MetaChat - So,

Won't happen.

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 20 March | 13:40

*hugs* You might be able to crash with me for a while if you can't find a new place in time. Not sure where we'd put the CDs/vinyl/books, though.

posted by TrishaLynn 20 March | 13:48

Hey, I'm taking a mental health day too. I was sitting at work thinking about how my nasal passages are stuffed to hell, and how I'm getting laid off in 2 weeks and have to start my new job 2 days after that, and I just said to myself "Fuck this". Took my things and went home.

There's always a Metachat Crash Couch in PWM for one and all.

posted by selfnoise 20 March | 13:51

YSI is working again, so instead of making the post, I'll put it in here. It'll make me feel better:

Sharing music with my friends makes me feel better.

And it feels very weird sometimes that the friends I feel closest to lately are a bunch of pixels on a screen. So here goes:

Today we have a stomping anthem from a criminally overlooked artist, the most badassed female rocker covering an unreleased Springsteen gem, the Boss himself with a pointed protest song, and one of the wildest, wooliest doo-wop records of all-time. To top it all off, Phil Spector's most over-the-top production ever...

Garland Jeffreys - R.O.C.K.
Joan Jett & the Blackhearts - Light Of Day
Bruce Springsteen - Roulette
Eternals - Babalu's Wedding Day
Ike & Tina Turner - River Deep, Mountain High

Listen and enjoy. I'll pretend you're all hanging out here singing along with me.OK, YSI is back, and sharing music with my friends

posted by jonmc 20 March | 13:55

(ignore bad formatting at the end)

posted by jonmc 20 March | 13:55

And even if all that did happen: so what?

* you won't lose your friends
* you will always have couches to crash on while you are apartment hunting
* being without a gf is probably a Good Thing for you at the moment
* you'd be able to find a new job (not necessarily a great job, but one to tide you over) fine.

Don't wallow: shit rarely works out as badly as you imagine it will.

posted by gaspode 20 March | 13:57

Exactly, gaspode. I almost posted the same thing myself. You'll survive jonmc! You're a fighter!

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 20 March | 13:58

Breathe deep tiger. One thing at a time. You'll get it sorted, the apartment thing always breaks all at once. There are always jobs, some suck more than others. If society collapses I'll pay you to sit on my stash of scotch, Lucky Strikes and shotgun shells and keep people away unless they know who the keyboard player for Procul Harum was.

Here, I'll help keep you focused. If you can't find an apartment or you lose your job I'll fucking beat your head in with a cast iron frying pan.

There, don't you feel better?

* being without a gf is probably a Good Thing for you at the moment

I'm going to ditto this, Gaspode is scientist-pugilist!

posted by Divine_Wino 20 March | 14:01

You won't lose your friends, that's for sure.

I'd share my last sip of ripple with you as we sat in some siding in Santa Fe, or Omaha, or wherever, watching the sparrows fuck and looking out for railroad dicks.

It's like some kinda NYC hardcore sentiment, blended with hobo signs:

Brother! Forever! I got your back, MAN!!

≡ Click to see image ≡

I'm channeling a heady mixture of Woody Guthrie and Sick Of It All.

posted by Hugh Janus 20 March | 14:01

Exactly, gaspode. I almost posted the same thing myself. You'll survive jonmc! You're a fighter!

And if you don't, hey, at least there will be a lot of babes at the funeral. Not many of us can say that.

posted by Eideteker 20 March | 14:05

Thanks, guys. It's kind of embarassing showing this side of myself, but I can't think of other people to show it to.

*goes to fridge for a beer*

at 6, I gotta call this chick in Sunnyside to go see her place. The guy in Billyburg said I'd hear about the place today or tommorrow. Of course he was also wearing glitter polish on his toenails*, so who the hell knows? The place with the two air-conditioning mechanics from Ireland should be letting me know sometime this week. I'm pumping enough stomach acid to burst a dam.

(5 gazillion people looking for apartments in this city and I encounter him and the omelet lady. this freakmagnet thing isn't always what it's cracked up to be)

posted by jonmc 20 March | 14:06

It's not a bad thing to lean on friends when you can. That's how I got through Kelly's death.

posted by TrishaLynn 20 March | 14:08

Keep ya head up Johnny Mac
The shit will get better

Might not have an apartment
But, you'll get it together

You may think it's stormy weather
But, you ain't in the shredder

You'll be makin' cheddar soon
And fuckin' chicks named Heather

Wearin' top line flannel shirts
And rock tour sweaters

You my dawg like like Marmaduke
Scooby and Irish Setters

Word

posted by Joe Famous 20 March | 14:09

I like Hugh's hobo brotherhood fantasy better than my apocalypso booze hoarding patronage fantasy. Tell you what, hold tight and I'll meet you somewhere along the line with a stolen chicken we can boil in a jerry can, a gallon of cold white port and three cigar stubs on toothpicks.

posted by Divine_Wino 20 March | 14:10

First name Joe, last name Famous.

posted by Divine_Wino 20 March | 14:11

JOE!

Welcome aboard, my man. Everybody give a warm mecha welcome to my down-home running mate joe famous!

posted by jonmc 20 March | 14:12

And fuckin' chicks named Heather

*laughs*

(dude, that's the first name of my famous lesbian jonmc-with-boobies ex. that'd be just too fucking weird)

posted by jonmc 20 March | 14:13

jmc, the captions you wrote for your "day in the life" set read like a children's sing-along book. Not bad, but certainly not what I expected.

posted by Frisbee Girl 20 March | 14:15

Which reminds me, jon, did you want me to email Kevin, Annie, Pete and Chuck the link to the set?

posted by TrishaLynn 20 March | 14:16

it was an idea we came up with. I'm not sure why.

posted by jonmc 20 March | 14:16

sure, trish, g'head.

posted by jonmc 20 March | 14:17

Like I said, not bad, just a little different. And, worry not, my friend, you'll land on your feet and being single right now is truly a blessing. Your new dance partner will come along at the right time.

posted by Frisbee Girl 20 March | 14:22

... the friends I feel closest to lately are a bunch of pixels on a screen.

I hear ya, jon. These are some nice words. Don't know about the rest of your worries but it seems *you* will never run out of friends. And that is more important. Take it easy now.

posted by carmina 20 March | 14:24

I know. Sometimes though, next to people like say, gaspode, for example, I feel like such an incompetent bumbler at life. I used to revel in that role, but it's getting old, frankly.

posted by jonmc 20 March | 14:25

Stay Positive!

posted by seanyboy 20 March | 14:30

also did anybody snag the tunes? they're really good ones and I dug pretty deep for them.

posted by jonmc 20 March | 14:30

I did. Haven't had a chance to listen to them, yet, though.

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 20 March | 14:34

We can't all be gaspode, jonmc. She's pretty ginchy.

You'll land on your feet, my friend. I don't doubt it for a second.

posted by jrossi4r 20 March | 14:34

Jon: I don't know how you feel about Jimmy Cliff's "Sitting in Limbo", but that's one I prescribe myself in moods like yours.

There's a certain anxiety that comes from not being able to visualize the near-term future. That's what makes apartment-hunting so hard. You try to look ahead at yourself in three-four months' time, and because you don't know what the concrete environment around you will be like, you get a space-floating, uncertain feeling that bleeds over into other areas. I suspect that once you resolve the place-to-live thing, the other things will cease to worry you as much, too.

There's my attempt at words of comfort from a sincere pixelfriend.

And I, too, am in favor of any and all references to hobo life, used as frequently as possible. Including a revival of hobo signs.

posted by Miko 20 March | 14:38

Jon, feel better man. I feel all those things and more, and I know it's gonna work out alright.

(i'm getting the tunes now.)

posted by omiewise 20 March | 14:39

There's a certain anxiety that comes from not being able to visualize the near-term future.

Bingo. Two months from now, I could be securely in a great new space or crawling back to my parents' attic with my tail between my legs. That's a freaky feeling.

posted by jonmc 20 March | 14:43

jonmc, we all have our ups and downs, I'm out of work right now and realizing that if we sell our current house, we will not make enough to buy another one.

I'm gonna crank some tunes, blow a tube and enjoy the rain!

And if you were anywhere nearby, brother Jon, I would very happily help out either commiserating or helping the apartment search.

posted by fenriq 20 March | 14:44

and this song is for miko, frisbee girl, trishalynn, gaspode, jrossi4r, carmina, matildaben and all the other MeCha Sisters Of The Sun.

posted by jonmc 20 March | 14:46

Alright. Your self pity has pulled me back into the screen, because I am the Queen of Self Pity, goddamnit, and you're on MY turf now, me boyo. DW is right, the apartment thing always breaks just when it looks hopeless. Gaspode is right, you're not ready for a girlfriend yet, and I am right: you're not going to lose your job, because your worries about your job situation are the equivalent of hearing serial killers in the middle of the night - if they're going to get you, they'll just do it, they won't walk around the house making creepy noises 17 times first. If the Powers That Be at your job were going to get rid of you they'd have already done it but they haven't, so they won't. Ignore the mumblings of your worried inner chicken and carry on. Also, I find it helps, speaking as the Queen of Self Pity, to remove your focus from realistic day to day worries and, instead, pity yourself for large and unrealistic things, such as global thermonuclear war and how really unfair it is that you weren't born into a time when you could carry a big ass sword around whenever you felt like it.

In other words, dahlink, the world will break, or not, as it does, and you're doing all that can be done, which is good, and control is essentially an illusion anyway, so embrace the Tao, keep on searching knowing that your feet are on the correct path, take a deep breath, let it go and hey, this is life. It will be okay, one way or the other or even the other one, in which you get sucked into a mystery vortex and emerge on the Planet of Large Eared Beings.

I have never heard the omelette story, just meta references to the omelette story, and I want to hear the omelette story.

posted by mygothlaundry 20 March | 14:48

Yo John...it could be Heather Locklear..

(she still hot, no?)

posted by Joe Famous 20 March | 14:49

the omelet story

posted by jonmc 20 March | 14:50

Going back to what you said earlier, I had two of the trifecta down at one point (no job, no boyfriend) back in 2004 and I was running out of unemployment money; it just wasn't enough to even cover living in a tiny room in East Flatbush and still be able to eat. I was terrified at the thought of having to go back home. I hate to be a bit of a downer, but at least your family's in the same time zone as you. Mine's over 3,000 miles away and thinking about having to figure out how I'd move back to Cali from here was causing me ulcers. So then, of course, when I start seriously planning my extraction from NYC is when I got the job here. And that's where I met you.

I know you're about as Catholic as I am, but I can only say that the Lord works in mysterious ways. And then I'll quote "The Sound of Music" and say that when the Lord closes a door, He opens a window.

And then I'll run into the hills, twirling around like a madwoman.

P.S. Fellow lapsed Catholics, represent!

posted by TrishaLynn 20 March | 14:52

Strangely enough, Sick Of It All have some kind and timely advice:

Thinking back on what we had
want to give in, want to give up
despair washes over you
where do you go, what will you do
your mind is racing in a million directions all at once
where will you turn
you're not in this all alone
just look around, and you'll see
the answers right before your eyes
I'm here for you, and you for me
It's hard to open up, just try and you'll see
True friends will always be there

Thinking back on what we had
all those times we shared
all those times good and bad
our growing friendship has formed a bond
Never ending

You were there through it all, now it's my turn
there's no doubt, good lookin' out
when life's not fair
True friends will always be there

≡ Click to see image ≡

posted by Hugh Janus 20 March | 14:55

Soon enough Mr. MC, I'll be hookin' you up with nothing but top shelf..errr. BUTT!
And you know what they say..

"A little booty a day kepp the blues at bay!"

posted by Joe Famous 20 March | 14:57

I humbly offer Ace of Spades performed by marionettes.

posted by Armitage Shanks 20 March | 15:00

Yo, joe, what's the good word?

posted by Hugh Janus 20 March | 15:05

jon: If you live long enough, everything works out. It's true. Breathe through your nose and all will be OK.

And Armitage Shanks is my new hero.

posted by bmarkey 20 March | 15:10

The good word is probably
"D-R-U-N-K"
Seeing as that's what I was (unintentionally of course) for a whole friggin' weekend

posted by Joe Famous 20 March | 15:11

mygothlaundry = mysmartlaundry.

posted by Divine_Wino 20 March | 15:11

Hugh: If you scroll your little pictures up and down the screen, they totally look like the background fades in and out.

posted by seanyboy 20 March | 15:12

(unintentionally of course)

of course.

also, I just spilled beer on my Mr. Sparkle shirt.

posted by jonmc 20 March | 15:14

unitentionally drunk! Me too, I slipped and fell on a bottle of John Powers and seven dollar can guinesses. Whoops.

Hobo, Dewayne Hobo.

posted by Divine_Wino 20 March | 15:15

joe: That explains the phone call at 6:30 am on Saturday...

posted by TrishaLynn 20 March | 15:15

Frisbee Girl: The captions were all his idea. I mostly typed them in as he transcribed them.

posted by TrishaLynn 20 March | 15:16

Hey, it could be worse. You could have a theology exam tonight.

But, seriously, have you ever thought of moving down South? North Carolina, where there are Waffle Houses at every interstate exit (and other places too) plus sausage biscuits and pickled pig's feet and Pepsis.

And heaven knows a ton of you Yankees have already figgered it out and moved down here to our little slice of heaven.

posted by bunnyfire 20 March | 15:18

bunny, I love the south, but New York City is both my ancestral homeland and my spiritual home. It's one of the few places I feel completely at home.

posted by jonmc 20 March | 15:20

The omelet story reminds me of that Kids in the Hall sketch where Chicken Lady has a blind date. "Straight from my body and onto your plate! Go ahead..tuck in!"

posted by jrossi4r 20 March | 15:20

well, jrossi, started making the omelet by jumping up in the middle of our conversation and grabbing a package of bacon out of the fridge. Instead of slitting it open like a normal person she hacked it in half with her knife and threw it in the pan and grumbled and cursed at it for not cooking fast enough, then hacked apart mushrooms and red onions (neither of which I enjoy, but I was keeping my mouth shut) and then throwing eggs and american cheese in, all the while guzzling from several 24oz bottles of Beck's and telling the whole history of her lace-curtain circus of a dysfunctional family.

She also made toast. When I described the scene to pips, she said 'In a month you're going to wake up at 3am and find her naked cleaning the apartment with your toothbrush.' And no this woman was not attractive enough to make that an entertaining proposition.

posted by jonmc 20 March | 15:25

But, seriously, have you ever thought of moving down South?
Stop telling the northerners how great it is. They'll all want to move down and they'll make it just like the north. Just tell them the stereotypes are correct and it's rubbish. I know the south's friendliness gauge is stuck on eleven, but you've got to pretend. shhh. keep it for yourselves.

posted by seanyboy 20 March | 15:26

≡ Click to see image ≡

This is Joe Famous in the name of John Mc!!!
Everything's gonna be alright!

posted by Joe Famous 20 March | 15:41

I like you, Joe Famous.

posted by Miko 20 March | 16:06

He's a very likable dude. with active middle fingers.

posted by jonmc 20 March | 16:09

I wanna go to joe's next party.

posted by Hugh Janus 20 March | 16:19

Coming soon to a My House near Flushing!
(mid-june perhaps)

posted by Joe Famous 20 March | 16:36

That's the international sign for "Table for Two" right?

posted by fenriq 20 March | 16:37

Hahaha!!!
"Hey uh Miss HO-stess..um lemme git a table fo' me an my bitch! An' it bettuh not be by the gotdamn kitchen eeethuh!,"

lol.

posted by Joe Famous 20 March | 16:56

≡ Click to see image ≡

Joe Famous says,
"give it up one mo' time for my man
JOHN......EM.......CEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!"

posted by Joe Famous 20 March | 17:03

*puts on red curly wig and sings: "The sun will come out, Tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar that, Tomorrow..." ; >

apartment hunting is a gigantic gigantic pain in the ass--just give it time if you have time. it took me ages every single time i've moved.

posted by amberglow 20 March | 17:30

what mgl said. and This should be a bumper sticker:

Ignore the mumblings of your worried inner chicken and carry on

posted by chewatadistance 20 March | 18:43

jon, listen to gaspode. You're doing all the right things and it will work out in the end.

And whoa, whoa, whoa! jonmc, living somewhere outside of NYC? Inconcievable!

posted by deborah 20 March | 18:46

jon, as someone who ended up sleeping in a park at one point in his life I think you will do OK. Take a deep breath and just get back to the day to day. It WILL get better.

posted by arse_hat 20 March | 22:37

You're super cool and I know things will get better for you. I have my fingers crossed. : ) *hugs*

posted by sisterhavana 20 March | 23:35

jonmc, I just downloaded the music you posted earlier... ahhh, Ike and Tina Turner. That was a really good one. But I cannot get the other dedicated to us mecha-ladies--configuration error. Oh, well, 'nighty night now and hopes tomorrow is your day.

posted by carmina 20 March | 23:44

You're more than a "decent" person, Jack. You're a beautiful person. And I am now and will always be, your friend (like Spok). By-the-by, major freak-out on my part today, too (see rather sappy, though sincere, e-mail). And you didn't blow anything. No more than I did. Feel better. Call me if you want to. Miss you. Always.

posted by Pips 21 March | 01:46

Whoever the pips impersonator is? Sooo not cool. Shame.

Wow.

posted by mudpuppie 21 March | 01:52

I chose to assume that it actually was pips. If it wasn't... yeah, that's some fucked up behavior.

posted by bmarkey 21 March | 02:17

I also really hope that's really pips and not someone being mean.

posted by TrishaLynn 21 March | 07:08

Hold on just a second now... if that's pips, great; if it isn't, it's pretty funny, and also, I reckon jonmc would recognize that and at least appreciate that it was a joke -- anyway, it's not like (if it's an imposter) anything unkind or unsupportive was said, so back off, humor police.

And if it was pips... Hi pips!

posted by Hugh Janus 21 March | 08:41

Hi pips!!

posted by Frisbee Girl 21 March | 12:12

Hey everyone. Yes, it's really me. Felt strange there for a sec. Moment of existential crisis. Am I real? A sprinkle of pixel dust, and poof. Here I am. I don't mean to intrude. I'm glad he has all y'all. Don't mean to put anybody in the middle of anything, either; we're amicable, as he's said. Friends, hopefully. He says he doesn't mind if I "lurk." Says it's a good way to keep up with each other. Encouraged me to join in and comment. We've spoken, and I'm sure he'll confirm my "authenticity" when he gets a chance. All the best.

posted by Pips 21 March | 13:25

Welcome! Yeah - he confirmed you here, earlier. Of course, the jury's still out on whether I'm real...

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 21 March | 13:29

Hi, pips! Welcome!

posted by tangerine 21 March | 13:42

Welcome, pips. You should make an introductory post!

posted by gaspode 21 March | 14:15

Apologies for assuming ill-intent.

posted by mudpuppie 21 March | 15:25

20 March 2006