can lock the door, so much the better.

posted by mudpuppie 16 May | 13:31

I can't lock the door from the outside, unfortunately, and I don't really like avoiding things that need to be said, so it would make me feel better to say "hey, if you have a problem, tell me, don't leave pissy little notes on my door" but yeah, I guess that might just escalate things.

So far she's removed mugs, CDs and books. Not stolen them, just moved them elsewhere in the house. I hate it when people go into my room when I'm not there.

On the bright side, this is better than my last place.

posted by cmonkey 16 May | 13:45

Unless you have vintage door hardware, the knob assembly can be swapped out for a locking unit. A new knob, a philips and a flathead screwdriver, and 30 minutes - voila!

posted by Triode 16 May | 14:18

Are these communal mugs, cds and books? Or is it your stuff?

I'd say ignore her. Or maybe talk to your other roommates about it.

posted by hooray! 16 May | 14:20

Leave a polite note on your door telling her to not go in when you're not there.

Ignore the rest of the bullshit, unless it gets worse, in which case, tell her to cut the crap.

posted by Specklet 16 May | 14:33

Suggest a series of movie nights. Then play nothing but films about insular weirdos who completely lose it, at least in part due to their insular weirdness: Fists In the Pocket, Heavenly Creatures, Shallow Grave, Repulsion, etc. Laugh uproariously at anything that is even close to the way she behaves.

posted by PinkStainlessTail 16 May | 15:17

That is a brilliant idea!

posted by cmonkey 16 May | 15:25

Take an extension cord you no longer need, cut the socket end off and connect the other end to the door knob and a steel plate on the floor outside the door. Plug the other end in the nearest power outlet. Problem solved.

posted by dg 18 May | 19:15

Update: She came into my room, again, this time to remove one of the many, many mugs that this house has. There are several clean ones in the kitchen, so why go to all the trouble of keeping track of where one mug is? It's so petty that I feel horrified that I'm even associated with it, and it's also so petty that I'm tempted to hide all of the mugs out in the bushes tonight just to spite her.

posted by cmonkey 18 May | 23:58

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