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18 March 2006

"Hot Girls That Like To Read" Do you have a favorite Spam message header?[More:]
I have the feeling that if I clicked the link the women weren't going to be reading. Unless they're like the "nerdy" librarians in 80's heavy metal videos that suddenly let down their hair and take off their glasses to be transformed into a care-free metal hottie.

Last summer I got an email where the heading apologized for scratching my unattended car and offering to pay for the damages. I can't imagine anyone falling for that - even if their car was recently scratched.
"SEE CHICKS WITH DICKS TURN TRICKS WITH HICKS"

I really admire efficiency of language. This one has it ALL in only 8 words. I mean, the entire UNIVERSE is in there. It's got syncopation, and rhyme. And it's SPAM. It's mind-blowing.
posted by WolfDaddy 18 March | 10:33
"SATISFY YOUR WOMAN YOU PINDICK"

I appreciate the directness of the approach.
posted by Zozo 18 March | 11:39
"There once ruled here a man whose return the gods voomed"

I eventually figured out that it's a line from The Odyssey, with a random word tacked on the end.
posted by agropyron 18 March | 11:40
"hot French high school cheerleaders"

Do they have cheerleaders in French schools? Do they cheer for soccer?
posted by arse_hat 18 March | 12:02
"Former President Bill Klinton uses Voagra!"

That's Klinton from the Klingon Empire though, I think.
posted by fenriq 18 March | 12:04
"necrotic frisbee girl cannibal"
posted by Frisbee Girl 18 March | 12:10
Beefy P. Explosiveness
posted by Eideteker 18 March | 12:24
I don't recall the exact wording, but it promised 14 foot ejaculation.
posted by pieisexactlythree 18 March | 13:42
but it promised 14 foot ejaculation

Imagine telling the realtor why you need a place with bigger rooms. "Do you have anything with a cathedral ceiling?"
posted by Slack-a-gogo 18 March | 13:54
I hereby suggest Slack-a-gogo's name be changed to Slack-a-goo-goo.
posted by fenriq 18 March | 14:05
I thought maybe the fourteen foot ejaculation might come in handy (har har) if you were stuck in a traffic jam and someone cut you off, and giving the finger just wasn't quite satisfying.
posted by pieisexactlythree 18 March | 16:40
Great fuel for FLARF.
posted by safetyfork 19 March | 10:22
My two favourites:
1) "Keep your sexy bone happy" - Who wouldn't want to do that?

2) "Everyone knows you have a tiny dick" - This one made me wanna stick my head out of my office door, just to see if everyone was looking at me...heh.
posted by richat 19 March | 12:54
St. Patrick's Day Through The Eyes Of Jonmc. || A little something from Axe(l)Me

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