MetaChat - Diagnose yourself.

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04 March 2006

Diagnose yourself. →[More:]

This is either factual or freestyle. Have at it.

Axis I: The acute presenting psycological diagnosis
Axis II: A personality disorder
Axis III: Any relevant medical diagnoses
Axis IV: Stessors in the patient's life (legal, social, etc).
Axis V: Level of function described on a scale of 0 (minimal function) to 100 (perfect function)

post by: moonbird at: 23:39 | 17 comments

the fo' shizzle help guide is here.

posted by moonbird 04 March | 23:40

Witch one of those disorders is indicated for the anxiety I feel trying to find my disorder, in that list of disorders?

posted by jelly 05 March | 00:05

I'm itchy!
I've got ants in my pants!
I'm discombobulated!
Give me a culmative!

posted by arse_hat 05 March | 00:29

jelly, maybe a which doctor could help you? :)

posted by arse_hat 05 March | 00:31

Oh poo! I kant speel four my ife!

posted by jelly 05 March | 00:44

Once at a bar, this guy asked me if I was a hypomaniac. For someone who didn't know me (and who was just being a jerk), I thought it was a very perceptive diagnosis.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 05 March | 01:26

I: Insecure
II: Schizoid
III: ('97) atypical depression, ('98) potential bipolar, ('00) Type II Bipolar
IV: shit poor, living in father's basement, can't get laid lately
V: functional, 75-ish - depends on how much I've drunk

posted by porpoise 05 March | 01:58

moonbird: you first!

posted by mlis 05 March | 02:46

I either have this or this.

posted by agropyron 05 March | 04:17

I've got cats.

posted by matildaben 05 March | 04:45

Where's evil?

& LOLOLOL@ matilda!

posted by chewatadistance 05 March | 07:22

This is either fact or fiction... muahaha (really, it's so damn fun and easy to diagnose onesself).

Axis I: Dysthymic disorder 300.4
Axis I: Generalized anxiety disorder 300.2
Axis II: No diagnosis V71.09
Axis III: Breathing-Related Sleep Disorder (Obstructive apnea type) 780.59
Axis III: Asthma ---.-
Axis III: Reactive Hypoglycemia ---.-
Axis IV: Financial anxiety NOS
Axis V: GAF 93

posted by moonbird 05 March | 07:42

I have a severe case of the rockin' pneumonia and the boogie-woogie flu.

posted by jonmc 05 March | 09:47

No, YOU DIAGNOSE YOURSELF, Meany!

posted by Lipstick Thespian 05 March | 13:12

jon, I was really hoping someone would say that.

posted by matildaben 05 March | 15:01

Oh, and I've got "a bad case of lovin' you".

posted by matildaben 05 March | 15:01

Symptoms:

*infestation of lower extremities by insects, possibly formicinae formica ("ants in pants")
*irresistable urge to indulge in random, chaotic movement involving entire body; not quite spastci behavior, but close ("need to dance")

Rx: patient is encouraged to get on down with his/her bad self.

posted by bmarkey 05 March | 16:06

← Warning! || Please don't drink and couch-dive. →

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