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07 March 2006
"He is a man of splendid abilities, ...→[More:]
... but utterly corrupt. He shines and stinks like rotten mackerel by moonlight."
What's crackin'? What should I make for dinner (a 10 year old and a New York Irish lady have to eat it)? As I was pointing out last night, it used to be easy to buy nunchucks in Chinatown and now it is damn near impossible. Wadda ya make a that?
I say you should buy some homemade nunchucks from my man Joe Famous and use them to kill a fish, which you will then lightly encrust in a thin film of froot loop crumbs and fry in Butter Flavor Crisco and serve with some of those Ore-Ida Blue Fries if you can find them. I call it Jonmc's Smurfalicious Rainbow Trout Feast.
Have you ever beaten a fish to death jon? It's not as easy as it looks (twice as fun but not as easy). Actually one time I caught a huge fucking pike on a trip and it wouldn't die, so I was bashing it's head against a stump in the backyard and my friend was in the cabin, all where is the wino and my other friend looked out the window and said, "He's uh, out back, looks like he's having some kind of disagreement with dinner."
who the sphincter? Who's the sphincter?
the crap-encrusted sphincter?
who's the filty fecal cone
that smells like West Bayonne?
(me, I'm the asshole, me)
I've bitten a fish to death. It was not pleasant. It was a big trout, and there was a whole "the spirit will enter you" bunch of bullshit associated with it. Mostly I just felt it shudder.
What about something based around pasta? Chicken or eggplant parm? With a side salad?
I made salmon on sunday to be eaten on monday so we had that last night. I might rock the parm. I was thinking little pizzas because I have to get the kid to come to the grocery store with me and she will be less truculent if pizzas are at the other end.
What I really want is like a stew or a soup but that will have to wait 'till the weekend.
Biting a live fish is ill, in an admirable way and also in the textbook slang sense of nasty. Bravo.
We're hot like Arrabiata
chilled like spumoni
you can eat my big calzone
if you play me like a phony
Drive an IROC-Z
Cos I only want the best
wear my name in 2-inch gold upon my chest
I'm a true paisan and a real goodfella
The hotties love my braciole
so they spread like mozzarella
Yooz betta pay respect
or your gonna buy the farm
we got funk like gorgonzola
but you know we rock the parm...
Yes, and DJ Lethal from House of Pain, but for my joke to work, Everlast would have to be a lyrical genius instead of the handjob who came up with "You make me sick... like strawberry Quik!"
and "I don't have dreads because I shave my head daily."
"I got a trunk fulla beats
and a head fulla rhymes.
I got stains on my sheets
from all the good times
that I spent with your hookers
some were good lookers
some were just stunts after too many blunts"
photo by splunge
photo by TheophileEscargot
photo by Kronos_to_Earth
photo by ethylene
