MetaChat - What not to do at 1 a.m.

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31 March 2006

What not to do at 1 a.m. →[More:]There's an alarm system in my place. I don't use it - it was installed by the builders and I haven't touched it since I moved in.

About 15 minutes ago, I started hearing this chirping from downstairs and it turns out it's the alarm system with the "trouble" light flashing. Since this periodic electronic warning beep would keep me up all night if I let it go, I start pushing buttons to see if I could get it to turn off. Yay! I got it to turn off.
Not quitting while I'm ahead, I keep pushing buttons, watching the flashing lights turn on and off. Of course, the alarm goes off and it's this piercing shrieking alarm and none of the buttons I'm pushing is making a difference to stop this thing. There's a numeric keypad and three oblong buttons marked "F", "A", and "P" in that order - yes, it's very intuitive. So whoopee, my adrenaline's surging like high tide at Big Sur and the fucking alarm isn't shutting off and I'm just sure that I'm waking up the whole building and GOOD GOD WHY DOESN'T THIS TURN OFF???

I throw the circuit breakers for my entire apartment and the thing slows down a bit - the shrieking sounds like it's losing juice. I isolate the one breaker which seems to feed it, turning the rest of them back on. The alarm's still going strong though, and I have visions of the bloody thing running out of juice at five in the morning. I have no idea who to call and I'm dialing this random number written in black sharpie on a metal box in my closet when the alarm shuts off. And the silence is golden.

So kiddies, next time the alarm system which you don't use starts beeping and flashing its "trouble" light, just ignore it. You'd be better off.

post by: ooga_booga at: 04:01 | 12 comments

aw, ooga - that sounds fairly nightmarish, poor thing. At least it sounds like you didn't have to deal with armed authority figures as a result, which is just about the only thing that could have made it worse.

posted by taz 31 March | 06:38

I had an unpleasant alarm experience at my grandmother's house when I was the only person there. I'm sure many people can manage to be casual and calm while the house is screaming, but I'm not one of them. I guess this kind of thing happens a lot—but, damn, just reading your story made my heart race.

When I was a commercial radio disc-jockey at the tender age of 18, I worked overnight at the AM station and sorta watched over the FM station which was automated. Occasionally something would go wrong. And the dead-air siren would spin up. So the siren was blaring and I run into the room with all the reel-to-reels and one has a tape flapping around a wildly spinning take-up reel and I'm thinking about all those people who are wondering if their radio broke or something. And, oh yeah, my three and a half minute song I'm playing on the AM station is about to end and I haven't cued anything up. So the tape's spinning, the alarm is wailing, and now there's dead air on the AM station, too, excepting for the telltale skip, skip of a needle tracking the end spiral of a 45.

Fun times.

posted by kmellis 31 March | 07:04

excepting for the telltale skip, skip of a needle tracking the end spiral of a 45.

I think today it would be kind comforting to hear that skip of a 45 at the end of a groove on an AM station.

posted by Slack-a-gogo 31 March | 07:11

Our smoke detector battery died around 3am once. Apprently there's also some kind of wired connection to it also. Every minute or so, we got the chirp - sounded like a sneaker on a gym floor. Once we isolated the detector as the source, it was removal time. That involved lugging out a 10' tall fiberglass ladder (yes the same one that is my annual xmas tree) to reach the thing on an 11' ceiling. Except disconnecting it and taking out the battery didn't stop the chirping. Neither did putting it in the fridge. I ended up toodling barefoot across the parking lot on a 30* night to throw the fucker in the car and go back to bed.

posted by chewatadistance 31 March | 07:32

Neither did putting it in the fridge.

I commend you for trying that one. A few years ago I saw beat to hell smoke detector on the sidewalk, and now I realize that somebody must've thrown theirs out the window in the middle of the night.

posted by Slack-a-gogo 31 March | 07:44

This is why alarms scare hell out of me. I know I've got it in me to mess something up like this.

posted by omiewise 31 March | 09:32

I'm guessing F A P stand for Fire, Ambulance, and Police.

posted by Rhomboid 31 March | 09:37

Close, but it's actually Fire, Artillery and Police. Don't hit the A button... just... don't.

posted by Capn 31 March | 10:54

Poor ooga!

posted by Frisbee Girl 31 March | 10:57

Artillery! Bombs drop from the ceiling when pressed?

posted by chewatadistance 31 March | 11:27

I was working at a local radio station some years ago. The station was located downtown in the city I live in and one night I had been out drinking some beers with some friends. It was getting late and people were starting to go home.

I was really making progress with this girl so I suggested to her that we go to the radio station and drink a couple of beers. I'd show her around, we'd play some music, one thing would hopefully lead to another.

Well, I hadn't thought about the fact that the station was closed for the night and whoever left last had set the alarm. I had a key and I think you can guess what happened.

I don't think I ever saw that girl again.

What actually happened: The alarm went off. In my drunken teenage stupidity I couldn't remember the PIN for turning it off and I had to call the security company and tell them who I was, including my address and phone number. In my panic I didn't remember to press 0 to reach and outside line so the alarm sounded for several minutes before I even got in touch with the security people. I did not seem like the cool radio star I had previously considered myself.

Somehow my boss at the radio station never mentioned it to me and I kept working there for quite some time after that.

I don't think I've ever told anyone this story.

posted by sveskemus 31 March | 12:36

Finally at work - weirdly enough I was able to get up on time despite last night's shenanigans.

Taz - heh, I was wondering if there was a flashing LED over at police HQ because of me. Then again, considering the response time of our local constabulary I probably shouldn't have worried about it even if there had been one.

kmellis - yeah, my heart was redlining at the noise. I had no idea these things were so loud, and the alarm keypad is situated right under the alarm itself, so I was getting both barrels in the face as I was mashing those buttons.

Capn - I should have called the artillery down - it probably would have knocked the alarm out much more quickly. Personally, I thought the system was designed by some FARKer who was making some lame "fap fap fap" joke.

Thanks for your alarming alarm stories, folks!

posted by ooga_booga 31 March | 13:03

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