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17 March 2006

Virginia, I'm leaving you. [More:]Virginia A Tobacco, I'm leaving you. I love you dearly, but I can't continue in this abusive relationship any more. It's not just that you're spending all my money, it's the physical abuse. You've beat me until my teeth were black and brown, you've broken my nose, and you've pummeled me until I'm breathless for the last time. You can have the kids, I'll be horching them out over the next few months. I'm keeping the dog, Bud, though. You can have everything else. I love you, Sparks, but I was young and drawn to your glamour but I didn't know that you'd be such a smothering bitch. I've been "rationalizing" our relationship for far too long now. You lit my way through foggy nights, you were a trusty companion during boring waits, you've comforted me when I was down, and you helped me celebrate my achievements, but I just can't take your abuse any more.

I miss you already.
*organ music*
posted by jonmc 17 March | 11:12
::moment of silence::

::wild applause::

Woo woo!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 17 March | 11:13
Aww, c'mon tps, no pom-poms?

Nice, porpoise.
posted by danostuporstar 17 March | 11:15
Good luck porpoise!
posted by LunaticFringe 17 March | 11:26
You da man porpoise! It must have been tough to light those fuckers underwater, no?
posted by richat 17 March | 11:36
that's great porpoise. Feel free to rant to us when it gets tough.
posted by gaspode 17 March | 11:38
Yay for you, Porpoise! I know you can do it. : )
posted by sisterhavana 17 March | 11:42
Hey porpoise, way to go. You're better off without her.

By the way, I quit 3 1/2 years ago after 15 years of two-pack-a-day habit. I love talking about quitting and supporting quitters, and have lots of tips and resources. Email in profile if you care to use it.
posted by Miko 17 March | 11:47
Congratulations on your will and your wit!
posted by Zozo 17 March | 11:50
Go porpoise go! We were supposed to try together back in Feb., remember? My quit lasted about a week before I backslid. (Still only about 4 cigs a day, but any is too much.) I'm ready to try again, so maybe we'll do it together after all.
posted by jrossi4r 17 March | 11:55
Best of luck, porpoise.

Something I'm eternally grateful for is that I've never smoked a cigarette in my life. Knowing how I've ended up with every other addictive thing I've picked up, I thank God I never tried the demon weed.
posted by essexjan 17 March | 11:58
Congratulations!

≡ Click to see image ≡
posted by omiewise 17 March | 12:03
Congrats porpoise!

And Jan, now I know I'm not the only person in the world who's never smoked tobacco ever ever. Thanks!
posted by matildaben 17 March | 12:04
Thanks for the kind and encouraging words, everyone. (Man it was wierd having to wait for the coffee to be done instead of having coffee be ready after the morning smoke)

jrossi4r - sure t'ing!

I have a friend who's like Sick Boy from Trainspotting only with cigarettes. It's infuriorating that he can just - stop.
posted by porpoise 17 March | 12:07
keep 'em away from that blowhole!
Good luck. And enjoy it, don't curse it, it's a great thing!
posted by Hellbient 17 March | 12:25
My ex went to the doctor today to get on whatever the pill is that helps you quit. It's a good month for kicking the habit - best of luck to you, porpoise! Enjoy spring!
posted by mike9322 17 March | 12:28
Yeah, mike - I'm on zyban. It's ok, but it took away the pleasure of smoking, raised my blood pressure, and is playing little tricks with my head - hopefully only until I get used to it.
posted by porpoise 17 March | 12:40
Yikes. The first time she quit was when she got pregnant, and that was cold turkey and the easiest thing she's ever done. I don't suppose that's an option for you?
posted by mike9322 17 March | 12:44
porpoise: That's not an option for me because I already have high blood pressure. I wonder if I have high blood pressure because I smoke...?
posted by TrishaLynn 17 March | 12:45
Yeah, TrishaLynn - smoking will elevate your blood pressure. So does chronic heavy drinking. I had elevated BP but my doc just shrugged and wrote a scrip anyway.

No, I'm not quite equipped to host a large parasite. Hmm, got any facehuggers handy, mike?
posted by porpoise 17 March | 12:53
Yay, porpoise!

Jan & Bean - you're not alone. I've never smoked either.
posted by deborah 17 March | 14:12
You remind me of Charles "Motherfucking" Lamb. I on the other hand, have recently said hello again to Miss Ginny after a four year cooling off period.
posted by PinkStainlessTail 17 March | 15:29
The Most Beautiful Teenage Love Song Ever || What do you lay up at night worrying about?

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