MetaChat - Ask Mecha: What do you call that?

Try the Belief-O-Matic.

posted by agropyron 03 April | 15:01

deism?

posted by gaspode 03 April | 15:02

Isn't that what agnosticism is?

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 03 April | 15:04

Sounds like deism to me, too.

posted by tommasz 03 April | 15:04

FerociousKittyism. I hereby appoint you pope. Your hat is in the mail.

posted by jonmc 03 April | 15:04

Any day I'm appointed pope is a good day.

But it sounds like deism is pretty much what I'm looking for. Thanks, y'all!

posted by ferociouskitty 03 April | 15:10

*kisses kitty's ring*

posted by jonmc 03 April | 15:11

second Belief-O-Matic. It's very interesting/revealing.

As a Quaker, I learned from recommending Belief-O-Matic that the only reason Quakerism is still a teeny tiny religion is a simple lack of marketing. Almost everyone I knew who took the test came out "liberal Quaker". (That is, those that didn't come out "reform Judaism"). If more people only knew they were Quaker, the meetings would be thronged.

The hitch: Quakers don't proselytize. They say you're not converted, you're convinced.

posted by Miko 03 April | 15:16

Unitarianism: That which will never exclude.

posted by Divine_Wino 03 April | 15:17

miko
as a quaker school alum let me say quakers do proselytize, a dude just did it to me, only instead of giving me books and telling me about hellfire he just asked if I wanted to get a cup of coffee and talk about the old days in the meeting house and I said "uh, no not really" he said, "ok, see ya around."

looooooooooooooooooooow key.

posted by Divine_Wino 03 April | 15:19

unitarian universalism edged out the others with 100 %(then 97% secular humanism then 91% liberal quaker). Interestingly enough, my bottom one was roman catholic, ie. the religion in which I was brought up. Heh.

posted by gaspode 03 April | 15:27

quakers do proselytize, a dude just did it to me,

yeah, they offered me Quisp and Quake, but when I refused to convert, they called me a quazy quacksmoking queer who's momma would quy over his quave.

posted by jonmc 03 April | 15:34

quit it

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 03 April | 15:38

Quakers qua Quakers don't proselytize, but as (lowercase) friends they do (by example).

Really I just wanted an excuse for my first three words.

posted by Hugh Janus 03 April | 15:45

What an interesting quiz. gaspode and I had similar results. 100% Unitarian Universalism, 98% Secular Humanism, 84% Liberal Quaker. The two things I self-identify as, agnostic and Jewish (yeah, there's a slight contradiction there, but I'm in good company) are 80% and 50%, respectively.

posted by amro 03 April | 15:46

UU/Secular Humanism here too. Welcome to the fold, amro.

posted by agropyron 03 April | 15:53

1. Unitarian Universalism (100%)
2. Secular Humanism (98%)
3. Liberal Quakers (84%)
4. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (80%)
5. Nontheist (79%)
6. Theravada Buddhism (71%)
7. Neo-Pagan (66%)

Odd, considering I didnt choose any answer to any question that referred to the existance of any God whatsoever.

posted by drjimmy11 03 April | 16:00

100% Secular Humanist
98% Unitarian Universalism
90% Nontheist
84% Liberal Quaker
...
15% Roman Catholic

My parents would be so proud.

posted by Zozo 03 April | 16:03

Essentially, I believe that there is some sort of higher power out there (God, if you will), but I don't believe it really cares or meddles with the lives of humans. Like, it could if it felt like it, but we're pretty insignificant, so why bother?

you sound like us Reform Jews too, ferocious. We're supposed to do and care and meddle ourselves instead of waiting for God. : >

posted by amberglow 03 April | 16:04

1. Secular Humanism (100%)
2. Unitarian Universalism (99%)
3. Liberal Quakers (93%)
4. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (89%)

Not suprising really.

posted by seanyboy 03 April | 16:23

This BeliefNet thing is great... I'm a little surprised at two things in my results:

1. Secular Humanism (100%)
2. Unitarian Universalism (98%)
3. Liberal Quakers (90%)
4. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (83%)
5. Neo-Pagan (72%)
6. Theravada Buddhism (70%)
7. Nontheist (69%)
8. New Age (57%)
9. Taoism (54%)

I'd have expected Protestant to appear much lower in my list, and Taoism to appear much higher. Interesting. (I was raised Baptist but consider myself secular or atheistic now.)

posted by BoringPostcards 03 April | 16:32

I think some answers have changed since the last time I took this. I will only burden you with my top 3.

1. Liberal Quakers (100%)
2. Unitarian Universalism (98%)
3. Secular Humanism (94%)

posted by safetyfork 03 April | 16:52

I'm reminded of that Monty Python sketch (may be someone else) where the two protaganists narrow the religion they belong to down through several iterations after which they stop talking to each other. I'd link, but I can't remember the actual phrasing.

Secular Humanist, Unitarian Universalism Liberal Quaker with Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants. Yeah, well that's OK, but you have Neo-Pagan at 72%. You EVIL BASTARD!!!!

posted by seanyboy 03 April | 17:04

I got
1. Unitarian Universalism (100%)
2. Secular Humanism (96%)

but I think mainly that's because I said be good to the environment and the poor. I guess not all raging atheists feel that way.

posted by matildaben 03 April | 17:12

No. I wanted to be good to the poor and the homeless too. Strongly. It must have been some other evil thing I chose that pushed my Unitarian Universalism score down to 99%

posted by seanyboy 03 April | 17:15

I said that, too, matildaben, and I was still given 100% secular humanism.

posted by cmonkey 03 April | 17:17

I just want to know who I offended to lose 4 points on secular humanism. Did I not buy enough Richard Dawkins books this year? Maybe they knew I used to go to a Unitarian church with my ex and his mom.

posted by matildaben 03 April | 17:20

Did you mark that you strongly don't believe in god? I think that's what kept me out of the cold, calculating grasp of the Unitarian Church.

posted by cmonkey 03 April | 17:22

I think I got kicked out of the secular humanist club because my lack of belief in God is not strong enough and I'm only "meh" on the whole nonviolence as fundamental thing.

posted by mullacc 03 April | 17:30

Yeah, well that's OK, but you have Neo-Pagan at 72%. You EVIL BASTARD!!!!
posted by seanyboy 03 April | 17:04

Heh... what's funny is that I actually have family members and friends who ARE neo-pagan, but that's still too much religion for me. Which accounts for the missing 28% of that score, I guess.

posted by BoringPostcards 03 April | 18:03

1. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (100%)
2. Orthodox Quaker (88%)
3. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (84%)

I'm Mecha's token WASP.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 03 April | 18:16

Former UU here. I actually entered seminary for UU ministry, but got pissed and settled with a smaller, even funkier denomination. I actually have a D. Div., which is nice on paper and that's about it.

I am active in a Creation Spirutality (so not creationism) community here, and I call my own brand of beliefs Theurgical Panentheism. Basically means that I believe that all things are imbued with and linked to the source of creation, whatever that is. I also think that, to an extent, we create our own reality. I'm not a proselytizer so you'll have to make me drink in order to pry more details out.

posted by moonbird 03 April | 18:33

1. Unitarian Universalism (100%)
2. Reform Judaism (91%)
3. Liberal Quakers (90%)

posted by deborah 03 April | 18:34

Moonbird, if I ever get married, will you perform the ceremony? Will you dress up as Elvis?

posted by matildaben 03 April | 18:40

I'm reminded of that Monty Python sketch (may be someone else) where the two protaganists narrow the religion they belong to down through several iterations after which they stop talking to each other.

Seanyboy, was it this Emo Philips routine?

He said, "I do believe in God."
I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?"
He said, "A Christian."
I said, "Me too. Protestant or Catholic?"
He said, "Protestant."
I said, "Me too! What franchise?"
He says, "Baptist."
I said, "Me too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?"
He says, "Northern Baptist."
I said, "Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"
He says, "Northern Conservative Baptist."
I say, "Me too! Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist or Northern Conservative Reform Baptist?"
He says, "Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist."
I say, "Me too! Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region or Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Eastern Region?"
He says, "Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region."
I say, "Me too! Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879 or Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?"
He says, "Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912."
I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him off the bridge!

posted by agropyron 03 April | 18:45

i miss Emo Philips--where'd he go? (and Steven Wright too)

posted by amberglow 03 April | 18:51

I'm 100% Liberal Quaker.

IN YOUR FACE, YOU DENOMINATIONAL FUCKS!!

posted by mudpuppie 03 April | 18:52

Never mind the top answers--every time I take this quiz, Roman Catholicism, the religion I was raised in, finishes dead last. Is this a common experience?

posted by box 03 April | 19:12

OK, I finally took your nifty little god quiz. Turns out, I'm that religion for people who don't know what the hell they believe, but they kinda want to go to church.

1. Unitarian Universalism (100%)
2. Liberal Quakers (93%)
3. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (93%)
4. Neo-Pagan (81%)
5. New Age (77%)
6. Secular Humanism (76%)
.
.
.
and so on, down to... in last place... Roman Catholicism. And I used to teach Sunday school!

posted by ferociouskitty 03 April | 19:13

Obviously the official tenets of Roman Catholicism aren't widely believed.

posted by agropyron 03 April | 19:18

Never mind the top answers--every time I take this quiz, Roman Catholicism, the religion I was raised in, finishes dead last. Is this a common experience?

It's the same for me box. I was brought up Episcopalian so it's close enough.

posted by deborah 03 April | 20:43

me too, box.

Oh yeah, and I'm still baffled how I didn't end up with secular humanism as first, because I'm as atheist as atheist can get. I didn't get the belief gene about anything.

posted by gaspode 03 April | 20:48

Maybe the Beliefnet folks are anti-Catholic and pro-Quaker/Secular Humanist/whatnot? Or, maybe many of the folks who take their quiz are atheists/agnostics/nonbelievers, and none of these options are represented. That's the best explanation I can come up with off the top of my head. Well, except for agropyron's.

posted by box 03 April | 20:48

I know quakers don't actually recruit, but if you hand a dude in birks and orange socks a box of books outside your old highschool's meeting house and he asks you to go get a coffee and talk about quakerism and you get back in the car and your homeboy who also went to quaker school asks you if he just put the arm on you to join up, you laugh and laugh and laugh.

Hey Hugh, wasn't it funny how we spent a whole night drinking and whatever and ended up sitting on a stoop in lower soho publically drinking and talking about Quakerism? I say that's the mark of a good religion.

posted by Divine_Wino 03 April | 21:44

It's a damn good religion.

maybe many of the folks who take their quiz are atheists/agnostics/nonbelievers, and none of these options are represented.

No, those are choices on the quiz.

I think it's just that few people ever examine the actual belief systems of their religions. The questions don't give you any hint or any way to steer the quiz to what you think the outcome ought to be; they're based on the traditions of religious thought within each belief system. It's just that many people don't have that close an awareness of the theology of their denomination, so the diagnosis can be a surprise. People may find their heartfelt individual beliefs actually line up better with the theology of a different religion than the one they identify with or were brought up with.

Don't let me get started on Quakerism; I'll bore you with my assertions of its elegance. The theology really rocks, and gives the widest possible freedom of thought and belief within a solid value structure and a really honorable tradition of social justice and education. Consider me proselytizing!

posted by Miko 03 April | 21:49

maybe many of the folks who take their quiz are atheists/agnostics/nonbelievers, and none of these options are represented.

No, those are choices on the quiz.

As best I can tell, those choices are represented in the questions (sometimes, at least), but not in the 27 ranked results.

posted by box 03 April | 22:05

They didn't do as good a job of distinguishing between atheist, agnostic, secular humanist, and unitarian. There are differences. But the last question of everything was always "there isn't a supreme being, or I don't know, or it doesn't matter."

posted by matildaben 03 April | 22:14

/me burns a question mark in your front yard

posted by trondant 03 April | 22:19

Now I'm just confused.

1. Reform Judaism (100%)
2. Liberal Quakers (97%)
3. Bah�'� Faith (88%)

I don't even know what that makes me. Some interesting questions on that quiz, though.

posted by dg 03 April | 22:22

Hmmm, after Googling Deism, I think I may be one. Interesting.

posted by dg 03 April | 22:24

i miss Emo Philips--where'd he go?

Amberglow: he's still around! I just saw him here in L.A. last fall -- he was doing a residency at the Steve Allen Theatre in Hollywood. He invited me and my bf to go hang out at House of Pies with a bunch of folks afterwards, but I had to get up at 6 the next morning to catch a plane, and so we sadly declined.

As for me:

100% Unitarian Universalist
95% Theravada Buddhism
92% Liberal Quaker
...with Catholic (my former faith!) also coming in dead last at 20%.

posted by scody 03 April | 23:02

Ignosticism? Apatheism?

posted by Eideteker 03 April | 23:06

That's the one.
It was Emo Philips I was thinking about.

posted by seanyboy 04 April | 02:08

My top four:

1. Unitarian Universalism (100%)
2. Liberal Quakers (99%)
3. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (97%)
4. Neo-Pagan (96%)

Then, being more emphatic on the high and low emphases:

1. Unitarian Universalism (100%)
2. Secular Humanism (98%)
3. Liberal Quakers (96%)
4. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (92%)

I guess I don't get how this works; I don't get how Christian Protestant ends up as 99% and 92% when I don't believe in a god or as any individual as a representative of any god.

As for Catholicism, it also ends up last for me, and I was raised Catholic, but I bet it ends up last for most of us since the basic tenets are no divorce, no birth control (and obviously no abortion), redemption via intercession, baptism, confession.

posted by taz 04 April | 03:01

1. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (100%)
2. Liberal Quakers (86%)
3. Bahá'í Faith (80%)
4. Unitarian Universalism (78%)
5. Reform Judaism (77%)

Kinda disappointing, as "Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants" is a gigantic umbrella. It's like saying, "My favorite food is meat."

posted by eamondaly 04 April | 03:24

Those quizzes are for joiners.

I'm half-Quaker and half-Jewish (my parents were lapsed Catholic and Episcopal) and I kind of want to live my life like the Ramayana; if the Buddha was me he'd be happy.

And yeah, Divine_Wino, it was a beautiful night, watching the cops watch you take a long drag off your bagged stout and drive on by, nothing to see here, these aren't the droids you're looking for.

As well, talking Quakerism with someone who, like me, sees the world with two eyes, one Quaker and one gimlet, was more than refreshing.

God moved over the face of the waters and zapped me with permagrin.

posted by Hugh Janus 04 April | 08:03

Probably most of us aren't taking the quiz so we can figure out what to join. Probably most of us are mostly entertaining ourselves by talking to each other about our results, just being chatty. Not a gimlet eye here, but just my guess.

posted by taz 04 April | 08:26

Nah, what I mean is, those quizzes group people based on their opinions, and suggest that they might be interested in finding out more about the group their opinions "fit in" with (according to the judgments of the quiz writers). By its nature it's a little joiner-y. But most poeple like clubs and communities and such stuff.

That explanation only clarifies my mean spirit, doesn't it?

Didn't mean any offense, but I'm not coming off well today in person either.

posted by Hugh Janus 04 April | 09:08

Well, I admit that I was kind of poking you, but this is a community... so posting anything, here, even if it's ragging on perceived join-iness, is sort of joiner-y, ipso facto.

Maybe I'm a little jaded by seeing a lot of comments like this at mefi whenever there's any sort of quiz/poll/etc. posted. Somebody always has to point out that they are an individooal, not just one of the herd like everybody else responding in the thread, and I'm always thinking, "huh? You're the only one who took it seriously enough to work up some big statement about how it doesn't apply to you and what a rebel you are. The rest of us took it for granted."

posted by taz 04 April | 09:34

I think sometimes the fact that I don't do meffy makes me more abrasive than is the norm here, since I think the norm may be that people air shit over there and do the nicey-nice here. So I have that against me.

I rarely say or post anything that isn't some kind of joke on myself. Self-loathing and self-love course through my veins in unequal measures. Some days one is in ebb, some days the other.

Think of me as an asshole with a heart of gold: I'm the only rebel here and the rest of you took it for granted are as accurate and presumptuous as you are all joiners. Sorry. I was half goofing on me and half being an asshole. My fault all around.

Some big statement, huh?

posted by Hugh Janus 04 April | 10:07

My Top Five:

1. Reform Judaism (100%)
2. Liberal Quakers (87%)
3. Orthodox Judaism (80%)
4. Sikhism (79%)
5. Unitarian Universalism (79%)

I'm Jewish, though I'm in the Conservative branch. (halfway between Reform and Orthodox) That's about right. : )

posted by sisterhavana 04 April | 10:35

I'm probably a better follower than you are a leader, I always say.

posted by eamondaly 04 April | 15:16

What, no Spaghetti Monsterism?

posted by matildaben 04 April | 15:29

Huh, mine has changed since last time I took the belief o'matic - the position of Mahayana Buddhism and Neo Pagan has switched. Asheville must be getting to me. It's not surprising though - I am pretty much a practicing Buddhist and have been for a long time. When I'm not out sacrificing things to oak trees with my little golden sickle, that is.
1. Neo-Pagan (100%)
2. Mahayana Buddhism (98%)
3. New Age (87%)
4. Theravada Buddhism (87%)
5. Unitarian Universalism (87%)
6. Hinduism (80%)
7. Liberal Quakers (79%)
8. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (72%)
9. Taoism (72%)
10. Jainism (67%)

posted by mygothlaundry 04 April | 15:47

I'm a full-on atheist (sorry, I actually tried to answer ferociouskitty's question).

posted by Eideteker 04 April | 21:30

The quiz didn't work for me. I also disagree with their statement on Taoism:

A 2,500-plus-year-old spiritual practice, Taoism (not unlike Zen) is like a "finger pointing at the moon."

That is wrong, because Zen Buddhism is the Japanese importation of a Chinese Buddhism which took many concepts directly from Taoism. Also, while it is true that Taoism has been performed as a spiritual practice for a very long time, the original text is closer to a work of philosophy than of spirituality. In fact, it was the basis of some very complex Chinese philosophical debate which anticipates postmodernist thought by more than a millenium. The spiritual practice that the site is probably referring to was connected to this intellectual tradition in name only.

This site seems to be explaining all of the religions in Euro-centric terms, saying what they "think" about science, gods, good, evil, and so on. Taoism and Buddhism in its more philosophical traditions assert an invalidation of these terms, so really the site is putting square pegs into round holes.

This mis-represents major, established interpretations of Taoism and Buddhism, and I wouldn't be surprised if the site is also misrepresenting large traditions within the other non-Western religions it covers.

Argh. I want to throw Foucault and Whorf at it. I'm frustrated. This is just a quiz I know, but I don't like it.

posted by halonine 04 April | 21:36

03 April 2006