MetaChat - Can we talk some more about crushes?

Crushes make me glad I have a job to take my mind off them.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 12 April | 14:14

I'm currently filled with excitment and apprehension over a current crush (maybe more? Eeep!). Its making everyday tasks a tad bit difficult as I am so distracted. I wouldn't have it any other way though!

posted by LunaticFringe 12 April | 14:15

you mean the stepping-on-bugs fetish?

posted by Hellbient 12 April | 14:15

Shoot. My crushes make my job bearable.

posted by rainbaby 12 April | 14:15

I prefer Grape Crushes to Orange.

posted by jonmc 12 April | 14:18

Ironically, my crush likes Crush. I got a case for him as a present.

posted by LunaticFringe 12 April | 14:25

Crushes make me happy. I smile more.

posted by mike9322 12 April | 14:25

I like ThePink Superhero's comment so much that guess who my new crush is?

Yep. Joe needs a heroine in his life.

posted by Joe Famous 12 April | 14:26

It sure makes things a lot nicer when your crush reciprocates. And reciprocates. And reciprocates again.

posted by matildaben 12 April | 14:30

::blushes:: ::kisses Joe Famous on the cheek::

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 12 April | 14:30

Joe needs a heroine in his life.

Meet me in the park with a twenty-dolla--

*checks spelling*

Never mind.

posted by jonmc 12 April | 14:31

Crushes are fun, particularly when you end up making out with your crush and you're all wooooo!

posted by cmonkey 12 April | 14:32

I've said this before and I'm sure this will be far from the last time: FUCKING GEOGRAPHY.

posted by mike9322 12 April | 14:36

all woooo! all the time

posted by matildaben 12 April | 14:36

This is for you, my Sweet Heroine!
≡ Click to see image ≡

posted by Joe Famous 12 April | 14:36

Woo woo!

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 12 April | 14:38

And double, triple, QUADRUPLE what mike9322 said.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 12 April | 14:39

Crushes good.

posted by Specklet 12 April | 14:41

Crushes good.

Uh-oh. Specklet must be Lex Luthor's daughter. The shaved head should've tipped us off...;>

posted by jonmc 12 April | 14:43

MIKE CRUSH!!!!!!!

posted by mike9322 12 April | 14:45

I've said this before and I'm sure this will be far from the last time: FUCKING GEOGRAPHY.

I totally agree.

posted by sisterhavana 12 April | 14:45

Crushes are fun, particularly when you end up making out with your crush and you're all wooooo!

But what about when you can't? And then you're just friends? And every time you hang out you go home feeling both elated and pining? And then you are reduced to only communicating in interrogatives?

posted by dame 12 April | 14:45

Yeah, people need to make out with their crushes more often. Get cracking, people!

posted by cmonkey 12 April | 14:46

*takes Atlases away from mike and havana*

perverts.

posted by jonmc 12 April | 14:46

Yeah, people need to make out with their crushes more often. Get cracking, people!

On it!

*visits expedia.com*

posted by mike9322 12 April | 14:47

Dame: The WORST is when you and your crush are the kind of friends where he comes to you with all his love problems, because you're one of the few people he can talk to about those things. (adjust pronouns as appropriate) And you sit there and you listen and say all the appropriate things while inside your head, you're screaming "HELLO, YOU DUMBASS! CAN'T YOU SEE THAT THE PERFECT PERSON FOR YOU, WHO WOULD NOT TREAT YOU LIKE CRAP, IS RIGHT HERE IN FRONT OF YOU?"

I had one of those in college.

posted by sisterhavana 12 April | 14:49

*Sigh* I miss crushes.

posted by jrossi4r 12 April | 14:51

Sister Havana, just in case someone like your college crush is on the horizon,
MAKE OUT WITH HIM!!!

Trust me..this works!

Can I get a witness?!
I said-a AMEN!

posted by Joe Famous 12 April | 14:53

Anyone else find themselves with more crushes than ever before, thanks to MetaChat?

posted by agropyron 12 April | 14:57

Talk about your smart, funny, sexy girls... yeesh.

posted by agropyron 12 April | 14:58

MARRIED GUY EWWWWW GROSSSS.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 12 April | 14:59

I like having crushes on cartoon characters. No pressure there. But the sex is pretty disappointing.

It's fun crushing on Specklet too.

posted by shane 12 April | 15:01

Married people have crushes too! Der! It's just, like "FUCKING GEOGRAPHY AND/OR FUCKING ETERNAL VOWS!" for double the pining fun. Yay!

posted by rainbaby 12 April | 15:03

Other people having crushes on me, that's fun, but I hate having crushes on other people. They seldom turn out well and take too damn long to go away.

posted by JanetLand 12 April | 15:04

Anyone else find themselves with more crushes than ever before, thanks to MetaChat?

No. I don't know what you're talking about. Don't be rediculous.

Er.

It's fun crushing on Specklet too.

Woo, I'm crushed upon!

Geography sucks. Everyone, move to Portland.

posted by Specklet 12 April | 15:08

No. No Pacific Northwest. And I'll thank you not to evangelize about that crap-tastic hole in my threads.

*stomps away*

posted by dame 12 April | 15:11

I have crushes too! Only, I don't crush and tell.

A gentleman never does, you know.

posted by Hugh Janus 12 April | 15:12

LOOKS LIKE TODAY IS
CRUSH MAKE OUT DAY!!!
My kind of day...
And I'm VERY single.
YEAH FOR ME!!!!
A few spirits and a smooch anyone?
≡ Click to see image ≡

posted by Joe Famous 12 April | 15:14

I'd join you, joe (for the spirits), but I got an appointment with plagues, locusts and frogs, to be followed by gefilte fish and kugel.

posted by jonmc 12 April | 15:16

I'm skipping straight to the bitter herbs part.

Only mine ain't so bitter.

posted by Hugh Janus 12 April | 15:18

Oh yeah! I forgot...it's the wrong week for this huh?

MY BAD!!!

posted by Joe Famous 12 April | 15:18

nah..just wait till Freaky Friday.

posted by jonmc 12 April | 15:19

I have crushes too! Only, I don't crush and tell. A gentleman never does, you know.

A "gentleman" probably never gets any, either.

Yea, sorry Joe Famous, I've given up boys for the rest of Lent.

So what are you doing the Monday after Easter? Bwa ha ha.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 12 April | 15:20

All I can offer is a gratuitous thanks to match.

posted by Hugh Janus 12 April | 15:22

AS in Match.com?

posted by Miko 12 April | 15:24

Despite the wisdom of Jim Baker in Sixteen Candles, ("That's why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they'd call them something else."), I relish a good crush every now and again. On the other hand, there are countless crushes I wish I had converted into something more...so, the bitterness -- it can set in.

posted by safetyfork 12 April | 15:24

I have crushes too! Only, I don't crush and tell.

A gentleman never does, you know.

It's easier to ask forgiveness than permission, Hugh.

posted by rainbaby 12 April | 15:24

The Monday after Easter will be the official

PINK SUPERHERO/JOE FAMOUS
MAKE OUT MONDAY!

posted by Joe Famous 12 April | 15:24

4 posts on minute 24, magic~!

posted by safetyfork 12 April | 15:26

I dunno, honey, the Monday after Easter is a pretty hard day to get a reservation.... (Supply/demand after a blackout period, etc etc)

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 12 April | 15:31

Well okay..ANY Monday will do me just fine.
As you can probably tell by now, making out is totally my bag!

Anytime, any place..

posted by Joe Famous 12 April | 15:38

Know what's tough about making out?

Stopping.

*thinks about making out*

Making out probably deserves its own thread.

posted by Miko 12 April | 15:42

I just heard that June Pointer of the Pointer Sisters died.

My first thought was 'Jump! In The Grave!'

This makes me a sick puppy.

posted by jonmc 12 April | 15:45

What a terrible day.

posted by Hugh Janus 12 April | 15:48

No. No Pacific Northwest. And I'll thank you not to evangelize about that crap-tastic hole in my threads.

I wasn't evangelizing about Portland. I just want all my crushes to be geographically accessible.

Everyone, move to New York!

Better, dame?

posted by Specklet 12 April | 16:23

I, for one, wish that all my crushes move elsewhere. Far, far away from here. Or just that particular one.

posted by carmina 12 April | 16:47

Some crushes are fun -- you know, the kind that make you look forward to going to work in the morning.

But some are very, very cruel. I've had crushes destroy me worse than even my worst relationships.

A crush is a fickle beast, at best.

My favorite part about having a crush is getting over it.

posted by mudpuppie 12 April | 16:59

A crush is a fickle beast

I need to make a banner out of this. Very well said.

posted by carmina 12 April | 17:06

I am SO nervous about inflicting my crush upon anyone (I mean sheezus who wants to be burdened with some guy's awkward yearnings?) that generally I just repress the hell out of them. They submit wiht an almost defeatist facility, and settle into nothing more than just a little extra spice in my interactions with someone. Because I give them no latitude, it's almost never that I'm reduced to a babbling idiot around the object of my crush. More often, I avoid the object of my crush entirely. God forbid a crush should turn into A RELATIONSHIP. That would really take all the romance out of it.

So if you REALLY can't jump them, dame, you have to let some of the air out of it. It can settle a nice, sparky little rapport which will be a lot more fun to share than a vanilla friendship or working relationship. Crushes are nice, but they have their place. You gotta keep 'em there.

Now... if we're talking MUTUAL, then it works differently. In my lexicon, "crushes" are one-way.

And let me state for the record that it sucks having a crush, as a male, because you KNOW that nothing will ever happen unless YOU do something about it (usually, anyway). I'm sure there is a particular frustration for women in not wanting to be the one to take the first step, either. Must feel like there's nothing you can do.

posted by scarabic 12 April | 17:51

I don't really get crushes, and never have; and I feel attractions about once a decade. Hmmm. It's a worldview thing, I guess.

posted by jokeefe 12 April | 18:50

Now... if we're talking MUTUAL, then it works differently. In my lexicon, "crushes" are one-way.

If one doesn't test the waters somehow, one might as well assume that every crush is one-way. The only way you can determine reciprocity is to take a shot at it.

posted by matildaben 12 April | 18:53

"Taking a shot at it," though, doesn't really determine reciprocity. I mean, not necessarily. Asking "Do you have a crush on me too?" is the only way to go, IMHO, but it's not a route I travel often.

posted by mudpuppie 12 April | 19:33

Whatever, y'all. Crushes are definitely not a part of my universe. I crush out on my neighborhood dogs, Halo and Homer.

Halo is this wild little guy that looks like a smashup btw a Beagle and some weird houseplant, and Homer is the perfect blonde Lab. They are always glad to see you, always in a good mood, and will hang out with you for as long as you like.

posted by Lipstick Thespian 12 April | 21:44

*sigh*

posted by kmellis 12 April | 22:38

I'm sure there is a particular frustration for women in not wanting to be the one to take the first step, either. Must feel like there's nothing you can do.

Sort of, but not quite. There's actually a lot we can do and are doing where crushes are concerned. Even when women aren't direct about asking whether a crush on a man is reciprocal, or about making a move themselves, they're using every tool in the nonverbal communication toolbox to show the target of the crush tht they're open to such a move if he wants to make it. We're trying to send the message 'it's OK to advance'.

With men, by the time they do make a move, they may not even realize that the bold-feeling move they're making is in reaction to a long chain of these 'openness' signals that the woman's been sending for some time.

So in a way, women are often taking the first step, though nonverbally. When the step doesn't result in a response from the guy, though, we have to assume he's not interested. So we stop sending the signals. Either that, or ask directly. But women often feel that asking is just pointless -- after all, if all the signalling hasn't already got your attention, you must just not like us.

YMMV. A lot of this comes from my cursory understanding of recent gender-interaction research, but it does check out well against my own life experience. It's debatable stuff, sure, but might be worth thinking about.

posted by Miko 12 April | 22:46

I've said this before and I'm sure this will be far from the last time: FUCKING GEOGRAPHY.
I totally agree.
I agree more strongly than you.

posted by dg 12 April | 23:00

Miko, I agree with what you said about indirect signals, except that it can be carried out that way regardless of gender (especially if the guy is particularly shy or introverted, and the woman is one who's used to being pretty assertive).

posted by matildaben 12 April | 23:25

True - though I'd still say the dance works more commonly in the women-signal, men-make-overture pattern. It's probably largely socialized behavior, though, so there can and will be plenty of exceptions.

posted by Miko 13 April | 08:35

12 April 2006