That depends. Would I also be greased up?

Somebody could fix that but it isn't important.

It is your fantasy, Eideteker. You can go for it! Or not!

Do I have my fantasy body or my real body? Because that totally changes things, too.

Because if I was greased up, I'd totally slip and slide across traffic. Slide right up the hood and down the trunk, going from car to car.

And yeah, is it her fantasy body?

I would steal a guitar and a cowboy hat, in order to have a schtick.

stilicho, you totally stole my comment.

≡ Click to see image ≡

I'd do a dance.

Saunter, baby, saunter!

Jumping jacks.

Unlike last time, I'd go back to the hotel.

I'd try to wake up.

Still no "d" - ? !?

Calisthenics

Apologize and then go get a slice of Famous Ray's pizza.

Masturbate, apologize, and then go get a slice of Gino's pizza.

I'd just continue on my way. What's the issue here?

I suppose I should explain...

Back in the summer of 1992 - I think it ws August - I went to National Wellness Conference in Steven's Point, Wisconsin. I was developing computer-based training and interactive videodiscs for state health agencies under a federal grants contract.

I travel light and had checked the weather - hot and humid. One morning, I woke up to a torrential thunderstorm. I was staying in a dorm and had to walk across the campus to the dining hall for breakfast. I had no umbrella or raingear.

But I did have my Speedo swimsuit. This was back in the day when I could wear a Speedo to the admiration of crowds. So, I stripped down, put on my Speedo, packed my suit and tie with a dry pair of socks in my briefcase, wrapped the briefcase in the plastic bag lining the empty waste basket and strolled off to breakfast.

It was pouring, warm (high 80's) and it was a very pleasant walk for someone from the Pacfic Northwest (where the rain is always cold and just sort of drizzles.)

I got to the dining hall, nipped downstairs to the mens room, changed into my dry clothes, put the swimsuit in the plastic bag and stowed it in my briefcase. Then I had breakfast. In the meantime, the thundershower ended and the sun came out. So off I went to the morning's conference sessions.

At lunch, the dining hall was buzzing with the story of the "nudist" who had been seen on campus that morning. I'm always interested in anomalies, so I asked several people what the deal was.

It seems that earlier that day, a man had been seen walking around the campus -- stark naked. I thought this was an interesting event and wondered why I hadn't seen him, since I was in the area of the sighting around the same time.

Then it hit me: seen from the right side, it would look like I was buck naked and carrying a plastic bag. Oddly, none of the accounts I heard described the "nudist" (this was how everyone described the miscreant) as carrying anything.

So I kept my counsel and continued to collect accounts, showing interest but not offering an alternative explanation.

As far as I know, nobody ever figured it out and I never heard any more about it. This is the first time I've ever made the tale public.

So, like I said above, what's the big deal?

I'd figure that I was probably supposed to be naked, and continue with my day.

I need your clothes, boots and your motorcycle!