1. Provide a handout in the event he has trouble following you.

2. Lots of bullet points.

3. Pick a friendly font.

4. Maybe provide a favorite meal.

5. After you clean up the kitchen (do it as you're cooking; it saves time!), make sure you wring out the sponge so it doesn't get that funky smell.

Well the number one rule about anal roomates is that there is no such thing as "too much lube" so keep that in mind.

Pink, I hate to sound so cynical, but my thinking is that if you are at the point where you need to do this, you are really at the point where you need a new roommate.

Perhaps that's a tack you could take?

"Look I know we're driving each other nuts, but let's try a little harder to be civil and kind until we can move on."

You know, that sorta thing. Good luck!

If things come to a worst-case scenario, have boffers handy. Less permanent damage than going at each other with fists/nails/mui thai.

Hmm, how about having the confrontation somewhere other than the apartment? Say, over a nice cup of decafe or a pitcher of mimosas or sangria?

i'd try to remember that the roommate is much more stuck and inflexible than you, so deserves a little pity? and that maybe charts on the fridge or something (to make them happy) aren't really terrible ideas?

Say "its not working out". She might be unaware of it because youre not friends(?), just housemates.

In your mind she pisses you off because she's never there(?), but is in your way when she is. Someone needs to go. She's hardly there after all. It's your home, but her crashpad.

Did you find her to rent out the appt with you? As tough as it is for her, she should look for somewhere else to live (as "the rules" go.)

Ceiling fan be fucked unless she's paying for it. But while she stays, still try be courteous; you know her routine now. Just air out the bathroom before she comes back. Her bedroom she can air out her own goddamn self.

All this depends on whatever rental agreement you both have with your landlord i guess. You could be stuck with her for another n months :/

write snippy memos on the dry erase board. bonus points for usage of any erroneous homophones, unnecessary "quotation marks", or grocers apostrophe's


e.g. PLEASE "RINSE" OUT YOU'RE DIRTY PLATE'S BEFORE PUTTING THEM IN DISHWASHER. "THANKS"

and that maybe charts on the fridge or something (to make them happy) aren't really terrible ideas?

We already have a cleaning schedule- trust me, I've done my part to compromise here. The place is cleaner than it's ever been. And still, I come home to a note on my door, "Please clean off the coffeetable and do the dishes". There are about 4 dishes in the sink, and two books on the coffeetable. I am not her maid- we all live here. If it kills her to have a few dishes in the sink for more than one night, then she will need to move out. And I intend to communicate that (wrapped in a lovey dovey message about how I think it's great that she's brought a clean streak to the house, but that we all need to compromise, not just me).

And yea, she WOULD be the one to move- I've been here 2 years, she's been here 4 months. Plus I have a dog.

Although, and here's the real kicker- I have *2* roommates. This one, and the other one, who is the only one who has her name on the lease. I figure, worst case scenario, the anal one bands together with the leased one, and they kick me out. Doubtful, but one must be prepared.

What happens if you just ignore the notes?

Tonight was the first note (aka, the last straw). And I've been doing my best to compromise, to clean for weeks. But the time has come to lay down the law that while I do think it's great we clean, I think everyone should cut each other some slack.

The thing is, she leaves stuff out too! She baked cookies last week, and left them, on a plate, which took up our whole counter space (small place, heh) FOR A WEEK. That strikes me as the sort of thing she'd neeeeeeeeeeever let me do.

Let you do? Hey, you won't get in trouble if you don't move your book off of the coffeetable. Here's an option: Hand her the note. Tell her that this is not cool. Go back to whatever you're doing. In my experience, the longer you extend the conversation, the more there will be to argue about. Don't give her any ammo, you know?

Well, if things go badly, you can take comfort in the fact that AskMe has taught you how to dispose of the body.

Lots of booze.

and girl-on-girl kissing. yeah...

Well, OF COURSE the night I decide to confront her, she never comes home. Bah.